Opening Weekend: Sucker Punched

A bunch of girls get all punchy, wimps aren’t losers, losers are losers, mostly if they’re big brothers, and peeping your family just sounds like something you shouldn’t do, well, unless you tell jokes in the 1980’s on the Sunset Strip while wearing skinny ties and sport coats with the sleeves rolled up. This was a thing!

This weekend’s movies sound embarrassing.

Sucker Punch

Ok, uh, wow. This is unfortunate. The reviews…well, the reviews say you should see Paul this weekend.

“Sucker Punch” is an epic action fantasy that takes us into the vivid imagination of a young girl whose dream world provides the ultimate escape from her darker reality. Unrestrained by the boundaries of time and place, she is free to go where her… “Sucker Punch” is an epic action fantasy that takes us into the vivid imagination of a young girl whose dream world provides the ultimate escape from her darker reality. Unrestrained by the boundaries of time and place, she is free to go where her mind takes her, and her incredible adventures blur the lines between what’s real and what is imaginary.

What you can expect: Remember that cartoon in the 90’s, The Powerpuff Girls? Yeah? Okay, I think it may be something like that. At least it looks like something like that with a little bit of Annie thrown in. There’s an evil den mother, a bunch of ass kicking orphans, and a dragon. Wait. A dragon? Yes, apparently there’s some sort of evil dragon, because well, why not a dragon? Apparently dragons like being in CGI-laden movies with a bunch of nubile girls running around with swords and pigtails. Sounds like pervy dragons, but whatever. I imagine a lot of slow-motion fight scenes. Lot’s of overuse of that 300 style cinematography minus the spray on abs, and far-reaching, desolate scorched earth, because if you’re going to be a Powerpuff Girl with a sword in pigtails hanging out with dragons and fifty percent of what made High School Musical popular, it better be the apocalypse.

What could annoy: Copious amounts of CGI, just heaps and loads of it. Bad writing, a bad script, and characters milling around in a large spectacle with a lot to do, but not much to say. This can be a problem with using CGI like this. While the images are fantastic and gorgeous, if there’s not enough story built around it, it can just be window dressing. And for those that try to loop something around such extreme visuals it may become confusing and overblown. I fear Suck Punch suffers from both. Also, Jon Hamm is somewhere in this thing, which now seems like a wasted effort. Don Draper isn’t really hitting it out of the movie ball park. He may need a better agent.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Roderick Rules

Roddy may rule over the “wimp“ but that‘s about all. The reviews say there may not be a three.

In this sequel to 2010’s surprise hit, Greg Heffley, the kid who made “wimpy” cool is back in an all-new family comedy based on the best-selling follow-up novel by Jeff Kinney. (Kinney’s Wimpy Kid” series has thus far sold 42 million books.) As he… In this sequel to 2010’s surprise hit, Greg Heffley, the kid who made “wimpy” cool is back in an all-new family comedy based on the best-selling follow-up novel by Jeff Kinney. (Kinney’s Wimpy Kid” series has thus far sold 42 million books.) As he begins seventh grade, Greg and his older brother – and chief tormentor – Rodrick must deal with their parents’ misguided attempts to have them bond.

What you can expect: A trip back to middle school. Oh, jeebus. Personally, I’d rather get my teeth scraped. I can’t imagine anything I’d like to do less than go back to middle school. Middle school kids are crazy. They’re like little balls of nutty hormones walking around all weird and full of B.O. Nonetheless, this movie is really for kids. The antics of siblings from beloved books has become the newest kid-friendly thing in film. I thought the making of the Ramona books into a movie was cute. This one may still rate on the cute meter, but critics don’t think much else is impressive, but then what are they expecting?

What could annoy: It’s possible the movie tries to be all things to the age group, cute, funny, poignant, and message-y, when it could have picked one of those themes and ran with it. Apparently there’s some bullying type stuff that goes on here. As the viewing public, we really don’t like to identify with the bully. We’re kind of an underdog crowd, so the fact that the story is told from the bully’s point of view could seem odd, but it does allow for the younger brother (the bully-ee) to steal some scenes and lighten the moment.

Indie Screw-Up of the Week

Peep World

Well, somebody thought this was a good idea. Lots more people disagreed.

As the Meyerwitz clan prepares for the 70th birthday of nasty family patriarch HENRY (Ron Rifkin), PEEP WORLD, the expose written by youngest son NATHAN (Ben Schwartz) has gone red hot, making a mess of all of their lives. JACK (Michael C. Hall), the oldest son, is failing in his career and now has to bend over backwards to convince his wife LAURA (Judy Greer) that certain, ahem, salacious events in Nathan’s book weren’t really committed by him. Sister CHERI (Sarah Silverman), a drama queen and struggling actress, can see the PEEP WORLD movie set from her window. Meanwhile, black sheep JOEL (Rainn Wilson), a disaster in slow-motion, plots to turn his life around at his family’s expense.

What you can expect: Family drammmaaazzz. Something you’ve seen before, and probably seen done better. A wacky, dysfunctional family, comes together for a family event, where they get to display their collective wackiness. Cue fights over childish and silly things, lots of venting, lots of blaming, and the well-worn tread of protagonist and antagonist roles. The odd-ball family trope was hugely popular in the 1980’s when people just started feeling comfortable discussing D-i-v-o-r-c-e at the dinner table. A cast that includes, Michael C. Hall, Rainn Wilson, and Sarah Silverman should be full of fun, jokes, mustard colored business suits, and maybe a dead body? No, okay. Maybe not that.

What could annoy: Unfunny jokes about family dysfunction. This is a really bad stand-up routine from 1987 starring Paula Poundstone. There’s really no need to keep doing this unless Zach Galifianakis is in it or it’s a reality show on VHI (Mafia Wives coming soon! This is scary.) It also looks to be a waste of people that we already find marginally funny. I admit that I don’t always get Sarah Silverman’s humor, but lots of people think she’s witty, right? Or do most people think like I do, but want to sound cool when they’re in the coffee shop eating a scone while sitting with their Whole Food shopping bags and hipster sandals?

Anyway, here’s the trailer for Peep World. Judge for yourself, maybe you’ll like it. Maybe you have a real love for Paula Poundstone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Att6tLpHbHA

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