Ah, spring! A time for rebirth! A time for renewal! A time for networks to make announcements about upfronts so the rest of us can learn what we’ll be watching come fall!
There were an awful lot of cancellations this season, which means there were an awful lot of pickups to fill in the gaps. Upfronts officially began on Monday, May 16th, and ABC, Fox, and NBC were the first three networks to post their fall schedules. While some long-awaited pilots (including the Adrianne Palicki-starring Wonder Woman) failed to make the cut, a whole host of new shows were given homes to help beef up the now-lacking fall lineups. Some sound good! Some sound terrible! And some sound…awfully familiar?
Below are descriptions of all the new shows that will be premiering on these three networks this fall; midseason replacements will be posted on Friday.
To make up for the decimation of their lineup, ABC has picked up 13 new shows for the new season, 7 of which will be airing this fall:
Once Upon a Time (Sundays at 8 p.m.)–Jennifer Morrison (House, HIMYM) gets her first starring role alongside Ginnifer Goodwin (Big Love, Something Borrowed) and Lana Parrilla (Swingtown) in this fairy-tale-come-to-life drama.
Pan Am (Sundays at 10 p.m.)—The Mad Men era gets even more representation on TV as Christina Ricci and co. reminisce about a time when flight attendants were called stewardesses and none of them ever got plastered, took a bunch of beers, and let themselves off the plane via inflatable slide.
Last Man Standing (Tuesdays at 8 p.m.)–Tim Allen’s having a hard time being a man, because there are so women around, and life is hard for a man who just wants to be a man but all these vaginas just keep getting in his way, you know?
Man Up (Tuesdays at 8:30 p.m.)–Noticing a theme here? Basically, if you have a vagina, GO AWAY. But you’re probably already watching Glee at this time anyway. Because you have a vagina.
Suburgatory (Wednesdays at 8:30 p.m.)–Guys, life is really hard. A chick (Jane Levy) has to move to the suburbs. To live with her dad (Elton Jeremy Sisto). So I guess Wednesday is horror night for ABC? What? Comedy? Really?
Revenge (Wednesdays at 10 p.m.)–Capping off ABC’s top-rated comedy night is this show about a woman played by Emily van Camp (Brothers and Sisters, RIP) who sets about exacting revenge on the people who destroyed her family. Billed as a female-starring TV version of The Count of Monte Cristo, it also stars Eric van der Woodsen and Payson’s Soulmate Max on Make It or Break It. (OK, they might have real names too–Connor Paolo and Joshua Bowman, respectively.)
Charlie’s Angels (Thursdays at 8 p.m.)–While its pickup is not a surprise, the fact that they’re proceeding with a cast of fairly unknown actresses does raise a couple of eyebrows. Whereas the Angels of the cinematic remake–Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, and Cameron Diaz–were huge names, this newest crop’s biggest name is Friday Night Lights‘ (and Esquire‘s sexiest woman alive) Minka Kelly. (The other two Angels are played by Annie Ilonzeh and Rachael Taylor, with Bosley being played by Ramon Rodriguez.)
Terra Nova (Mondays at 8 p.m.)–If you like shows about time travel and stuff, you might like this! It’s produced by Steven Spielberg, so, there’s that.
New Girl (Tuesdays at 9 p.m.)–-one of the season’s most highly anticipated new shows, thanks to its female lead, the one and only everything-ruiner, Zooey Deschanel. More importantly, the cast includes the adorable and consistently underused Max Greenfield (Veronica Mars, Greek) and a third role that’s now up for grabs since Damon Wayans Jr. was forced to vacate due to the renewal of Happy Endings.
The X Factor (Wednesdays and Thursdays at 8 p.m., coincidentally filling in the Idol slots but THIS IS NOT THE SAME EXACT SHOW NO REALLY)–Have you missed Simon Cowell? I’ll bet you have, you masochist you. Well, not to worry! You can now catch him on really-similar-to-Idol show The X Factor where he’ll be judging singers alongside L.A. Reid, Cheryl Cole, and Paula Abdul (did you miss her? Please tell me you didn’t). The show is hosted by Steve Jones and Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger.
I Hate My Teenage Daughter (Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m.)–Jaime Pressly plays something other than white trash in this comedy about two women (the other is played by Katie Finneran) who hate their teenage daughters. So, they play two completely average women with teenage daughters. Here’s hoping Raising Hope picks up recent guest star Pressly as a regular instead.
Allen Gregory (Sundays at 8:30 p.m.)–A new addition to Fox’s Sunday night Animation Domination lineup about the world’s most pretentious 7-year-old, voiced by Jonah Hill.
NBC
The Playboy Club (Mondays at 10 p.m.)—The idea of setting a series in the 1960s may not be a particularly novel one these days, but put “Playboy” in the title and Amber Heard and Jenna Dewan-Tatum in the cast and you’ve got yourself a leg up. Maybe two.
Up All Night (Wednesdays at 8 p.m.)–Christina Applegate. Maya Rudolph. Will Arnett. It’s really impossible for this not to be good.
Free Agents (Wednesdays at 8:30 p.m.)–Remakes of British shows have certainly had varying degrees of success in the states. On the one hand, The Office. On the other hand, Coupling. So where will this romantic comedy starring Hank Azaria (The Simpsons, Herman’s Head) and Kathryn Hahn (Crossing Jordan, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) fall? Um, did I mention Hank Azaria?
Whitney (Thursday at 9:30 p.m.)–I have no idea what this show is about, but it will be airing directly following The Office so I will probably watch it anyway. (“Whitney,” by the way, is Whitney Cummings. That doesn’t mean anything to me, but if it does to you, enjoy!)
Prime Suspect (Thursday at 10 p.m.)–Maria Bello (The Cooler, Coyote Ugly, ER) takes on the Helen Mirren role in this remake of a British series about a female detective in a male-dominated precinct.
Grimm (Friday at 9 p.m.)–In a world where Grimm’s fairytale characters are real, David Giuntoli (Road Rules: South Pacific, Privileged) is the detective in charge of protecting his fellow IRL peeps.
Tune in tomorrow for reports on CBS and the CW; in the meantime, tell us in the comments which of these shows you’ll be watching!
