George Clooney and Brad Pitt never had this problem. Bradley Cooper needs a hug, guys. Soderbergh gets the short end of the Tatumpole. Sharon Stone signs on for porn, kinda. Peter Dinklage talks fantasies — and for television — time stands still.
This week’s Hollywood dish is up in arms!
Okay. Now this may be a shock to some, but I’m just gonna come out and say it — not everything is an item that should play hockey with your organs. People apparently are forgetting that fact and instead are deciding that just about ANYTHING should see the inner workings of their body from an access point that’s usually off limits. I’m thinking maybe there should be some sort of campaign. Perhaps a slogan or something. Yes, something like “Your iPod is a listening device…for your ears. Your Lower Intestine Can’t Hear. End Musical Devices in Your Innards.”
And there’s a book about it.
Fat? We live in such a technological firestorm that anytime a celebrity is photographed nearly instantaneous commentary arises on anything from the hairstyle they’ve chosen, their wardrobe, and even their physical features, via any number of sources. Within moments it’s mentioned on a blog, on Twitter, on Facebook, via text message and possibly with corresponding video. It’s now as easy as hitting “submit” to glimpse someone’s image and make a judgment all in seconds.
Well, one millennial used that very technology to fight back…and good for her.
There are just a bunch of crazed dingleberries over at that network. Seriously. You really want to believe that their decision making ability is in tact, but what it seems we’re actually getting is drunk uncle Marvin, singing show tunes to an oven mitt, declaring war on a lobster pot, and flirting shamelessly with your mother’s cousin Shirley.
NBC needs an intervention.
In this simmering pot, which often seems a bit too slow to boil, will questions be answered this week? Will we find Sophia? What is going on at the Greene farm, and finally will zombies rise again to remind us of what these characters really and truly face, or will we continue to only ponder the intricacies of humanity.
Let’s find out.
Well, here we are at another GOP Debate. Again! Forever! This time we’re primetime and on a major television network. CBS what have you wrought? No more schlepping with Anderson Cooper or making time with shouty Jim Cramer. Tonight it all goes down in South Carolina and the focus is on foreign policy. Gulp. Heh. Nope, I’m not gonna say it.
Let’s just watch.
This is absolutely shocking. No. This is just what you expected when the trailer for Jack & Jill first murdered your eyeballs. You anticipated that Adam Sandler’s new movie in which he plays a dual role — the other noxious character — Sandler with lady-boobs and a wig stolen from Benny Hill’s closet circa 1978 — would suck butt.
But someone actually has to track these things, so let’s find out just how bad it actually is.
10 months after being shot in the head, Giffords and husband, astronaut Mark Kelly, sat down with Diane Sawyer for an interview.
This will probably be the best thing you’ll see all day.
Oh, crap. No, wait…yay! Urmph. Such conflict. On one hand he’s an Oscar testament. Seriously, if there were a tabernacle built on the undulating viscera that is the Oscar Stage where many have fallen on a sword of awful jokes, rambunctious dance numbers, a whole oven full of pot brownies, and the lovemaking of Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin — that tabernacle would be Billy Crystal. The bad part of this is we’re kinda afraid of Billy telling jokes that were last funny in 1992. Something about pecan pie and white men’s overbites. Sheesh. This could be awful.
Well, do you have tickets for the November 18th opening night of the next installment of the Twilight Saga, Twilight: Breaking Dawn or as I refer to it lovingly, reverently, and comically — Twilight: Pulsing Uteri? No? You better hurry up! Tickets are selling like mad. Mad I tell you! Mad like a shruggy virgin about to have the sparkle sex for the first time with a bed-crushing, star-dusted vampire nebulous, and then give birth to the world’s first twinkle fetus!
It. Will. Be. Glorious.