Rowen

57 posts
Rowen spends his time fighting the forces of evil and over-caffinated tourists, using only his sparkling tiara action and a somewhat inappropriate mini-skirt. In his spare time he dates older men and questions their love at the drop of a hat. He's totally ok with not writing in kanji, since in 50 years, he's gonna be the ruler of the known universe and living in a crystal palace with a daughter who's got a horse fetish.

10 Songs to Bring Olde Skool Flair to Your Christmas Playlist

If you’re anything like me, you probably like Christmas music, but are sick of hearing the same verse of “Jingle Bells” done over and over again, as well as the latest group of teen boys singing “Deck the Halls” or mangling the words to the “Twelve Days of Christmas.” Well, I’m here to help you out. You see, there have been centuries of beautiful Christmas music that no one sings anymore. Maybe not no one, but these treasures tend to remain hidden until someone like Enya dusts them off for her next Christmas album, or some random pop “star” does really shitty renditions of them. Continue reading →

Swimming in the Correct Lane

Pictured: Not You
So, you bought your new Speedo gear, expensive “no-fog” swim goggles with streamline effect and wipers, the latest in rubber head gear, and a horde of swimming knick-knacks that are supposed to boost your speed and performance. You’re ready to take on the public pool and all those other swimmers can eat your dust. Or whatever Michael Phelps calls it. Time to go work out and get all sexy!

Before you jump in and make a fool of yourself, it’s time to learn at little bit about lap swimming etiquette. Yes, that’s right, etiquette. There’s a polite way to do this, and I promise you that with a few pointers, you might not be able to out-swim Michael Phelps, but you can swim in the same pool that he does and not look like a total douche. Continue reading →

Authors I Have Loved

Little does the poor kid know. . .

OMG, I just read this book and it’s AMAZING!!! You have to totes check it out! For realz, yo! Only . . . after you read it, don’t read anything else that author wrote. Well, maybe there’s one or two, but seriously, you should quit while you’re ahead. Maybe read the recaps on Wikipedia if you have to know what happens. . .

I’m sure we’ve all come across this, an author with a lot of promise, who ends up rapidly disappointing after taking a wrong turn, often for no discernible reason, at least to the readers. It can be very hard to write well, and continuously, especially when you have an editor breathing down your neck (Hi, GI and Bots!!), and a rabid fan base clamoring for more of the character that you hated. For example, L. Frank Baum and C.S. Lewis had no intentions to continue the stories they started in The Wizard of Oz and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, yet their fans demanded it, and now we have seven Narnia books and over 40 Oz books, with thirteen being written by Baum. Agatha Christie is on record as loathing Hercule Poirot (her exact words are “detestable, bombastic, tiresome, ego-centric little creep”), yet kept him going for a long time, simply to please her fan base. Continue reading →

What Does the Bible Say About Homosexuality?

I’m sure you’ve heard or come across people who sit there and talk about how the Bible condemns homosexuality. I’m here to tell you that those folks are . . . misguided at best. Some of them are just plan full of it, but I’d like to think that most of them just haven’t actually looked it up. I’d really like to think that they’ve just followed what other people have told them, like so many other popular culture things in America. So, hopefully this will be a quick(ish) guide to what the Bible really says about homosexuality. Continue reading →