Before you jump in and make a fool of yourself, it’s time to learn at little bit about lap swimming etiquette. Yes, that’s right, etiquette. There’s a polite way to do this, and I promise you that with a few pointers, you might not be able to out-swim Michael Phelps, but you can swim in the same pool that he does and not look like a total douche.
1) Know your level of swimming. I can’t stress this hard enough. Just because you can enter a pool and not drown doesn’t mean you get to swim in the fast lane. And yes, at many pools, there are specified lanes for faster and slower people. You might feel like a loser getting into the slow lane, but you will feel like a bigger loser when the entire lane chews you out because they had to swim ¾’s of their lap with your toes in their face. If you aren’t a good swimmer, or have never swum before, there are lots of Masters Swimming programs that will teach and coach you, as well as giving you something resembling a social life. You’ll pick up tips and ways to not drown, and maybe even figure out how to do one of those snazzy flip turns, so you too can look cool.
2) Ditch the gear. No, seriously. Unless you know what you’re doing, most of that stuff is just going to get in your way. Kickboards work best when you know how to kick properly. Paddles work when you have already figured out how to move your hands. The figure eight looking thing that goes between your legs? You need to know how to move your upper body, or else it’s going to be a big drowning like mess. This goes double for Speedos and, sometimes, swim-caps. If you can barely make a length of the pool, you don’t need to worry about drag. You need to worry about streamlining, breathing, form, and most likely, getting your face in the water, but you won’t be going so fast that the drag from your swim trunks will slow you down. It’s just not worth it. Plus, your junk doesn’t look so good when it’s packed in there and shriveled up.
3) Don’t hang out at the end of the lane. If you need to rest for a bit, move to the corner or side, or get out of the water. There are going to be people in the pool who have a lot of stamina, and thus want to do more then one lap before stopping. What some of them do is come up to the wall, and flip over and push off. In this situation, if you’re in the way, you are either going to get a face full of foot and water, or someone feet in your crotch. Neither is all that pleasant.
4) Keep it simple. If you’re a more advanced swimmer, and the pool is crowded, it’s probably not a good idea to do butterfly. At best, you’ll be an annoyance to other people, and at worse, you’ll chop someone in the neck (this has totally happened to me). Also avoid really slow strokes like breast-stroke and side-stroke (seriously folks, there’s no reason to do side stroke for exercise, unless you’re 90). You might also want to rethink backstroke, since you will drift across the lane and ram into other people, since they’re not paying attention either.
In general, keep it simple, respect other people and act like you’re driving, except you’re not in Europe, and for the most part, you can’t pass anyone. There are also no lights, and you can’t really change lanes. Other then that, just think of a highway where you can’t turn, and can’t pass and you’ll probably be fine. I think.
Just leave the skimpy Speedos at home, even if you do have a 6 pack.
