June 3, 2011 – Page 2

Three Easy Steps to Have a Great Vacation

It’s that time of year again, summer is officially (according to the unofficial calendar) upon us.

Can you sense my excitement? No? Have a seat, let me explain.

I grew up in, and currently live in a beach resort – America’s Favorite Family Resort, to be exact. It’s a small island where 9 months out of the year the population hovers around 15,300. The streets are quiet, the stores and restaurants (the few that remain open, anyway) are easily accessible (no wait times!) and you rarely hear a police or fire siren. The population trends older (or at least if feels that way) and sometimes, when the wind blows just right, I swear I’m living on the set of Gilmore Girls … just a little more Jersey-er. As boring as it can be – I have grown to really appreciate and enjoy it; and by the time the last weekend of May passes, I’m clinging to those “happy thoughts” with every fiber of my being. Continue reading →

John Edwards Is an A-hole and Other Things We Assumed

Sleazy, grimy politics isn’t new. Much of the American consciousness has become desensitized when it comes to the political games, posturing, and all together insanity that follows presidential candidates, until you discuss John Edwards. John Edwards is a different kind of scumbag. He’s the kind of scumbag who’ll cheat on his cancer-ridden wife, father a child with his mistress, pay for her silence, cover it up, run for the presidency, fail miserably amid a shit-scorching scandal, attempt resurrection by traveling to Haiti on a pandering mission, look sullen at his wife’s funeral, and then when the shit really hits the now very real federal indictment fan, beg his mistress to cover for him. Yeah, this is the guy who was once a democratic darling who we’d now like to erase from our collective memories forever. Continue reading →

How to Dress When Meeting the Girlfriend’s Parents

I’m about to spill a lot ink giving suggestions on how to dress for your first meeting with your girlfriend’s parents. You can ignore everything I will say, if you follow these two rules.

Assess what she is wearing…and go a notch above.
Tailor everything. Everything.

If you are a fellow homodeviant, these rules apply to you too. The female pronouns just make my job (haha) easier. Continue reading →

Jack Kevorkian Dies

Dr. Jack Kevorkian, AKA “Dr. Death,” who helped dozens of sick people commit suicide has died at age 83. Ironically, he died after a prolonged illness in a hospital bed – exactly the kind of death he helped his patients avoid.

Many people will say many things about this man and his deeply flawed methods, but I believe we would not have had this vitally important public conversation about death and self determination without him. He was an angel to those whose suffering he relieved at their request and a devil to those who despised his methods and message. Although his publicity seeking and death-obsessed art was off putting to even those that supported his message, he should be recognized as the trailblazer he was in bringing end of life issues to the forefront of American discourse. I only hope that dying in a hospital bed was what he wanted. Because that’s ultimately what Dr. Kevorkian was about: choice.

RIP Jack.

Flashback Friday: Baby Come Back!

You know them, you love them, more importantly, you’ve used them – they are the begging songs. The songs you dedicate to the loved one who just left you standing alone on the curb…in the rain…not even bothering to look back. The song you sing in the shower to the one you desire so, so, SO, so much and that you just know you would make happy. Or the worst, the one that you shouldn’t have let go (dummy) and now she’s off with another man. Continue reading →

Wales Will Have Water No Matter What Twitter Says, and Other Tall Tales

Apparently the spreading of crazy rumors isn’t only a United States thing. Customers in the Rhondda Cynon Taf, Rhymney and Caerphilly areas of Wales got their panties in a bunch, because a letter was sent out that some repairs were being made to the local water works. Misreading this well-meaning missive, some overly helpful soul got on the Twitterz™ and said that everyone’s water supply was being cut off. This had the effect of swamping the Welsh Water Call Centre (see that spelling? classy!) so the folks in charge had to get to Teetering and Tweetering to let the public know that their water supply was not being cut off. Jeez Louise, already. Continue reading →