Sleazy, grimy politics isn’t new. Much of the American consciousness has become desensitized when it comes to the political games, posturing, and all together insanity that follows presidential candidates, until you discuss John Edwards. John Edwards is a different kind of scumbag. He’s the kind of scumbag who’ll cheat on his cancer-ridden wife, father a child with his mistress, pay for her silence, cover it up, run for the presidency, fail miserably amid a shit-scorching scandal, attempt resurrection by traveling to Haiti on a pandering mission, look sullen at his wife’s funeral, and then when the shit really hits the now very real federal indictment fan, beg his mistress to cover for him. Yeah, this is the guy who was once a democratic darling who we’d now like to erase from our collective memories forever.
Today an indictment was handed down after a two-year investigation into whether John Edwards’ political donors gave more than $1 million to Rielle Hunter, his campaign videographer and mistress, to hide their affair as he pursued a bid for the Presidency in 2008. However, his attorneys deny that Edwards broke the law. I would contend that he broke the law of human decency…but that’s just one onlookers opinion.
His legal team is traveling to North Carolina today to meet with prosecutors in which the outcome will most likely be a grand jury indictment or a negotiated charge that could result in a guilty plea. If Edwards pleads guilty he will probably lose his law license, and a lengthy, highly publicized admission of facts will follow. Oh, yes, it will be the spectacle of the century that will rival any episode of Desperate Housewives you’ve ever seen. There will be salacious details, a possible sex tape or two, recorded phone conversations, transcripts, and all other manner of unearthed debauchery…coming this fall on NBC.
In an interesting tidbit, the National Enquirer, whose crack news team broke the mistress story to everyone’s surprise, has intimated that Edwards has pleaded with Hunter to cover for him if and when an indictment comes down, even going so far as to propose marriage, which means Hunter would not be required to testify against him in court. Would he do this? Yes, yes, of course he would. I mean, the man carried on with his “videographer” pretty openly so that staffers and others knew, while Elizabeth Edwards, his wife of 33 years, struggled with cancer until her untimely demise last December. He is exactly the type of asshole who would propose marriage to his “baby mama” purely to keep his bacon out of jail. His ability to be a complete and utterly useless jackal knows no bounds, apparently.
When you descend so far into the spiral of pants-crappingly, mind-staggering, political annihilation by your own hand, proving yourself to be the lowest of scavenger muck, it almost seems that an indictment is a blessing. People believed and voted for you, you maniac. Now it seems your story is only fit for Hollywood.
Here’s the best quote of the week.
“Trial or not, John Edwards is the Charlie Sheen of American politics – great hair and no chance for rehabilitation,” Democratic consultant Jack Quinn told the AP.
We concur.
