I’m about to spill a lot ink giving suggestions on how to dress for your first meeting with your girlfriend’s parents. You can ignore everything I will say, if you follow these two rules.
- Assess what she is wearing…and go a notch above.
- Tailor everything. Everything.
If you are a fellow homodeviant, these rules apply to you too. The female pronouns just make my job (haha) easier.
You all are going to meet her ‘rents, therefore, she’s your best resource for understanding their sensibilities and she’ll be your best guide for acing this situation. Instead of asking her what you should wear, the better option is to ask what she is wearing then using that in conjunction with this nifty guide to build your winningest strategy. If you only ask what you should wear, she may spit some hot BS like “oh honey, they’ll love you not matter what”. Lies. All of it. If you think of it this moment like a job interview, she’s hired already. You’re not.
Tailoring not only makes you look fitter, but smarter and more like the type of guy who remembers the important details – such as changing the air filters seasonally and leaving the faucets dripping on extended vacays. The stuff a pappa wouldn’t want his baby worrying about. Nip and tuck everything that will be meeting their eyes. Yes, baby doll, you’re fully expected to tailor Levi’s. Refer to this guide for proper fit. Remember, this moment isn’t about you or your “comfort”; it’s about making her family feel at ease with you joining their clan.
The big meeting can happen in a number of ways and I’ll recommend an outfit for each:
- Dinner date. A dinner is the most time-tested method, the safe and traditional way for a “nice” girl to blend her nice boy into her nice family; it’s how Mary introduced Joseph. Unlike moral codes, sartorial standards change and this is how a 2011 gentleman should dress for a dinner date:
High casual with a pop of color. This shows that you’re a (not too) daring and smart young man. If you want to tone it down a bit, wear the black trousers instead.
- The Family Reunion/BBQ is a toughie. The heat! Humidity! Charcoal! You’ll be sweating like a motherfucker and still be expected to look good. I recommend keeping it simple.
Polo shirt and chinos will do the trick. Shorts are even an option! You want to project the image of being a good dude who enjoys a hearty down-home good time. Since this look involves so few pieces, it’s imperative that each one is interesting, so make sure the polo has a little bit of detail. No oversized golf “dad” polos are allowed. Wear a tank top t-shirt, colloquially known as a “wife beater”, underneath. It may seem stupid to add a layer in 90% humidity but it’ll absorb the sweat and keep you looking good.
- Holiday Visits. So Brittany has decided to take you to her Heartland roots. This girl REALLY has a thing for you and her parents know it. They’ll be judging extra hard so when they pick you up from the airport, be wearing something similar to the outfit above and not your usual travel sweats. Driving? Make sure the car is detailed.
They’ll even be judging your luggage:
Simple. Clean. Masculine.
Your sleeping attire? Jammie bottoms and a t-shirt:
No more and no less. This shows that you’re detailed oriented (obviously! you even packed pajamas) and respect their space (those mesh shorts show the outline of your man-friend). A matchy-matchy set is all “he’s a fussy man who can’t even relax at night. Got to be putting on a show all the time.” Trash bags carry-alls and sleeping in the nude only work on the Jersey Shore.
- Wedding requires a suit. The end. Two people are enjoining their lives forever and ever, the least you can do is coordinate a two-piece suit.
Light and cotton for summer.
Grey and wool for the other seasons.
- The Coffee Date has a faux casual air that can trip a lesser man up.
You, however, are the type of man who is happy to wake up 5 minutes earlier to get the job done properly. You know that it is just as easy to throw a simple sweater and jeans, as it is to wear a hoodie and sweats.
You notice how little I focused on the actual clothes and semantics of each outfit? That was purposeful because this moment isn’t really about the clothes rather the impression they project. Choose well, my friends.
Pictures From:
- Faconnable: blazer, white and black trousers.
- L.L. Bean Signature: polo and shorts; from Land’s End Canvas: chinos
- Gilt: Bodhi Military Square Duffle
- L.L. Bean: sleep pants; from Hanes: undershirt
- J. Crew: Chino Ludlow Suit
- J. Crew: Grey Wool Ludlow Suit
- Land’s End Canvas: Cotton-Cashmere Turtleneck
