Daily Archives: April 4, 2011

12 posts

Monday Night Open Thread

Hi gang. Looks like we are getting off to a good start this week.

Since today is the anniversary of the assassination of Dr. King I thought I would post this. It is rare that anyone watches it all the way through, but in our own troubled times it is a nice reminder that the human spirit does sometime triumph over adversity. In a world of so much injustice and suffering it it important to remind ourselves that although progress is often slow, sometimes things really do get better.

Have a wonderful night.

Animonday: The Big Snit

Hello, welcome to the re-branded Found Footage Friday as Animonday, now dedicated to animation, especially animated shorts. FFF didn’t really work out, there were never more than 10 comments not counting my own, but everyone loves cartoons, right? This will be a showcase for cartoons slightly outside the mainstream, animation you might not otherwise have seen.

I’ll start out with one of my personal favorites from Canadian animator Richard Condie. You might know him from his hilarious The Cat Came Back cartoon, but The Big Snit from 1985 is his masterpiece. A 10-minute Oscar-nominated film about Scrabble, sawing, marital strife and nuclear Armageddon. Enjoy!

Charlie Sheen’s Opening Night Predictably Sucks

Charlie Sheen’s Violent Torpedo of Truth/Bipolar Disaster Dickhead show opened Saturday night in Detroit, and in an absolutely shocking turn of events, it completely sucked. Over at Entertainment Weekly, they live blogged the whole fiasco. Before the show, the reporter questioned some fans outside the theater, asking if they were worried about Charlie’s mental health. Answer? Hell no, they just thought he was funny. Yea, funny until the guy holds a knife to your throat, shoots you, or beats the shit out of you. But whatever.

The show started ten minutes late, which isn’t really terrible as far as shows goes. The opening act, a comedian that I can’t even find the name of, got booed off the stage with the crowd chanting for Charlie. In fact, it got so bad that Sheen came out, begging the crowd to give the dude a chance. No such luck, and the poor comedian was off the stage in 20 minutes.

After a confusing part where the lights came back on, Charlie’s set started with a video montage of his own movie clips. How narcissistic can one asshole be? The answer seems to be “limitlessly so” as Charlie came on stage and began rambling about trolls and warlocks, going into his typical (old, boring, dumb) routine, talking about napalm and “sweat eating whores,” which basically morphed into a typical whining screed about how everybody is so mean to poor Charlie.

After the crowd became restless, with many walking out and booing Sheen, he taunted the crowd by boasting “I already got your money, dude!” Charlie then made the wonderfully sensitive remark about how he should share some stories about crack, since Detroit seems like “good place to tell some crack stories.” Wonderful. Then there’s this great live blog update from EW:

9:23 — We are watching video of Charlie Sheen playing Call of Duty.

Sheen continued to berate the crowd, basically making fun of them for wasting their money. Apparently, Snoop Dogg was supposed to show up (and Sheen and Snoop recorded a song together? WTF?). Snoop was a no show, and people continued to leave in droves as Charlie continued to offend everyone. The show ends with a video montage/music video, Charlie doesn’t bother to come back out, and the show is literally over by 10:20.

RadarOnline has some video of this catastrophe, if you have the stomach to bear this. It’s mostly him rambling about inane crap. I don’t think we’re (read: I know we’re not) really surprised by this utter shit show, and we shouldn’t per se feel sorry for the dumb schmucks that shelled out actual cash for this crap, but one could wonder about all the shows in the future. As previously reported, these shows aren’t really sold out, and rather, ticket scalpers/re-sellers bought mass amounts hoping to make a profit. Maybe Charlie Sheen will cancel future  shows, refund everyone’s money (not likely), and go sit in the corner? April Fools!

 

Gandhi, Sex, and the Cycle of Outrage

Currently there is a new book on Gandhi making its rounds on the internet review circuit, Joseph Lelyveld’s Great Soul: Mahatma Gandhi and His Struggle with India. Initially the book generated a number of “controversial” reviews that focused on sexual scandal, bisexuality, and racism allegedly related to this modern Hindu icon. Outrage!

Gandhi on left with friend Hermann Kallenbach and unnamed woman

Here are some examples: “Outrage in India over new biography that depicts Gandhi as racist, bisexual” or “Outrage over claims of Mahatma Gandhi being bisexual.”

Interestingly, now, a number of articles are coming out about the reviews themselves in the very circular way such things work in cyberspace. The Times of India: “Outrage over reviews of new Gandhi book”; the Economic Times supplement: “Outrage over reviews of Joseph Lelyveld’s ‘Mahatma Gandhi and His Struggle with India.”

The New York Times, where Lelyveld once held an elite position, just plain plays softball: “Appreciating Gandhi Through His Human Side.”

I will only discuss a couple of examples cited in the reviews and one  from Google Book Previews (I am currently still waiting for the book to arrive ). While the book is still in the public eye, however, I want to say a few things about what I call the Cycle of Outrage that the book is being subjected to and offer examples of other books about Indian religious icons that have undergone this treatment. What can we expect to happen with Lelyveld’s  contribution?

It seems inevitable that when you explore the human and especially the sexual lives of modern Hindu figures, you inevitably run into a shit storm disproportionate to the offering, especially from the religious right (sometimes referred to as Hindutva). The shit storm may amount to very little, like bad Amazon reviews, but it may take a darker turn and include vandalism and/or death threats. We will blame the internet, right-wing politicing, and mob mentality.

So here is some of the dirt on the book Great Soul. The author, Lelyveld, is a former executive editor of the New York Times, had a long career as a journalist and writer, and has lived and traveled throughout Asia and Africa. A 2005 overview of his career can be read here. Lelyveld draws primarily from Gandhi’s autobiography and journals, and from his own journalistic legwork in South Africa stretching back to the 1960s. Lelyveld revisits some of Gandhi’s old haunts as well as explores his enduring reputation there (a monument of Gandhi erected in Durban is contrasted to a McDonald’s restaurant built on top of a vegetarian restaurant he frequented).

Gandhi and Race

Lelyveld is accused of characterizing Gandhi as “racist.” The term is found three times in the book, most emphatically when describing his attitude towards Gandhi’s views of South Africans. He refers, for example, to a well known quote about Gandhi’s strong feelings on the “mixing of the Kaffirs with the Indians” (just Google this phrase to see its extensive use). And while he does suggest that Gandhi’s language is racist, the sage’s controversial views on race have long been known, so this charge against Lelyveld seems a little unfair since this view is not unique to him. Outrage!

Gandhi, Vows, and Sex

Early on, Lelyveld hones in on Gandhi’s vow of brahmacharya, basically a Hindu vow of celibacy, and his subsequent struggles with it. Gandhi takes a particular approach to this vow that is inspired from his reading of the Bhagavad Gita – be detached from this world but remain engaged with it (that is, don’t run away to a cave or mountain top). The result is a politically active renunciant. It is the “struggles” as they are portrayed by Lelyveld and as they are (more importantly) filtered through the online reviews, that are primarily the source of the outrage.

Gandhi’s view of sex is presented as follows: “Gandhi held to a traditional Hindu idea that a man is weakened by any loss of semen–a view aspiring boxers and their trainers are sometimes said to share–and so for him his vows from the outset were all about discipline, about strength.” We also learn how he reprimanded his son for having sex with his wife (the son’s that is). Gandhi is quoted saying: “sex leads to a ‘criminal waste of precious energy’ that ought to be transmuted into ‘the highest form of energy for the benefit of society’.” OK!

The Wall Street Journal outlines a few of the juicy controversies in the book. Lelyveld discusses the “nightly cuddles” that 70 year old Gandhi had with his 17 year old niece while leading India’s independence movement. A “test” of his spiritual (brahmacharya) vow. Gandhi says of these experiences: “Despite my best efforts, the organ remained aroused. It was an altogether strange and shameful experience.” These episodes are also well known (e.g. Sudhir Kakar analyzed Gandhi’s “experiments” with young women in 1989).

I had not previously read about the Vaseline episode discussed in the WSJ. Cotton wool and a jar of petroleum jelly are linked to a portrait of Gandhi’s friend, the Jewish architect and bodybuilder named Hermann Kallenbach. Gandhi kept his photo on the mantle across from his bed. The cotton and Vaseline are a “constant reminder” of his friend. What does that mean? Maybe it is for an enema? Lelyveld asks. The unstated suggestion is that Gandhi might have masturbated to the photo of his friend. It is this passage that has generated the most controversy along with this and this. The reviews take this to mean that Lelyveld says Gandhi is bisexual, although it is mostly suggestive rather than explicit. And then there is the entourage of women who administered Gandhi’s daily massages at his sexy ashram. Now that is some brahmacharya Gandhi! Lelyveld seems to want to lead his readers in a number of possible directions, but never really makes any definitive statements on this “controversial” issue. The reviewers, however, go to town and the religious right follow right behind. This is how controversies are manufactured and people’s lives can get messed up. The book has already been banned in Gujarat and will likely get banned in Maharashtra. Book burnings will follow.

Other Book Controversies

Shivaji: king and icon of 17th century Hindu revival

There are precedents for the current Cycle of Outrage. I want to look briefly at three “controversial” books treating similarly revered Hindu figures. All of these books have been the subject of banning campaigns by the religious right. All the authors have been subjected to death threats and public ridicule. Book burnings and extensive vandalism have also ensued. In most cases the reaction is stirred by one or two controversial lines or footnotes by people with political axes to grind; like this fucker, who is responsible for Lelyveld’s troubles in Gujurat.

The first book was written by James Laine: Shivaji: Hindu King in Islamic India. He claimed, in a footnote, that Shivaji’s father was an illegitimate child born to a Muslim dancing girl. The library where Laine did his research was ransacked by a mob and workers there were badly injured. The case for banning the book went to the supreme court and only recently thrown out. Prior to this, there were calls to arrest Laine. He also received death threats.

To give you an idea of who Shivaji is to Hindus, especially in Maharashtra, there are currently plans underway to build his statue off the coast of India equivalent to the statue of liberty. Shivaji is a big fuckin’ deal!!

Another book is Paul Courtright’s Ganesa: Lord of Obstacles, Lord of Beginnings. This author received death threats and had his book banned because he psychoanalyzed a myth about the elephant god’s birth (in 2 out of 300 pages); something about his trunk representing a “flaccid” penis and being no threat to his father (Shiva). Not a stellar analysis to be sure, but reasons for threats, etc.? Maybe not. The book was initially published in the ’80s and circulated unnoticed until an Indian edition was to come out about a decade ago. That edition never got published because of right-wing outrage. Again, let’s blame the internet for this. Here is what went down in the author’s own words.

Finally, there is Jeffery Kripal’s book Kali’s Child: The Mystical and the Erotic in the Life and Teachings of Ramakrishna (1995). The book explores and analyzes the “mystical experiences” of the Bengali Saint Ramakrishna against a backdrop of repressed homosexual desire. Here is more than you ever could want to know about this book, its controversy, and the Ramakrishna movement.

The lesson? Write your books in the pre-internet age and/or make the controversial topics secondary to generic topics that few will bother to read. On second thought, that didn’t work well for Paul Courtright. However, keep this in mind: book burnings sell books.

So there you have it. We can expect that Lelyveld’s book will continue to get banned in India and he will likely receive death threats from a subsection of zealous right wing Hindus spurred to action by assholes like Modi who is, in turn, inspired by all the trite shit he reads in the Daily Mail or where ever. It doesn’t matter that Lelyveld may or may not have said the things that the reviews claim he did, in the manner that they claim he did (without nuance or context). It is all part of the Cycle of Outrage!

Stay in school kids. Keep reading and be sure to order your books through the Crass Amazon link!

Thoughts on Getting My Sexy Back

On Friday, I received an e-mail from the pole dancing studio where I take classes notifying me that it was closing as of April 3. My heart sank a bit at the news. Not only because I’ll miss visiting that studio and the women who gathered there, but because of how much the space helped me.

While pole  dancing may be seen as the latest workout du jour for just about anyone, including Jesus, it also provided (at least) one woman — me — with a way to find the dormant sexiness and awaken it.

Two years ago, I decided to sign up for Level 1 at the studio on a whim. I’d never done anything like pole dancing and after signing up, kept thinking, “Oh god, what the hell is my fat ass going to do on this fucking pole?!!”

Thankfully, that feeling quickly faded away. The studio space was small, which meant each class only had six women at a maximum. Each woman had their own story, some saw the class as a means of getting exercise, some wanted to learn how to pole dance for flirtation with their significant other, and then there were women like me — very shy, somewhat awkward, and convinced that they couldn’t be sexy if their life depended on it.

After the first class, I was hooked…and bruised in placed I’d never been bruised before. There was just something freeing about the experience. No one laughed at me if I couldn’t do the pole trick perfectly after 10 tries. Instead, there was constant encouragement from everyone.

From the freedom found in the studio, it seeped into my everyday life. Slowly but surely, I noticed myself buying flirtier underthings, thigh-high stockings, and shoes with a four-inch (or more) heel. I held my head a bit higher. My friends saw my confidence improving.

Since that first class, I went on to take a couple more and performed in the first “recital” held in the studio. (The above photo may or may not be of yours truly.) Until a knee injury forced me to slow down, I visited weekly to work out with a group of industry pole performers who frequented the studio. My range of motion is still great and as my instructor/friend Holladay once said, “You may not have a boyfriend now, but I’ll make you flexible enough to make people think you do!” Indeed she did.

Although I would be the first in admitting I still have many hurdles to get over before becoming fully happy with myself, taking classes at that studio and meeting some great people along the way has helped in removing many of those obstacles out of the way.

The Portland-based band, The Ravishers, recently released a video for their song, “Underachievers,” which includes scenes filmed at my favorite studio. One of my teachers, who I also count as one of my friends, is shown in studio scenes, too.

 

So long Primal Beginnings, and thank you for all you’ve done.

Weekend Box Office: Hopped Up on Victory

Well, good for hopping bunnies! You would think the Crasstalk community had something to do with the success of a movie about one of our favorite animals, but a las no, it was all that scraggly-haired simpleton and his gyrating pants, mostly. Bummer. We’re not rewarded for anything, unless you also saw Gyllenhaal get all leapish this weekend, or something about possessed kids in houses of doom, and then, well, all you probably got was a ticket stub and something stuck to your shoe.

Let’s see if it was worth it. Continue reading

Behind the Scenes of Top Chef: Just Desserts with Chef Erika Davis

This March, Top Chef: Just Desserts‘ Erika Davis led a dessert demonstration for those interested in making the perfect mousse. Today, Erika is the Executive Pastry Chef at the Ponte Vedra Inn and Club and the Ambassador for Callebaut Chocolate. In addition to teaching us how to make a trio of chocolate desserts, she was kind enough to answer questions from the audience about her background, her experience on the Bravo show, and her advice for Season 2 contestants.

Cookie Dough and Kosher Cooking

Erika has been baking since she was knee-high and began decorating cakes when she was 12. She was, of course, a big fan of the Easy Bake Oven – multiple Easy Bake Ovens. “I would blow that joker up just so I could get a new one every Christmas,” she says. She even sold cookies and cakes to her teachers in elementary school. Her chocolate chip walnut cookie, one of the cookies she used to hock to her teachers, was part of the winning team during the bake sale competition on Top Chef: Just Desserts. (Remember Team Pep Squad vs. Team Glee Club?) You can buy the cookie dough that helped crush the glee club like a chocolatey delicious Sue Sylvester at The Ultimate Cooke Dough Company.

After graduating community college for culinary school, Erika got her professional start at several kosher bakeries and restaurants in the Detroit area. Her tip for making a moist parve (non-dairy) cake? Soak it in simple syrup (water and sugar).

Pre-Heat the Oven: The Top Chef Interview Process

When producers called Erika to ask her to apply to the show, she asked if she was being punked. After recomposing herself, Erika gave them her contact information so they could send her the 28-page application. She also had to send them a video demo of her doing something in the kitchen. Next, she was flown to LA for a two-day lock-in in a hotel where participants were only allowed to leave if a show rep came to get them. They were given psych evaluations (a question I’m sure many people have had after watching some Bravo shows). In fact, they met with 3-4 different therapists. According to Erika, the therapists would say “this is who you are and this is your personality” – and totally nail it. Finally, the potential contestants would meet with a couple producers who would decide who moved on to the show.

The Top Chef Challenge

The contestants stayed in LA for 32 days – whether or not they were eliminated early on. When they arrived, they were put in a hotel room and all recipes and personal items were taken and put in a Ziploc bag. Erika thought, “I’ve just been stripped naked!’ because everything that is personal to you is gone.” As a pastry chef, cooking without recipes would also be a major challenge.

The show took care of the contestants the entire time they were there. Erika notes that the downtown LA loft they were put in was not glamorous like the facilities seen on regular Top Chef. Because it was the first season of Just Desserts, they did not have a major sponsor like Whole Foods since no one knew how the show would turn out. Surprisingly, the cooking show contestants weren’t fed the most delectable of culinary cuisine – Erika soon grew sick of grilled chicken and Caesar salad. The schedule was grueling. It isn’t movie magic – The first quickfire really did take place their first day there. The episode where they were challenged to create a chocolate outfit was a 20-hour day. They started around 10:00 pm, worked into the morning, went to bed around 7:00 am, and woke up for the main event at 11:00 am. Once a contestant was eliminated, he didn’t get to go home; he was put up someplace else for the remaining time and worked on voiceovers.

Simmer Down Now

Unsurprisingly, competing on the reality show came with a certain level of stress.

Says Erika:

There was no break [in the competitions], and they do that to see what you can take on stress and see if you’re worthy. . . You gotta be tough. After a while, it’s like, ‘do I wanna be here?’ You start second guessing yourself. Is it worth it? But it was completely worth it because it just showed how strong you were. And it couldn’t have been harder than us just busting our tail in the kitchen at work, but it was constant without proper sleep. You don’t get to sleep in your own bed, you don’t get to see your family. They take everything away from you that’s your comfort, no bible, no books for reading, no computer, no nothing. All you have is yourself and the people you have in the house.

Her way of dealing with the drama? “I stood back and let everybody clown.”

Advice for Season 2

Bravo recently announced that Season 2 of Top Chef: Just Desserts is being cast now.

Erika’s advice for the next batch of contestants?

Be true to yourself. Believe in yourself with your flavors and your talent, and [say] a nice prayer with your family before you go, and know that you have a support group. For me, I was going against myself; I wasn’t going against Seth or Danielle or Morgan. . . I had my own little war, and if you watch the show, you will see everyone had their own little war, but that’s what made the show, that’s what made each character their own personality. Be yourself and know that you are worthy of being on there or else they wouldn’t have put you on there.

Chocolate Chips Pic

Puppy Mills to Pet Stores: Part 2

In part 1 of this series, we talked about the conditions in a puppy mill. From a puppy mill, the young dogs go to pet stores. The conditions don’t get any better once they leave the mill. In Part 2, we’ll talk about what these dogs continue to suffer through, and why, under no circumstances, should you ever buy a dog from a pet store.

Pet store conditions

Ultimately, a pet store environment is really no better than that of the puppy mill. These dogs are first transported to the store in just about anything short of a rickshaw. No thought is given to temperature or sanitation en route to the store, and many go long, long ways. Some puppies don’t make the trip and die of dehydration, disease or hypo/hyperthermia along the way.

Assuming they get there alive, they’re then put in cages not unlike the ones they came from: wire on the bottom to make cleaning easier (and getting comfortable harder), too many dogs in one cage, and a lack of bedding or toys that provide crucial solace and enrichment (at a developmental stage that desperately needs these things). Pet store employees may mean well, but they’re often untrained in basic animal care and certainly lack any sort of knowledge of veterinary medicine.

They may not even have the opportunity to play or cuddle with the dogs unless they are taking them out for a prospective buyer. In fact, that’s not part of their job. They are retail workers, not animal professionals. So the care these dogs get is often palliative at best, and enough to keep them alive and appearing healthy, not enough to help them grow into physically and socially healthy animals.

Pet store diseases

Without exception (seriously, it’s very close to 100%, in my anecdotal experience), these dogs are sick. It starts at the puppy mill, but the stress and added pathogen exposure of a pet store, stocked with many other animals of other species and housed with dogs from other litters, combined with poor sanitation practices on the part of the workers means these dogs are sick at the store and will be sick when you take them home.

They don’t always look sick, though, especially to the untrained eye. Pet store animals are often dosed regularly with antibiotics or other medications that mask the symptoms of serious problems. A dog with diarrhea? You’ll rarely see one at the store, but when you take little Chanel home, you’ll be cleaning it up hourly. Why? The dogs are dosed with metronidazole, an anti-diarrheal and antibiotic that will typically not “treat” the underlying causes of loose stool in puppies, usually worms or poor nutrition, but sometimes something much more serious.

Vaccinations? Good luck. These dogs may have gotten an initial distemper-combo vaccination (typically a DHLPP), but at that age the vaccinations need to be administered every two weeks, and any shots given before six weeks are completely useless, because the animal has not yet developed the immune function to manufacture the appropriate antibodies. In addition, since they were likely taken from the bitch before they were fully weaned, they do not have the advantage of some of the basic immunities they acquire from her milk.

Again, they may have recieved a dewormer like pyrantel pamoate, but this needs to be administered biweekly as well, doesn’t eradicate all common parasites in puppies, and isn’t as effective without a fecal exam to ensure the dog is worm-free.

Kennel cough,” or bordatella, an upper respiratory infection, is rampant. There is a vaccination for this, but it is rarely given in a pet store and is only marginally effective even in adults with a fully functioning immune system. Many more serious illnesses can be mistaken for kennel cough, as well. Treatment requires at least 7-10 days of antibiotics, and can worsen into pneumonia if neglected.

The most serious of all these problems: Parvovirus. Adult dogs, even unvaccinated ones, typically have a strong enough immune system to avoid this deadly disease. But puppies are very much at risk. Parvo can live outside a host for up to five months, and can only be killed on surfaces with very stringent sanitation and disinfectant protocols. The incubation period for the virus can be up to 14 days, which means that a “healthy” puppy can be in its home for quite a while before showing signs of the disease.

Symptoms are typically lethargy, vomiting and diarrhea (there is a particular smell and appearance to the stool that signifies parvo); if untreated, parvo has an 80% fatality rate. Furthermore, there is no “cure” for it; care is supportive and often requires round-the-clock IV fluids and attention until it has run its course. Unfortunately, many buyers do not realize what is wrong until it’s too late, and the cost of treatment is usually relatively high. Pet store puppies are the highest-risk group of all because of poor standards of care and lack of sanitation in the store.

The “AKC registered” myth

With all the recent attention paid to the puppy mill problem, pet stores have changed their marketing and labeling to mislead a potential buyer into thinking their dog is not from a puppy mill. The most common way they do this is by guaranteeing that the dog is American Kennel Club registered; i.e., from purebred lines. Sadly, the AKC is not in the business of ensuring that their registered dogs are anything but purebred. The AKC makes money from each dog registered with them, and a dog with “papers” does not mean anything. Many people are fooled into thinking the AKC stamp is some kind of “guarantee” or certification; it’s not. The dog may still have many, many problems.

The most important problem with the “purebred” myth: it does not guarantee a lack of congenital defects. Responsible breeders screen both their breeding stock and their offspring for potential problems such as hip dysplasia, luxating patellas, bleeding disorders and eye problems. Some breeds are more prone to these issues than others, and responsible breeders will certify with the OFA (Orthopedic Foundation for Animals) or CERF (Canine Eye Registry Foundation), in addition to providing proof that a dog is Von Willebrand’s or mitral-valve defect-free in their lineage. Very rarely is this the case with a pet store dog.

In addition, pet stores often carry “white” or other “exotic” animals, like pygmies. These pets are often the product of severe inbreeding or mutated animals. In some cases, the genes that produce them cause a host of medical and temperamental issues, and these dogs are considered inhumane “aberrations” in a gene pool. The best example of this is the albino or “Z factor” Doberman, all of whom are descended from a mother and son that were bred together to create a small line of badly damaged dogs. Buying one of these dogs is endorsing the very worst kind of eugenics.

Other misleading terms

Pet stores will often use the terms “rescue” or “adopt” when talking about their animals. Do not be fooled. Large chains like PetSmart and PetCo will often keep animals from reputable shelters and rescues in their stores, but they are not “for sale” and you will easily be able to find out what shelter they are from. Older dogs billed as “rescues” may be returns or breeding stock that have outlasted their usefulness. Every dog in a pet store is from a “private breeder”; this is just a term. A refrigerator can be a GE or a Sub-Zero, but they’re different, and all puppy mills are technically private breeders in that they are not a “company” making puppies in a factory.

Adopting and buying are not synonymous. If you are asked to pay any more than a couple hundred dollars (and you should easily be able to find out what that “adoption fee” goes toward), you aren’t adopting. If the pet isn’t spayed or neutered (and they can be as early as 6-8 weeks), and you’re not required to pay a deposit or sign a spay/neuter agreement, you’re not adopting.

The end result of getting a pet store dog

Once you get that dog home, you are virtually guaranteed to have housebreaking and training problems. Cash in your 401k for the vet bills. And, from a moral standpoint, the two thousand dollars that dog cost went right into the pocket of a puppy mill breeder to continue the cycle. No matter how good your intentions, do not buy a dog from a pet store. “Rescuing” that one little puppy from hell sadly endorses the practice.

So what now? In Part Three, I’ll discuss what we can do, from a practical and a legislative standpoint, to stop puppy mills from operating. We’ll talk about the USDA and what they do and don’t do to regulate the sale of dogs, as well as how to distinguish a reputable breeder from a puppy mill.

 

Question of the Day: What’s Your Favorite Pork Product?

Welcome to the Crasstalk Question of the Day. We’re going to do a daily post where we ask you a different question each day and you the Crass Nation provide an answer. Particularly good answers may even be featured in future QOTDs.

So it’s Monday Morning and you’re probably sitting in your cubicle dreaming of a hot plate teeming with scrum-diddly-umcious breakfast foods like bacon and Canadian bacon and sausage (and Canadian sausage?).

What’s your favorite pork product?

There are so many great ones to choose from, because even though pigs are widely considered among the most intelligent of domesticated animals, they are not smart enough to not make themselves so delicious. For this one I want to immediately go with bacon. Everyone loves wrapping things/themselves in bacon and going to town on the wonderful strips of salty pig-grease. Another wonderful choice is Chinese-style pork buns (pictured at top from Momofuku).

But personally after about three strips of bacon I can take no more. That’s where my choice, prosciutto, comes in.

First of all, I can probably eat a full three pounds of prosciutto in one sitting. It’s so THIN. Plus when you eat prosciutto, you can practically envision a mustache-and-overalls-wearing Italian named Luigi cutting  the pig up and serving it. It’s PURE PORKTASTIC DELICIOUSNESS, people.

Mike Huckabee Would Like Us All at Gunpoint

Mike Huckabee is the former Governor of Arkansas, currently hosts a political commentary show on Fox, and is quite likely our next Republican candidate for president. He has the political chops — he has held elected positions dating back to high school. He’s educated and well-spoken. He’s no stranger to the way the political machine works. He’s also a proud member of the extreme Christian right and believes that you should be, too.

He recently spoke at a Rediscover God in America conference held in Iowa. This series features several speakers expected to run for the nomination; Michele “I *heart* McCarthy” Bachmann, Newt “I just call my current wife by her number” Gingrich, and Haley “The KKK was just a social club” Barbour.

Then there is David Barton, a minister who makes up quotes* and attributes them to the Founding Fathers to support his claim that the US was intended to be a Christian nation. He believes that America should be a Theocracy and that all Americans should be Christians. I don’t think I have to explain why this is a bad thing.

Mike Huckabee is a fan.

After being introduced by Barton, Huckabee’s opening remarks included the statement, “I wish that every single young person in America would be able to be under his tutelage and understand something about who we really are as a nation. I almost wish that there would be like a simultaneous telecast and all Americans would be forced –forced! – at gunpoint no less, to listen to every David Barton message, and I think our country would be better for it. I wish it would happen.”

I wish I could believe that this is simply McCain-esque pandering to the Christianists, but Huckabee is the real deal. The tagline on Mike Huckabee’s website is “Life. Liberty. The Pursuit of Happiness.” He would be happy to add “Except Where Prohibited by Law The Bible”.

*Barton keeps track of his “unconfirmed” quotes for us.