45 posts

I Think xoJane Gave Me Ringworm

If there’s anything I love more than uninformed veterinary advice and xoJane, it’s uninformed veterinary advice on xoJane. In “I Think My Dog Gave Me Ringworm,” Helena Andrews thinks her dog gave her…no, actually, she imagines her ringworm-infected dog could possibly give it to her. I’m serious: “I now believe my eczema is ringworm because my vet said so — sorta.” Oh boy. Anyway, this post, and the comments, are a goldmine of bullshit advice. Continue reading

The Crasstalk Halloween Pet Costume Contest

It’s Halloween and for pet-owners, that sometimes means dressing up your little creature like a different little creature. My very first Halloween with Macho, my chihuahua, I took him around the block and told kids that asked where his costume was that he was actually a German Shepard dressed up as a chihuahua.

Last year, I dressed him up as a pumpkin and I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me.

This year he’s rockin’ a wizard hat and cape. He hates it like fire.

But the question, dear Crasstalkers and fellow-pet-antagonizers, is what are your pets going to be for Halloween? And to answer that question, let me introduce the very first Crasstalk Halloween Pet Costume Contest. The prize will be glory and internet fame. Continue reading

Dog Halloween Costumes Are Serious Business

This is my niece, Rosie. She is a St. Bernard. She is wearing a monkey costume.

You see, there is a Halloween costume contest at her day care.  Yes, doggy day care.  And my sister wants to win this year.   I said it seems kind of silly to put all this time and effort into dressing up dogs. You don’t understand, she said. This is doggy day care. This is cutthroat.

Last year, Rosie was a ladybug. And she didn’t win. My sister says one lady cheated last year by promoting her ‘fucking cocker spaniel’ on her personal Facebook page and directing people to the website of the doggy day car to vote for her ‘ugly fucking cocker spaniel’. My sister considers this cheating, because her St. Bernards are way cuter than ‘that fucking piece of shit spoiled cocker spaniel.’ Continue reading

A Daytrip to New York’s Fishkill Farms

New York City has pretty much everything a modern consumer could possibly want, and you can get almost all of delivered right to your apartment. However, you can’t get everything in the city. Fresh air, quiet, and nature are in short supply. Fortunately, you can get all of those things, plus delicious fruit and gorgeous produce only an hour and a half from New York City at Fishkill Farms in East Fishkill. Continue reading