This is absolutely shocking. No. This is just what you expected when the trailer for Jack & Jill first murdered your eyeballs. You anticipated that Adam Sandler’s new movie in which he plays a dual role — the other noxious character — Sandler with lady-boobs and a wig stolen from Benny Hill’s closet circa 1978 — would suck butt.
But someone actually has to track these things, so let’s find out just how bad it actually is.
Oh, crap. No, wait…yay! Urmph. Such conflict. On one hand he’s an Oscar testament. Seriously, if there were a tabernacle built on the undulating viscera that is the Oscar Stage where many have fallen on a sword of awful jokes, rambunctious dance numbers, a whole oven full of pot brownies, and the lovemaking of Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin — that tabernacle would be Billy Crystal. The bad part of this is we’re kinda afraid of Billy telling jokes that were last funny in 1992. Something about pecan pie and white men’s overbites. Sheesh. This could be awful.
Well, do you have tickets for the November 18th opening night of the next installment of the Twilight Saga, Twilight: Breaking Dawn or as I refer to it lovingly, reverently, and comically — Twilight: Pulsing Uteri? No? You better hurry up! Tickets are selling like mad. Mad I tell you! Mad like a shruggy virgin about to have the sparkle sex for the first time with a bed-crushing, star-dusted vampire nebulous, and then give birth to the world’s first twinkle fetus!
It. Will. Be. Glorious.
Unnerving, brutal and relentless are hardly words most people would use to describe sex. All of them apply to Steve McQueen’s new film Shame, but then, despite what you may have heard, the film isn’t actually about sex; it’s about addiction.
Sex happens to be the protagonist’s self-medicator of choice, Continue reading
Yes, she’s been nominated sixteen times and won twice but that means she is fourteen times a loser. However, there are a few things that might be the cause of her twenty-eight year drought. Maybe other nominated performances are better than hers? Maybe politics gets in the way? Or MAYBE her performances just aren’t that good? Continue reading
Deadline reports that Jennifer Saunders hopes to begin penning the script soon. Pic via
Last night before bed I realized the 21 Jump Street trailer had debuted. Before I clicked on it, I had the fleeting thought of, “Well, maybe this thing won’t be so bad. Perhaps it’ll be funny and smart! Maybe it’ll be new but still nostalgic.” That’s crazy lady thinking, right? Yes, absolutely.
Ben and Matt are wiseguys yet again. Plagues could beat zombies in a fight. Elvis liked drugs so much he wanted to arrest them. Huh? Sherlock and Watson always and forever. Milla Jovovich has a thought, Chachi is a dad, NBC unsurprises, and Eddie Murphy won’t wear his dancing shoes for you!
Today’s Hollywood news wants you to be a team player.
Martha Marcy May Marlene and Jeff, Who Lives At Home are two films that take a look at the people in their twenties and early thirties who haven’t quite found themselves. No, they aren’t hippies but the characters are definitely people that go through life in a way that society doesn’t always agree with.
Frankly, we would have preferred Pigs From Space, but that’s not in the cards; Zombies to take over all of teevee; Droids at the breakfast table, now that’s progress; Nic Cage strikes again! But this time we could possibly like it. Protest corporations not Batmobiles…and much, much, more!
Today’s Hollywood Caller is bursting at the seams! Continue reading