Biz Monkie

293 posts
Boisterous laugh, great smile, serial killer eyes. "the Confucius of Central Indiana" - Botswana Meat Commission - Follow me on twitter: @monkeybiziu

S.E. Cupp Thinks Millennials Are Conservative and Is Wrong

An article from the New York Daily News’ S.E. Cupp, titled “The rise of Republican millennials”, came across my desk recently. I’ve always operated under the assumption that my generation was overwhelmingly liberal, and that conservative millennials were few and far between. While this may be true today in terms of party orientation, Ms. Cupp approached the question from a different angle: is the millennial generation actually conservative, in terms of personality rather than politics?

As a millennial, I decided to weigh in on Ms. Cupp’s hypothesis, and see if she’s right.

Spoiler Alert! She’s not. Continue reading →

What the House GOP Is Going to Do on Their Summer Vacation

As everyone knows, the first thing everyone does after taking a summer vacation and returning to school or work is talk about it with everyone else, either voluntarily or not.

The House GOP is no different. Fortunately for us, prior to their August recess the House GOP leadership has provided all of its members with an exceptionally detailed guide on what to tell their constituents when asked pesky questions. Continue reading →

Alan Keyes Proposes Impeachment by Bucket Brigade

Every so often, something so stupid comes along that you can’t imagine how the author manages to tie their shoes or put on pants, and yet is seemingly well credentialed. Alan Keyes has provided us with such a cache, and I consider it my duty to build a rhetorical Yucca Mountain on top of it to ensure that this kind of weapons-grade stupid is never allowed to fall into the wrong hands. Continue reading →

Suzanne Venker Thinks Men are “The New Second Class Citizens,” Is An Idiot

While wandering around on the internet yesterday, I came across an article by Suzanne Venker on FoxNews, via Gin and Tacos. The title of the article was “Men – The New Second Class Citizens”.

Mother of God. This calls for an FJM, to ensure that this stupidity is exposed and deconstructed before it spreads. Continue reading →

Why is Hollywood trying to kill Pacific Rim?

I originally wrote a draft of this piece about a week ago, before the first round of reviews of Guillermo del Toro’s Monsters Vs. Robots epic, Pacific Rim, hit the internet. I scrapped it because after the very positive reviews hit, I figured that Pacific Rim was back on track for a monster opening weekend.

Instead, I came across another hit piece from Variety pegging Pacific Rim for a lackluster opening, underperforming against Grown-Ups 2.

So, I decided to resurrect the premise and ask: why is Hollywood trying to kill Pacific Rim? Continue reading →

Singlism Is Real and I Have Experienced it

I am single. In fact, I’ve been single my entire professional career. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered that being discriminated against for being single in the professional world has a name, and some academic backing: singlism.

Some will say it’s a myth, that it’s just another symptom of a generation of workers that feels entitled to everything. I know better, because I’ve experienced it first-hand. Continue reading →

Paula Deen’s Supporters Take to Food Network’s Facebook Page; Hilarity Ensues

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For those of you living under a rock for the last 72 hours or so, you may be unaware that the Food Network has fired Paula Deen for admitting during a deposition to making racist and anti-Semetic jokes, using the N-word, and planning an Antebellum Southern Plantation-style wedding.

Paula Deen has many fans, and they have taken to Food Network’s Facebook page to protest Paula’s firing. Their comments are hilariously awful. These are their stories. Continue reading →

How to Build an MMO in the Free-To-Play Era

For those of you that follow MMORPGs, you’ve probably noticed that the big trend among new games is the free-to-play model. For those of you that have actually played some of these games, you’ve probably noticed that free-to-play either becomes pay-to-play or pay-to-win pretty quickly. Although many developers are gamers themselves, they are also attempting to create a profitable product, and when those two instincts collide the business side inevitably wins. This creates friction with their user bases, and if left unresolved inevitably leads to the game failing.

I recently started playing Marvel Heroes, an MMO based in the Marvel universe, which uses a League of Legends-style Heroes system. The launch has not exactly been smooth, to say the least. So, speaking as a both a gamer, with insider knowledge of gamer psychology, as well as someone with a business background, I’m hoping to bridge the gap and explain how it’s possible to create a Free-To-Play game that convinces the gamer to spend money and make the game profitable. Continue reading →