As everyone knows, the first thing everyone does after taking a summer vacation and returning to school or work is talk about it with everyone else, either voluntarily or not.
The House GOP is no different. Fortunately for us, prior to their August recess the House GOP leadership has provided all of its members with an exceptionally detailed guide on what to tell their constituents when asked pesky questions.
Let’s set the stage. The House GOP has been told, repeatedly, by everyone with any shred of political knowledge, that the future of the GOP is in grave doubt due to their refusal to moderate or compromise. They’re facing a demographic disaster the likes of which has never been seen in this country, which threatens to render the entirety of their base of old white people electorally irrelevant. They’ve been successfully branded as racists, homophobes, xenophobes, misogynists, and generally intolerant to anyone that isn’t a rich straight white Christian man. So, how does the House GOP go home to their constituencies and explain their actions?
They’re calling it “Fighting Washington For All Americans”.
Of course, the party that has spent the last fifty years insisting that government doesn’t work, then going to Washington to prove it, would decide that the best course of action is to tell Americans that they’re in Washington to fight Washington, and bank on the fact that most Americans don’t recognize the logical fallacy at work.
The thirty one page document is comprised of helpful hints that representatives can use to theoretically bolster their support for re-election in 2014. Let’s take a look at some of the GOP Leadership’s team is suggesting.
First up, write an op-ed, suggesting that the representative is in Washington to fight Washington, and that “[f]ighting Washington isn’t about creating more partisan gridlock, heated rhetoric, or Republicans versus Democrats.”, but rather “spur[ing] economic growth and creating more jobs”, “hold[ing] government accountable to taxpayers” and, of course “dismantl[ing] ObamaCare”.
Let’s take a moment to reflect three things the House GOP has actually done this year, and three things they haven’t. If you answered “created more partisan gridlock, engaged in heated rhetoric, and refused to compromise or negotiate with any Democrats” in the first category, and “spurred economic growth and created more jobs, held government accountable to taxpayers, and dismantled ObamaCare” in the second, please give yourself a gold star.
Moving on, the GOP is suggesting that representatives meet with the poor, unfairly targeted 501(c)3 and 501(c)4 groups that were “unfairly” targeted by the IRS. Nevermind the fact that that claim has been entirely debunked; the IRS targeted every 501(c)3 and 4 group, regardless of political affiliation. The House GOP wants its constituency to feel sufficiently persecuted.
The GOP Leadership also recommends hosting a “meetup”, “to ensure that the Member is engaging with all demographics in his/her district to discuss important issues facing America.” They suggesting inviting women, Asian-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, and millennials. Please note that they did not recommend inviting African-Americans or members of the LGBT community. I’m not saying it’s intentional, but it’s a little suspicious, don’t you think?
What’s most fascinating about the meetup is in the Tips section, in which the guide recommends “Invite at least 3-4 people with whom the Member already has an established relationship. This will strengthen the conversation and take it in a direction that is most beneficial to the Member’s goal.”
I’d like to turn the floor over to the honorable Senator Vreenak of Romulus, who has some thoughts on the matter.
Thank you, Senator Vreenak.
Something I found rather interesting is that throughout the packet, the GOP Leadership is heavily encouraging the use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter. For whatever reason, they really seem to be attempting to get people to embrace Vine. Maybe it’s just me, but if you can adequately sum up your position on any of the complicated issues facing America today in six seconds or less, I would be extremely concerned.
I could go on, but after perusing all thirty one pages of this dreck, it’s pretty obvious what the GOP’s gameplan is. They have no policies, no alternatives, nothing to really bring to the legislative table, so they’re going to go home and tell their constituents that they’re fighting the good fight in Washington, repealing ObamaCare for the 38th time, passing no legislation whatsoever, and turning even the most routine government processes into high noon at the OK Corral.
Now, were the GOP in a sporting kind of mood, they could talk about what’s coming around the bend. The could talk about the devastating impact the sequester has had on their constituents. They could talk about immigration reform. They could talk about their plan to hold the country hostage, again, over the debt ceiling. They won’t do that.
The fundamental truth here is that when the modern GOP opens its mouth, it loses. They’ve fallen out of the American mainstream on virtually every issue of importance, and are only electorally relevant due to gerrymandering in the extreme. Consequently, the last thing the House GOP leadership wants to do is have one of its wacky members start ad-libbing on some issue of national importance in front of the press and suddenly every GOP representative has to have answer for it. Steve King’s schtick may work in Nowhere, Iowa, but it’ll get a representative in a suburban or urban district whacked.
So, what we’re left with is a bunch of noise. Hot air, empty promises, and shallow policy that amounts to little more than undoing the last century of American progress.
But hey, at least some of them can bring back some seashells.
