Pets

46 posts

How to Avoid Being Killed by a Hippo

This is NOT a man and a hippo doing a reenactment of a cartoon chase. It's an experienced park ranger, who narrowly avoided getting killed by the hippo by sprinting over a hundred yards.

Hippopotamuses are adorably pudgy, strict herbivores and kill more humans than any other African animal.  You cannot outrun them; they’ve been clocked at 30-40km/h (19-25mph). You cannot outswim them; on average, hippos can swim 8 km/h (5 mph). And, you certainly cannot fend them off; the average weight of an adult female is 2,900–3,300 lbs., a male 3,300–4,000 lbs., and older males can reach 7,100—9,900 lbs. (Eltringham, 1999).  Yo hippo’s SO FAT not even Dora could explore her. Need I mention that the bite force of an adult female hippo is 1,821 lbsf (Barr, 2008)?  Continue reading →

The Ballad of the Cat Man

You’ve seen me before. Maybe it’s in Petco, checking out a cat climbing tower or deciding between bags of catnip like they’re fine steaks. Maybe it’s in Target or Wal-Mart, with a 20 pound bag of catfood on one shoulder and a big bucket of kitty litter in the other. Maybe it’s in the office, where every article of clothing I own seems to have cat hair on it. You probably think to yourself, “Wow, he’s such a dedicated boyfriend/husband to be taking care of his girlfriend’s/wife’s cat like that.”

Well, you’d be wrong. I don’t have a girlfriend or a wife. The little furball I buy cat stuff for is all mine.

I am a Cat Man. Continue reading →

Petco Does Not Take Customer Service Seriously

One week ago, I went to get freeze-dried liver and ended up with a bee in my bonnet. I was in Petco and what I saw – an employee doing in the guise of training – was a problem. What has happened since; namely, NOTHING, is the bigger problem.

Before I get into my beef with Petco, here’s my thing about customer service: It can be challenging. It’s often totally annoying. People are cray-cray. In one fashion or another, I’ve worked in customer service my whole life. I worked in restaurants from age 14 to…well, too long. But I had to kiss ass and solve problems that ranged from the trivial to the mundane to the crazy to the serious. Much to my dismay, I took that  experience into animal shelter work. I totally wondered at my first animal shelter interview why my future boss quizzed me on how I’d handle “difficult people.” Continue reading →

Eulogy for a Friend

It was a year ago I met Steve. We had just gotten our house and were moving a few things over when he came calling. Quick as a hare, he always seemed to have places to go. I made him my squire immediately though he was more than that. My backyard was his kingdom and he was to be a loyal and brave companion for a year. Steve was a snake you see. Sir Stephen Esquire, Snake of the Highgarden. Continue reading →

The Taming of the Parakeet

Last week, I commented in the open thread about a cheeky little Green-cheeked Parakeet for sale at my work. I’ve nick named him George because of his incessant curiosity (if you don’t who Curious George is that means you are really young and must get off my lawn immediately).  Before jumping in to his latest progress, I’ll provide a bit of background:

Green-cheeked Parakeets (or Conures) are commonly known as companion birds. They live just as long as a larger parrot (up to 25 years), but are smaller in size and much, MUCH less noisy. As a result of their quiet nature and soft voices, they cannot learn many words, but it is possible. Often described as the “little bird with big personality,” Green-Cheeked Parakeets are playful, intelligent, curious, and incredibly affectionate. Continue reading →

A Memorial for Eleanor

The apartment felt like a box, an old shoebox shoved under a bed and forgotten.

It was in a house that back in the day must have been a showpiece, long ago when the Merrimack River powered the mills that employed thousands, and when the mill owners lived on the hills, like this one, looking down on their anthills. Lawrence, Massachusetts, was never an easy town. It was always a city of blue collars and dive bars and shady, desperate characters. But now the mills were closed, the river was choked with pollution, and Lawrence was known as the arson capitol of the nation. Continue reading →

What Your Pet’s Name Actually Says About You

Your pets. They have names. If yours do not, name them immediately, because it’s really demoralizing not to have one. There’s a lot of armchair analysis of what your pets’ names say about you out there; in fact, Jezebel had an article on this topic just a couple days ago.

It made me think: Who are you to speculate on what pets’ names mean? Being “an unmarried lady who is heading full steam ahead toward age 30” as our intrepid Jez author is, doesn’t convince me of your bona fides. More to the point, the article itself really cemented my snap judgement of said qualifications.

Continue reading →

Last-Minute Tips for Your Pet on the Fourth

Ok, so, hopefully for those on the East Coast, you’ve already had a few beers (and a few burgers), but right now the majority of the fireworks (both professional and amateur) are still a few hours away.

You’re ready, but are your pets? Shelters see a drastic uptick in strays on this day because so many dogs and cats are scared of fireworks — not to mention that having all your nieces and nephews going in and out of your house can mean that Brisket is down the block before you know he’s been let out…or that he’s already consumed half of someone’s vodka lemonade.

Keep them out of harm’s way! Here are some basic safety tips. Here are some tips specifically to keep them calm(er) during fireworks; and here are a few more. It’s too late in the game to get prescription sedatives or some of the recommendations, but most big box pet stores are still open, and if it’s imperative, you can pick up a Thundershirt or some Rescue Remedy. Make sure they’re wearing their collars and tags, too!

If your pet eats something it shouldn’t, click here for my handy guide to pet poisoning. And a final note: if your dog or cat gets loose, notify your neighbors and the police right away. If you find out tonight that he’s in a shelter, don’t scream or throw a tantrum– no amount of emotional fireworks will get your pet sprung before open of business tomorrow. Just be happy that they’re safe and secure.

Happy 4th to you and your pets!