Your pets. They have names. If yours do not, name them immediately, because it’s really demoralizing not to have one. There’s a lot of armchair analysis of what your pets’ names say about you out there; in fact, Jezebel had an article on this topic just a couple days ago.
It made me think: Who are you to speculate on what pets’ names mean? Being “an unmarried lady who is heading full steam ahead toward age 30” as our intrepid Jez author is, doesn’t convince me of your bona fides. More to the point, the article itself really cemented my snap judgement of said qualifications.