
Hippopotamuses are adorably pudgy, strict herbivores and kill more humans than any other African animal. You cannot outrun them; they’ve been clocked at 30-40km/h (19-25mph). You cannot outswim them; on average, hippos can swim 8 km/h (5 mph). And, you certainly cannot fend them off; the average weight of an adult female is 2,900–3,300 lbs., a male 3,300–4,000 lbs., and older males can reach 7,100—9,900 lbs. (Eltringham, 1999). Yo hippo’s SO FAT not even Dora could explore her. Need I mention that the bite force of an adult female hippo is 1,821 lbsf (Barr, 2008)? Continue reading