Tom Colicchio once said something along the lines of “We have blind spots when it comes to our childhood comfort foods.” This is so true. I didn’t realize this until I was first living with my husband. I had some free time and I decided to whip up dinner for the two of us. It was a cold, cloudy day so, naturally, I wanted to make something hearty and comforting. So, I turned to a childhood recipe and proudly served the results to him when he got home from work. Continue reading
bbqcornnuts
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Brad Pitt is doing press tours again and once more, I am reminded of how much I dislike him. I was never a big fan. I know he technically meets all the hotness criteria but he just doesn’t seem very bright. However, I didn’t actively loathe him until he started his public tour of smugness with Angelina Jolie. Brad and Angelina were clearly born on third base yet, they both seem convinced they hit a triple. Continue reading
Smugness is a key tool in modern parenting. You can’t be any kind of effective parent if you don’t feel morally superior to the parents around you. The good news is that through the right methodologies, you can increase your smugness “account balance”. There’s no need to settle for off-the-cuff parenting when you can lord your superior decisions over other parents.
Your smugness score is based on many factors. Here are some point guidelines. The higher your score, the better your standing among the Smug Parents of the world. Be careful! You can easily lose points by making bad decisions. Continue reading
My husband woke me up and told me this story. I asked “Is that an urban legend?”
“No” he replied. “It’s Arkansas”.
In an eerie scene that reads like a cross between “The Hangover” and “Deliverance”, Brett Cummins, a television meteorologist got himself in some hot water. He had to chat with police on Monday after he woke up in an empty bath tub with a dead man who was wearing a dog collar. When Cummins woke up, he ran screaming out of the bathroom and threw up on the carpet. A witness, who lives in the house, said he, Cummins and the dead man had partied and used drugs the night before. Cummins has been released.
This is the inevitable result of mixing Hillbilly Handfishing and Meth. When questioned about the relationship by police, Cummins said “He’s got a pretty mouth.” Comment.
One thing that fascinates me about the natural birth movement is that issue that must not be spoken of. I know that you know what I’m talking about because it’s the very first thing you think of when you or your partner considers giving birth. Continue reading
This is a little something I wrote when I was potty-training my son. I was re-reading it because I need to start training my daughter. I figure there are at least a trillion potty-training nightmare stories out there, so I though I’d share mine in hopes that you would share yours. Continue reading
I promised to compile the results of the bad song contest last week. I apologize, but someone with bad judgment actually paid me to write some stuff. Sorry for the delay. Continue reading
Children are constantly in the process of learning. They need to ask “Why?” to learn things. However, sometimes, a child can “Why?” you until you completely lose your patience and end up on the floor weeping because you simply cannot answer any more questions. Continue reading
I am officially starting The Crasstalk Bad Song Contest. I got this idea from Jerrod’s Awful Songs column. I was also inspired by Dave Barry’s classic “Bad Song” column (yes, I know this makes me an old). This feature generated more mail than anything he ever did To quote “Americans care about song badness.” It’s been about 20 years since the original column. The entertainment world has gifted us with so much bad music during those two decades. It’s time to revisit the contest.
This is a true story. Once upon a time, I bought my first condominium. On moving day, when I drove the rented U-Haul with a raised top into the condo parking lot, I knocked a balcony off the side of the building. THANK GOD no one was hurt. I soon learned that I filled out the forms correctly and unintentionally purchased accident insurance. So, the total cost of the accident for me was under $100. However, everyone in my new building knew who I was. Continue reading