Daily Archives: April 17, 2011

9 posts

New Movie Trailers: Spies and a Little Monkey Business

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

James Franco is all grown up now and helming his own movies. No more stoner sidekick roles for him, right? Who are we kidding. Anyway, in this prequel to Funky Wahlberg’s 2001 Planet of the Apes effort, which basically resulted in a critics poo-throwing contest, here we are again trying to figure out how the world was overrun with primates.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_gKq200EBk&feature=player_embedded

Franco, looking quite the studious scientist, manages to exude the dynamically subtle nuances most attributed to plywood. I’m not getting the urgency, Franco. Murderous apes are afoot! When Matthew Broderick discovered monkey-mayhem had occurred in Project X there was fleet-footed frantic scrambling to round up all those monkeys! These people just look like the vending machines are all out of Certs. Maybe it gets more intense further along. We’ll see. However, one thing is clear, the apes, yeah, they want your face…on a plate. We should probably apologize for Donkey Kong.

Abduction

Taylor Lautner, abs connoisseur and full-moon transforming Pekinese, has put on a shirt and decided to try some acting that doesn’t involve supernatural love triangles, or being humped weirdly by Taylor Swift in a high school gym uniform. We want to root for him, don’t we?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW1v4zJ4fXU

Abduction looks more than a bit like 1988’s Little Nikita starring the late great River Phoenix, but with some updates. iPad! In this we see Lautner using some high kicking Kung Fu! Very Keanu of you, sir. Are you The One? The one in a too tight t-shirt, maybe? While it looks like the story may get a little muddled and fall into the “secret organization super-spy baddies want teenager because he’s really a sleeper operative” trope, this probably isn’t the worst move for Lautner. He’s the lead actor. He is, however, obviously reciting his lines in his head. We see the effort. Not good. And oh, look! There’s Maria Bello! And wait, Sigourney Weaver! Sigh.

What do you think? Worth the movie bucks and highway robbery popcorn?

What the Heck is Holy Week?

When one thinks of Christians and their religious celebrations, one tends to think of Christmas as the ultimate Christian holiday. In fact, they’re wrong.

As a Catholic Christian, I really am an Easter person. Huh? What do I mean by that? Catholics celebrate Easter each and every week at Mass. Easter is all about the sacrifices and Resurrection of Jesus. Each week at Mass, Catholics receive Communion which celebrates and makes real for us Christ’s resurrection. Not all Christian religions celebrate Communion each week; for many it is reserved for only certain times per year.

Bustedhalo is a great Youtube channel that explains Christian religious practices or beliefs in highly visual, brief clips.  Below is the one for Holy Week, the final week of Lent which is also the week before Easter.

Holy Week is an especially reflective week of Lent. Christians contemplate the sacrifices Jesus made for us, the betrayal he must have felt by Judas’ actions, as well as the promise of everlasting life for us. Easter Day ends the Lenten period.  Easter is coming out of the darkness of Lent and into the celebration of Life and light.

I especially love the fact that on Easter we sing Hallelujah again after the forty days of Lent where we do not say it. My father used to joke that we didn’t say Hallelujah during Lent because on Easter, when you could finally eat/drink/do whatever you gave up, you would say “Hallelujah!” Actually, it is much cooler than that.

During Lent, we are focusing on the “Kingdom coming” (Jesus’ resurrection), but rather than the fact the Kingdom already came. As my priest wrote: “The readings in the Masses for Lent and in the Liturgy of the Hours focus heavily on the spiritual journey of Old Testament Israel toward the coming of Christ, and the salvation of mankind in His death and resurrection. We, too, are on a spiritual journey, toward the Second Coming and our future life in Heaven. In order to emphasize that journey, the Church, during Lent, removes the Alleluia from the Mass. We no longer sing with the choirs of angels; instead, we acknowledge our sins and practice repentance so that one day we may again have the privilege of worshiping God as the angels do.”

Hallelujah returns to the Mass on Holy Saturday, the Easter Vigil — a Mass in which I never attend because it is sooooo long — because Jesus has risen. I enjoy the Hallelujah on Easter Sunday.

Hallelujah indeed.

Recipe Sunday: Cheese Tortellini With Green Apple Cream Sauce

This recipe has been passed around my family for years. It is our go-to date night recipe, which means that all of my cousins have made this dish for boys that they were trying to impress. This is crazy, seeing as there is a TON of onion in this recipe, and the cream sauce is not necessarily light, making everyone feel like beached whales after the meal. SEXY. I will say that many men have fallen prey to the charms of this recipe, just not on the night of the date.

Cheese Tortellini With Green Apple Cream Sauce
Serves 4 (easy to halve)
Prep time: Approx. 15 minutes
Cook time: Approx. 15 minutes

Ingredients

  • 1 lb cheese tortellini
  • ¼ lb diced ham
  • ½ cup Parmesan cheese, grated
  • 1 stick butter
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 1 cup whipping cream
  • ½ Granny Smith apple, grated
  • 1 tablespoon flour
  • ¼ cup brandy
  • ground black pepper to taste
  • pinch of nutmeg
  • Zantac, 75 mg.

Directions
Take 1 Zantac. Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat. Add the flour and stir together to create a paste. Add onion and apple, and saute for about 4 minutes. Add brandy, and cook for 3 minutes. Add cream, cheese, ham, pepper, and nutmeg. Turn heat to medium-low and bring to a boil, stirring constantly, about 5 minutes. Serve over cooked tortellini. If you have leftovers, it is best to re-heat them over the stove. If you microwave them, the sauce tends to separate, which means you’ll be left with a whole bunch of butter on the top.

Please share your favorite “date night” recipes below. If you have any funny anecdotes dealing with dating and your cooking, I would love to hear those as well!

Photos courtesy of scottfeldstein and cbransto.

Mastering New Challenges

My heart was pounding as I walked toward the mostly-unmarked side door of the building. I always get overly nervous when going to something alone for the first (or fifth, or sixth) time. I wound through parents waiting for their kids and entered the pool area, and luckily saw two people who looked like they were there for the same thing I was. “Hi, this is my first time and I don’t know anything”- I like to lay the facts on the table from the get-go. The woman, who definitely knows stuff, chuckled and pointed me to the women’s locker room, warning me of the hoard of under-10s in there. I decided to brave it, temporarily deafened by their heedless shrieking and screaming (I don’t think it was at me), and I headed straight for the toilet stall. I started to take my things out of my backpack, and quickly found there was not nearly enough room in there. I put my bathing suit and rain jacket on top of the toilet paper dispenser, then turned to take off my shoes. I heard a splash. My rain jacket had fallen on the ground, but my bathing suit fell in the toilet. Which some girl had not flushed. Well this is starting out smoothly, I thought. I was at once cursing and praising myself, because I had had the forethought to bring an extra bathing suit. This I put on immediately and kept everything away from that dastardly toilet. Most of the girls had left so I got out, put my things in a cubby, and headed out to the pool.

There were more people there now, including a guy who was wearing regular clothes, so I took him to be the coach. I introduced myself, quickly telling him I had bunion surgery so had not really moved in four months (it was really more, but I could only blame four of those months on the surgeries). I told him I had never swum competitively but had swum a lot in general and had always been fairly active. He sent me over to lane 1 and told me to start out with some freestyle. “All right,” I thought, “at least I’m good at freestyle.” The coach quickly put to rest my delusions of greatness, or at least of minor ability. I probably shouldn’t have told him I taught swim lessons for the last four years, I think it worried him after he saw me swim.

Anyway, a couple laps in I’m feeling good, lost count of how many laps I’ve done and how many I’m supposed to do, and he stops me. I’m excited for the guidance and opportunity to improve my technique. “Your kick is good,” he says, “but you need to push your arms through the water instead of letting them just drag along. Keep your hands closer to your body and rotate more, really reaching your hands out before they enter the water. And look ahead of you a bit as you swim, not straight down.” So I say okay, lower my goggles, and get ready to go. I’m mostly focusing on pushing the water with my hands, and I really start to feel it in my upper arms. I do probably another hundred yards like that and stop to rest. Everybody else has stopped swimming so I guess they all finished whatever we were supposed to be doing. The coach tells everyone to do a 3-2-1, whatever that means, and luckily he comes over to me. “You were pushing more, but you still need to lift your head up.” “Oh, right,” I say, “I forgot about that.” “Do another 300 of freestyle.”

Lap one, reach out, rotate, lap one, push back. Oops, gotta breathe. Lap one. Reach out, rotate, push back. This is going okay. Lap one. Oh right, look forward. Wait, now I’m not pushing back. Lap one. Push the water back. Oh, there’s the wall. Flip-turn, oh-I-really-should’ve-taken-a-breath-before-that, lap two. Look forward, reach arms forward, lap two, push the water back. I’m feeling good, my triceps are burning, and eventually I complete the 300 yards. The coach comes over. He looks disappointed. “You’ve got to push the water harder. I really want to see almost a small explosion as your arms come back. You’re taking almost 27 strokes per lap, when you should be doing 18 or 20.” “Okay,” I say, and I get ready to start swimming. Over the next few laps, my mind is a jumble of counting strokes, laps, and remembering to breathe, to reach out, look forward, push the water, and rotate. I eventually find that counting the strokes makes me automatically do many of the things he told me to do, which serves to tire out my poor tiny arms quickly. I take breaks, pretending I’m adjusting my goggles. The lowest I get is 22. I might have done 21 once. He has us all do an IM (butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke, and freestyle)- I got through maybe half a lap of a barely-recognizable butterfly. I was glad there wasn’t a lifeguard at the pool so they wouldn’t have thought I was drowning. The coach came over with ten minutes to go, telling me that I can take it easy now; I did more than he expected me to do. I’m happy to hear something good and make a note to set peoples’ expectations low at the next activity I do for the first time, so I can easily exceed them. He had us cool down with whatever stroke we liked- I picked freestyle, still trying to reach the elusive 18-stroke lap. It didn’t happen, even with my probable mis-counting.

It was time to get out of the pool, so I looked around for the stairs, or a ladder. I saw nothing. Feeling my jello arms and panicking, I attempted to get myself out of the pool. I could barely lift myself out. I pulled myself up enough to get my butt out, then kind of rolled over onto my knees. I was the epitome of grace. In the locker room I’d tell anybody I could about my bunion surgery. “It’s so nice to move again, even though I’m so out of shape because of the surgeries.” Yes, definitely because of the surgeries…

As I rinsed myself off in the shower and struggled to get my jeans back on, I was glad I went. Sure, I wasn’t entirely confident in my ability to turn my steering wheel just then, but eventually I’ll get stronger. Though all the swimming lingo and equipment is still very foreign and unintelligible to me, everybody there is really welcoming and encouraging. I’ve gone two more times to the Master’s swimming practices, and I’ve gotten more comfortable with the whole thing. Now I only have to resist the urge to buy obscenely colorful bathing suits!

Confessions of a Farmville Addict

Hi.   Wow  — I can’t believe I’m here.  I never thought it would get this bad.  But I’m here.  I have to admit it.

My name is Eddie L, and I have a problem.  I can’t turn away from Farmville.  It calls to me.   My herd of black sheep.   The penguins I keep in a pen with my turkeys, even though I know that’s ecologically unsound.  I ignore logic and believe I can grow both pomegranate and potato, even though they require opposite climates.  I reap, reap, reap Nature’s digital bounty, even though I never rotate my crops and I know I am creating another Dust Bowl.  I have abandoned logic!

So, I have come to you, Farmville Addicts Anonymous, for help.

Shall we begin?

I admit I am powerless over my addiction – that my life has become unmanageable

Like I said, my name is Eddie L., and I wish to acknowledge I am a Farmville Addict.  I am powerless over the demon call of Farmville.  I admit my life is unmanageable, because my life consists only of selling off my pen of pigs in Farmville.

I believe a power greater than myself can return me to sanity

Spock.  It must be Spock.  Spock was always the creature I turned to for guidance in this wacky world – before my motley collection of cows and horses and reindeer and ducks took over my life.  I used to be a Classic Dork – not a Farm-obsessed freak.   What would Spock, that pointy-eared lover of all that is orderly – say about Farmville?   He would say it is not logical.  I bow to you, Spock.

I am making a decision to turn my life over to a higher power

I am all yours, Spock.

I will make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself

The only question here is what character flaw led me down the path into Farmville, a delightful place with a no-place-like-home farmhouse and a well-cared for chicken coop of happy hens.  Why do I so desire to grow apple trees, yet have no desire to dirty my hands or actually sweat?

I must admit to a higher power, myself, and another human the exact nature of my wrongs

Spock, there is no doubt.  I have behaved terribly.  If I can say that to Spock, I can say it myself.   I am doing so here.  I would like to confess my sins to my wife, but I don’t remember what she looks like.   Perhaps if I leave the Man-Room, where the computer is kept, I can find some wedding pictures to refresh my memory.

I must be ready to ask a higher power to remove these defects of character.

I am ready for my Mind Meld, Mr. Spock.

I must make a list of all those I have harmed, and be willing to make amends to them. I must make said amends

First off, there is the wife.  I understand she lives, still, somewhere in this home.  I’ve been told, via text message, that she wears earplugs all day long to block out the sound of  Farmville music, which grates upon her very soul.  Darling, the music will stop.   And I will take you out!  Perhaps to a — those places where they sell already cooked food for human consumption?  I can’t remember what they’re called.

I also wish to make amends to your cat, Eleanor Roosevelt Rigby.   I’ve been so obsessed with faux animals that I forgot we have a real living furry creature here at home!   How exotic!  I think it’s the poo.   The Farmville animals don’t poo.  Eleanor does.  I don’t like poo.  But I will learn to live with it.  Poo is the price of love.

I will continue to examine my shortcomings and admit when I’m wrong.

Honey, you are always right.  Always.

I will seek through meditation the peace and guidance that comes from a higher power

Spock, I beg of you to not abandon me.  Perhaps Captain Jean-Luc Picard can offer some guidance.   Please, make it so.

Having had a Dork Awakening through these dozen steps, I will spread the word to other addicts, and tell them there is help.

Spock will help you, too.  Or perhaps your Spock are the Golden Girls.  Hello Kitty?  Or Curious George.    It matters not.  Take off the overalls.  Turn away from Farmville.  There are real, living creatures out there.   You may be married to one of them!  There is hope.

My name is Eddie L, and I am powerless over the lure of Farmville.

Home Theater PC on the Cheap

Let’s say that you’re tired of cable television. You’re tired of paying for the privilege of having 20 channels of reality shows, 40 sports channels, a music channel that barely features music, a learning channel that’s more creepy than educational, and 60 more channels you’ve never watched (Since when did we get Filipino soap operas?). You’re aware most of what you watch is online but sitting at your computer and watching TV isn’t a concession you’re willing to make. That’s when you stumble across 4 letters: HTPC

The Home Theater Personal Computer is computer specifically optimized for viewing TV shows and movies from your actual television set. They are usually a lot smaller and quieter than your usual desktop rig and usually run software that make finding your shows a snap. There are plenty of articles that will tell you how to build your very own HTPC and some even claim to be for the budget conscious. But what if you’re budget is non-existent or you just don’t want another box crowding your TV stand/entertainment center/stolen milk crates or you’re just a total cheap ass? What is wrong with using the computer you already have? Well, the answer to that my friend is: Nothing. You can still enjoy internet TV from the same computer where spreadsheets, spam email and your porn collection live (now in 1080p and 3-D). All it takes is a few cables and a tiny, little, teensy-weensy bit of technical know-how. Before you take this route, let’s set the proper expectations for this project:

  • This method will probably not get you HD-quality sound or picture. If you absolutely have to experience your TV in rich, 5.1 surround sound where you can hear every auditory detail or have such amazing picture quality that Admiral Adama’s face looks like the surface of a brown orange, you should probably just save up your money and get a dedicated HTPC. You will have to be willing to deal with pseudo-stereo sound and the occasional video stutter or any other “minor inconvenience”.
  • All of the necessary components are available either at your local electronics store or online. You won’t have to void your warranty, fabricate anything or seek out anything obscure which brings me to the next point.
  • It’s fairly simple. If you can hook up your cable box or at least have a basic understanding of what’s happening behind your computer, you should have no problem getting things working.

Step 1: Gather Your Equipment

Obviously, you’ll need your existing computer and a TV but there are cables and connectors to consider. Now, depending on your level of frugality, it is entirely possible to spend less on this set up than you would on a good 12 pack of beer. All of the components mentioned here are available through Amazon but don’t be afraid to hit up your local Radio Shack, Fry’s Electronics or any other A/V or computer supply store.

  • Your computer doesn’t have to be the latest or greatest. For reference, here are my rig’s basic specs:
    • AMD Athlon 64 3500+
    • Diamond ATI Radeon x1550
    • On Board Audio
    • Windows XP or Vista – Media Center Edition is preferred
    • 3GB RAM

    As you can see, it’s a few generations behind the times. It’s not an antique by any means but it’s not going to play Crysis. Not even the first one. However, it will play video just fine and that’s what matters.

  • This VGA splitter features 2 female ends and 1 male end

    When it comes to your television, things will be a lot easier and a bit more enjoyable if you have one that comes with a VGA connection built in and fortunately a lot of modern flat panels do. However, if you don’t have a VGA connection on your TV, you can find VGA to S-Video, component or HDMI connectors on Amazon for under $5.

  • Video cable – In order to get the picture from your computer, you need at least a VGA cable. These come in lengths ranging from 6ft to 25ft (and longer if you look hard enough). 15ft varieties can be found for under $10 online. Additionally, if you want to avoid the hassle of switching connections from your monitor to TV and back, you’ll VGA splitter (1 male/2 female).

    This is an example of VGA Cable
    VGA cable comes in lengths from 6ft to 25ft.
  • Audio cable – sound cards typically have 3.5mm jacks for easy use of headphone and desktop speakers. To get that piped into your TV or A/V receiver you’ll need a length of 3.5mm extension cable and a 3.5mm to RCA splitter. Depending on your set up you may have to augment this with additional extensions or adapters. Just be aware that quality might suffer a bit. You could also potentially need a small 3.5mm splitter if you want to use your desktop speakers from time to time.

Step 2: Installation and Setup

As always, make sure all electronics involved are turned off before you begin. In truth, finding all of the components is the hardest part as actually connecting them is pretty self-explanatory. Simply, disconnect your monitor and speakers from the back of your PC and connect the splitters. Then reconnect your monitor and speakers to the splitters and attach your extension cables to the other end. Attach those to the appropriate ports at the back of your television. I happen to have an A/V receiver so my audio cables were attached to an open connection there. Now you’re connected. It’s that simple.

While this 3.5mm to RCA splitter has two female connections, you can find versions with two male ends.

Setting up your TV and Computer to play together should be just as easy. Power both of them up and set your TV display to PC or RGB (consult your manual for details), adjust your receiver if applicable and you’re probably ready to go. There is a chance that what you see on the TV will be slightly distorted and if that’s the case, you may need to alter the resolution on your PC. I have found that in my particular case, 1440×900 works best.

Step 3: Enjoy

Congratulations! You have now joined the ranks of those who have decided to almost throw off the shackles of cable (You still need that High-Speed Internet, don’t you?). Now you can jump on YouTube and watch Toddler Metal or catch up on episodes of The Biggest Loser with Hulu. Next time, we’ll explore your options for HTPC software, which makes finding all of your shows much easier.

To make things even easier remotecontrols that are compatible with Windows Media Center are available for very little money.

If you have a modern laptop with a built in HDMI port then all of this just boils down to connecting to the HDMI port on your HDTV.

NBA Western Conference Playoff Preview

It took just about all 82 games to figure out, but here he how the final seeding ended up for the Western Conference:

1. San Antonio Spurs

  • Last season: Lost to the Phoenix Suns in the Conference Semi-Finals
  • This season: Best start in franchise history and had the best record in the league until the very last game of the season. (The Bulls ended up 62-20 and the the Spurs ended up 61-21.) However the team lost six in a row this season for the first time since the Tim Duncan era.  The Big 3 of Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili spent much of the season healthy, but all suffered injuries toward the end of the season. Duncan missed 4 of the 6 games of the losing streak. Ginobili hyper-extended his elbow at the 2:14 mark of the first quarter of their season finale against Phoenix on Wednesday.

2. Los Angeles Lakers

  • Last season: NBA Champions
  • This season: Went 17-1 immediately following the All Star break, but then lost 5 in a row and barely beat out the Junior Varsity Spurs squad and needed overtime to beat the Sacramento Kings in their season finale.
  • Notes: I can’t help but wonder if the Lakers will be able to “turn it on” for the playoffs. One last match up with the Spurs on Tuesday, could be a potential Western Conference Final preview. However, the Spurs have the #1 seed locked up and Coach Gregg Popovich chose to rest his starters. Lost Andrew Bynum to a hyper-extended his surgically repaired knee in Tuesday’s game versus the Spurs. Bynum suffered a bone bruise and is expected to available for game one of the first round.

3. Dallas Mavericks

  • Last season: Lost to the San Antonio Spurs in the first round
  • This season: Re-signed Dirk Nowitzki after some speculation following the early and unexpected playoff exit at the end of the 2009-10 season. The Mavericks lost Caron Butler to a knee injury in early January and Coach Rick Carlisle says a first round return for Butler is highly unlikely. The Mavs have not beaten a Western Conference playoff team since January 19.
  • Notes: Despite being the third best team in the West, behind the Spurs who have been having a franchise season and the defending champions, it seems as though Mavs fans have given up on the post season. A recent article in the Dallas Star-Telegram pegs the Mavericks as “an aging team trying to slap together one last miracle run for Dirk Nowitzki.” Could it be true? A series of playoff runs in the 00s, including 2006 playoffs when they were up 2-0 on the Heat, shows the Mavericks as a team built only strong enough for the regular season. You know what they say, always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

4. Oklahoma City Thunder

  • Last season: Lost to the Los Angeles Lakers in the first round
  • This season: The acquisition of Kendrick Perkins at the trade deadline seems to have given the Thunder the inside presence they were lacking. Despite the top 3 teams going through their own struggles, the Thunder have won 16 of their last 20 games. Proving that this young team is one that could cause problems for some of the older teams in the West. (Side note: After watching the All Star game, my roommate and I now randomly scream out “Durantula!” ) This team is scary as they are young and up and coming. They have a long time to be a powerhouse in the Western Conference.
  • Notes: Denver Nuggets Coach George Karl hopes to avoid the hot Thunder and play the Mavericks in the first round. The team has won 5 in a row and looks to make it 6 as they play the Milwaukee Bucks in tonight’s season finale.

5. Denver Nuggets

  • Last season: Lost to the Utah Jazz in the first round
  • This season: The team spent most of the season dealing with the “Carmelo drama.” Most people might have expected a complete collapse after losing their franchise player, but the Nuggets are 17-4 since the trade. The Nuggets and the Thunder are playing well going into the playoffs and whoever makes it to the second round will prove to be a tough opponent.

6. Portland Trailblazers

  • Last season: Lost to the Phonenix Suns in the first round
  • This season: LaMarcus Aldridge was probably the biggest All-Star snub this season. Despite having only Marcus Camby being the only player on the team with deep playoff experience, this team will be bothersome to the Dallas Mavericks in the first round. Do not be surprised if this is the team in the Western Conference to pull the upset.
  • (Side note: When was the last time Greg Oden did anything to be effective? Besides as a bench warmer? The man made $6.7 million this year doing nothing. I know, I know he’s injured, but he will always be one of those players we’ll wonder, “what if?”)

7. New Orleans Hornets

  • Last season: Did not qualify for the playoffs
  • This season: Started out just as hot as the Spurs with a 12-5 record through November, but went through at 7-9 slump in December and their play has been so-so ever since. A perennial favorite in the Western Conference since Chris Paul joined the team, this season has been slightly better than last.
  • Notes: Owner George Shinn gave up control of the team to the NBA shortly after the season started, leaving many to wonder if we’ll be looking at the Kansas City Hornets in a couple of seasons.

8. Memphis Grizzlies

  • Last season: Did not qualify for the playoffs
  • This season: Ended with a record of 46-36, improving 6 games in the win column from the 2009-10 season.
  • Notes: The Grizzles are 0-12 in the playoffs, having been swept by the Spurs, Suns and the Mavericks in the first round. After a four year absence in the playoffs, the Grizz are making a return. Even though they are the eighth seed, the Grizzles are not to be taken lightly this year. They split the season series with both the Spurs and the Lakers and won the series against the Mavericks, 3-1.

Here’s what I think will happen: Spurs, Lakers, Nuggets, Trailblazers make it out of the first round, though not without a fight. If any of these series go less than 6 games, I’ll be surprised. Trailblazers and Spurs in the Western Conference Finals and then the Spurs to play whoever comes out of the East. Could I be wrong about the Spurs? Sure, but as a life-long fan, I have to believe.

Bipolar Disorder Beyond the Headlines

Author’s Note: It has been brought to my attention by an insightful reader that this post could be perceived as presenting psychiatric maxims and advice. I want to be clear for anyone reading this that I have no psychiatric or medical training. This post is written purely from the perspective of a layperson with bipolar disorder and is not intended to diagnose, treat or judge any illness or disorder. I apologize retroactively for any lack of clarity on my part.

In a recent Crasstalk comment thread, I made the mistake of writing the sentence “Catherine Zeta Jones is pretending to be in rehab for bipolar disorder.” Although it was certainly not my intention, my very poor choice of words made it seem that I was flippantly saying that Ms. Jones was faking her illness. Perhaps my comment is even worse considering that I do know much better than to make light (even unintentionally) of serious matters.

In hindsight, I know that I should have clarified my point by writing, “Catherine Zeta Jones’ publicist says that she is in rehab for bipolar disorder.” The point I was trying to make is that for an A-list actor, the stigma of admitting to treatment in a psychiatric facility is far greater than the stigma associated with going to rehab. My theory is that drug addicts – regardless of the severity of their addiction – can always say their behavior was a result of temporary weakness, whereas people with mental illness are often viewed as inherently and irrevocably defective. Chemical imbalances in the brain that must be treated with medication are deemed far worse than chemical imbalances in the body that require medication.

Ms. Jones has been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, which is markedly different from bipolar I. (Bipolar II is characterized by more lows than highs, and the highs are rarely manic. Bipolar I is characterized by less severe lows and intermittent manic highs.) But I think the media lumps the two together because it’s more “exciting” to potentially have a manic-behaving celebrity, as in the case of Britney Spears’ paparazzi-fueled meltdown and hospitalization. But regardless, I think that arguing over degrees of mental illness is both missing the point and enhancing the stigma. I also think that the media’s tendency to publicly “out” people as being bipolar – even if they are exhibiting clear symptoms of the disorder – is victim-shaming at its worst. (Charlie Sheen comes to mind.)

Not every celebrity can be as open as, say, Carrie Fisher, who publicly talks about taking 8 different meds to manage her bipolar I disorder. I can understand a famous person not wanting to be painted with the mental illness brush. I think Catherine Zeta Jones is to be admired for acknowledging it. Of course, the extenuating circumstances of the personal stress she’s been under have clearly been a factor, but she could have instead chosen to say that she was suffering from exhaustion and face far less public scrutiny.

The brouhaha which my crass comment regarding Ms. Jones created in the comments has made me rethink my own situation. Despite my ebullient friendliness online, in many ways, I am a private person. I didn’t want to offer up as a defense for my remarks the fact that I have bipolar I disorder, because I didn’t want to be perceived as (1) insane, (2) self-hating or (3) unsupportive of other bipolar people, none of which is the case at all. I was merely recognizing the social stigma of the disorder – a stigma so great that it leads to inpatient psychiatric care being euphemistically referred to as rehab, and creates a hierarchy between “good” bipolar (II) and “bad” bipolar (I).

Having dealt with bipolar disorder consistently for eleven years (I was diagnosed a decade earlier) I can tell you that it’s challenging at times, but as long as I’m on top of things, I can consciously forestall circumstances spiraling out of my control. I take only one medication and manage my moods and thoughts quite diligently. Sleep is the best leveler I know of, and I make a concerted effort to keep my body healthy and balanced in all other ways as well. Bipolar disorder does not have to be a dramatic, violent life-interruptor, although mania is often portrayed that way on TV and in movies. It helps to have supportive people in your life; everyone close to me is well aware that I am bipolar, and my family and closest friends don’t judge me for it.

It is my intention to clear up the misunderstanding I created by offering a piece of my personal experience. It is obviously my hope that those reading this will open their minds to the possibility that bipolar disorder – and mental illness in general – is not the death sentence many people have been led to believe. There are varying degrees of the disorder, and I know that I am fortunate to have a milder version of bipolar I. Rather than look at it as a curse, I prefer to look at it the way Jimi Hendrix did: “Manic depression is touching my soul.”

UPDATE: bens made a fantastic — and crucial — comment that deserves to be in the body of this post. He offered some explicit clarification regarding the connection between drug abuse and mental illness that I had completely missed. Here is his comment in its entirety:

Drug addiction is a mental illness. You are mentally ill if you are a drug addict, plain and simple. Not everybody who goes to rehab or goes to a psychiatric facility for “drug addiction” is a drug addict, but for those who are genuine drug addicts there’s no way you can say its not a mental illness.

And then you get to the problem whereby many different mental illnesses mimic symptoms. You could be doing drugs because you’re depressed, have bipolar disorder, have a geniune addiction to drugs, because you’re self medicating anxiety symptoms, etc. There’s a lot of overlap and misdiagnosis.

The first thing anyone will tell a patient seeking help at a rehab is that “you can’t easily put the toothpaste back in the tube.” Its something that doesn’t go away.

For CZJ, she probably went to a dual-diagnosis rehab, to get the appropriate level of care. She’s most likely abusing substances, hence the rehab. Just going to a psych facility not tailored to treat her addiction would only be treating part of the problem.