You should all know Buster is en route to Washington, where he will clean up his debt ceiling bullshit in three seconds flat. Buster’s plan is Pounce Treats for everyone! Continue reading
news roundup
19 posts
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer is probably the weirdest name for a newspaper I’ve ever heard but It sounds weirdly relevant to today’s world, which often seems “post-intelligent.” Take Rebekah Brooks, for example, the News International CEO who did some pretty stupid things and resigned today over her involvement of the ever worsening News of the World telephonic ethics scandal. More headlines inside!
It’s just too hot. My shoes melted yesterday. It was terrible. I was glued to 34th St. No one brought me water. I lived off the liquid left in discarded Starbucks cups until the sun went down and I could work myself free and get home and watch reruns of Star Trek: The Next Generation in the cool comfort of my over air-conditioned apartment while writing these headlines pour vous. Continue reading
Hello! This is over-medicated with synthetic thyroid hormone Newsbunny! My hands are shaking! My heart is beating! It beats with the LOVE OF NEWS! Yes, I’m talking to the doctor today and I will be my sad misanthropic self tomorrow!
Come with me on a magical news journey! Continue reading
Hello Crasstalk. Since News Bunny is feeling a little under the weather I am going to give you what I think is important today. Continue reading
Well the new royal couple is visiting Canada right now and it seems like every time I look at the news it’s about them and I hate that and I hate them. Today they visited Slave Lake, Alberta, a community that was devastated by wild fires recently. Oh yeah, great, thanks guys that’s exactly what those people want right now to have two aristocrats paraded in front of them whom have never done anything and are obscenely wealthy while they have probably worked their asses off all their lives and they had their houses burned down by wildfires. They probably feel so much better about their situation now, thanks, really.
Let me tell you what horror is. Horror is me sitting at my desk, hands posed over the keyboard, looking at five minutes of blank copy. I got nuttin’ because it’s a holiday weekend. This why all us alleged news types go postal over the fucking hot dog eating contest and start babbling on about what’s happening with Fox’s Twitter feed (hello! Free PR for the competition!) or stupid medical studies we’ve stockpiled for these news emergencies or whatever. Because I got nothing but hot dogs and fireworks. Nothing.
Still, I search. I search for you.
Wee! Firecrackers and all that! Continue reading
Tell me. Do you have dirty thoughts? Continue reading
The big news today is Rod Blagojevich got his ass handed to him in court yesterday. A jury found him guilty of 17 corruption charges. “I, frankly, am stunned,” said Blagojevich as he left the court house. There is a number of other things happening also including plenty of war crimes.