Let me tell you what horror is. Horror is me sitting at my desk, hands posed over the keyboard, looking at five minutes of blank copy. I got nuttin’ because it’s a holiday weekend. This why all us alleged news types go postal over the fucking hot dog eating contest and start babbling on about what’s happening with Fox’s Twitter feed (hello! Free PR for the competition!) or stupid medical studies we’ve stockpiled for these news emergencies or whatever. Because I got nothing but hot dogs and fireworks. Nothing.
Still, I search. I search for you.
- If you smoke, you die! If you quit smoking, you die! This is crazy talk!
- Let us keep on fiddling and spewing shit into the air and water and earth, shall we?
- You got a drone? Well, I got a drone! Yeah, I got a drone, too! What do you think of that, US? Stuff it!
- Fox’s Twitter feed hacked! Personally, I would have gone with an aliens attack the US theme, given that it was Independence Day.
- The aforementioned hot dog situation. It is me, or does Joey Chestnut sound like a mob name?
- Deliberations resume in the Casey Anthony trial today.
