celebrities

47 posts

Big Production Gossip Links

Hold for Cecil B DeMille. HOLD EVERYTHING!!!
Hold for Cecil B DeMille. HOLD EVERYTHING!!!

Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? Oh what am I saying? If you can’t hear me, IT’S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM, DOLLFACE!!! You’re fired.

Now peel me a grape. And get my lawyer in here. Bernie. No, the other Bernie. This Sid Korshak has to be taught a lesson: nobody pushes Cecil B. DeMille around! Now get my wheelchair. I feel like looking at the little people. I need a good laugh.

ISN’T THAT GRAPE READY YET???

No, NOT a red one. I only like the green ones. I hate Reds. While you’re running for your life to find me some green grapes, I’ll just loll here in my golden bathtub filled with tears freshly wrung from the pillows of virginal prom queens turned used-up chorines, and scrub my back with my souvenir loofah wrenched from the pinnacle of Sagrada Familia. God, I love Culture.

And baby, a semi-unfatted soy latte, half-caf. No foam. Three thirty second shots. Stirred clockwise three times by an ivory and unicorn-hair wand.

I’ll be here reading the trades.

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Forbes Releases Celebrity 100 List

“Holy shitballs!” was how Bethenny Frankel described her feelings about being on the cover of the most recent Celebrity 100 edition of Forbes magazine. Holy shitballs is right. This year Bethenny made about $55 million dollars. It feels like just the other day she was the poor, downtrodden Real Housewife of New York City peddling her brand Bethenny Bakes at every function imaginable but now everything has changed. The reality shows that made her famous only “earned” her about $700,000 last year but she definitely owes alot of her success to them. She has multiple best-selling books and other business ventures including her brand SkinnyGirl Cocktails and its premier drink the SkinnyGirl Margarita. In fact, she recently inked a deal for her brand of drinks which netted her a reported $100-$120 million dollars. All of things considered, she is now probably the wealthiest of all the New York City Housewives and she isn’t even on the show anymore. Continue reading →

Nutty Gossip Links

Bette! Why’d you do it, Bette?

And why’d you leave the body in my apartment?

Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph on a Tapdancing Donkey, I’m never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER getting the bloodstains out of the Isfahan. Even Martha Stewart can’t help with this one: I asked. No, she’s a doll, she’d help if she could. Something about parole conditions and abetting a felony. GOD! Why must The Man keep her bound and gagged with red tape? They hate her because she’s a strong woman.

Bette, baby, honey, sweetie, I’m imploring you. Can’t you help me get these bloodstains out?

No, of COURSE I’m not implying that you as a persun of femininity must be relegated to dreary and unfulfilling housework: I was wondering if any of your other ghehs had a cleaning fetish. Continue reading →

Space Age Gossip Links

Space Age Smokes
Space Age Smokes

Calling in from remote outposts, darlings. How is Earth going? Canucks still on track for Lord Stanley’s Cup? O’Bamas still spreading universal cheer? Excellent! I even hear Kim Kardashian is trying to heal white supremacy wounds by getting engaged to yet another K and being all “mixed race babehs are teh best” and good for her.
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A Crass Social Experiment – The Results!

Hello again Crasstalkers, lets look at results of our little quiz from yesterday.

Credit where it’s due: the quiz was taken from a book called Snoop by Professor Sam Gosling, an entertaining and informative study on what we can learn of people’s personalities through their offices, bedrooms, trash cans, cars, music collections, job interview behaviors, etc.; in many cases, what we think we can learn but actually can’t.

The quiz, seemingly about our knowledge of various celebrities, was not really about our knowledge of celebrities. You are not about to be shamed for knowing all about Apple Martin while knowing nothing of Hermann von Helmholtz.

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A Crass Social Experiment – How Well Do You Know These Celebs?

I’ve come across an interesting psychological study involving your knowledge of various celebrities that I’d like to try out on the Crass Commentariat. The quiz is simple and will take you only a minute to answer. At the end of the post is a list of names. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you know about each individual on the list, where 1 is “never heard of them” and 10 is “know their life story”?

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Morticia Gossip Links

Good evening/afternoon/whatevs, darlings. I’m a bit pressed for time lately, what with packing for my imminent move to the Frozen Tundra (seriously) and so I’ll have to link-dump and run, but today’s gossip is particularly juicy and you’ll want to chew it over. And over. And no stomach-churning Xtina pix SANS FARDS today, I promise.

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