Books

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Official Book Club Selection: Round 1

Hey, birds. Use this as your thread to suggest the next selection for the Crasstalk Book Club (Thinner than Oprah™). Here’s how it’s going to work.

  • Suggest a book in the comments.
  • Fonz the book(s) you’d want to read.

On Saturday, we’ll be selecting the top three for a face-off, and, remember, if your book is chosen, we expect you to host. This week we’re reading a Romance, so to be fair to other genres, we ask that no Romance novels are suggested.

Wednesday Question of the Day: Who is your Favorite Literary Character?

Good morning Crasstalk. Today we are going to be a little bit more cultured with our Question of the Day. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt you and I am sure we will be back to talking reality TV and boy bands tomorrow. So let’s turn our focus to some great books.

Chaucer approves of this post.

While most of us like to read, literature is often something we leave in Freshman Lit 101. This is a shame, and in the interest of creating the well-cultured Crasstalk, I submit the following question:

Who is your favorite literary character? Please, let’s not use books that have been turned into Life Time Movies, or have been adapted to star Skeet Ulrich. Keep it classy.

Mine is not who you would think (although he is up there), but rather I am going way back to Arthurian legend for this saucy and duplicitous lady. Morgan Le Fay, half-sister of Arthur and enemy of Camelot. Powerful, smart, and conniving, she helped destroy Artur and that sap Lancelot. She would have made Alexis Carrington cry like a bitch.

Even comic book readers know not to fuck with this girl.

 

So there’s mine. Whose was the character that made your lit assignments a little less tedious?

Gandhi, Sex, and the Cycle of Outrage

Currently there is a new book on Gandhi making its rounds on the internet review circuit, Joseph Lelyveld’s Great Soul: Mahatma Gandhi and His Struggle with India. Initially the book generated a number of “controversial” reviews that focused on sexual scandal, bisexuality, and racism allegedly related to this modern Hindu icon. Outrage!

Gandhi on left with friend Hermann Kallenbach and unnamed woman

Here are some examples: “Outrage in India over new biography that depicts Gandhi as racist, bisexual” or “Outrage over claims of Mahatma Gandhi being bisexual.”

Interestingly, now, a number of articles are coming out about the reviews themselves in the very circular way such things work in cyberspace. The Times of India: “Outrage over reviews of new Gandhi book”; the Economic Times supplement: “Outrage over reviews of Joseph Lelyveld’s ‘Mahatma Gandhi and His Struggle with India.”

The New York Times, where Lelyveld once held an elite position, just plain plays softball: “Appreciating Gandhi Through His Human Side.”

I will only discuss a couple of examples cited in the reviews and one  from Google Book Previews (I am currently still waiting for the book to arrive ). While the book is still in the public eye, however, I want to say a few things about what I call the Cycle of Outrage that the book is being subjected to and offer examples of other books about Indian religious icons that have undergone this treatment. What can we expect to happen with Lelyveld’s  contribution?

It seems inevitable that when you explore the human and especially the sexual lives of modern Hindu figures, you inevitably run into a shit storm disproportionate to the offering, especially from the religious right (sometimes referred to as Hindutva). The shit storm may amount to very little, like bad Amazon reviews, but it may take a darker turn and include vandalism and/or death threats. We will blame the internet, right-wing politicing, and mob mentality.

So here is some of the dirt on the book Great Soul. The author, Lelyveld, is a former executive editor of the New York Times, had a long career as a journalist and writer, and has lived and traveled throughout Asia and Africa. A 2005 overview of his career can be read here. Lelyveld draws primarily from Gandhi’s autobiography and journals, and from his own journalistic legwork in South Africa stretching back to the 1960s. Lelyveld revisits some of Gandhi’s old haunts as well as explores his enduring reputation there (a monument of Gandhi erected in Durban is contrasted to a McDonald’s restaurant built on top of a vegetarian restaurant he frequented).

Gandhi and Race

Lelyveld is accused of characterizing Gandhi as “racist.” The term is found three times in the book, most emphatically when describing his attitude towards Gandhi’s views of South Africans. He refers, for example, to a well known quote about Gandhi’s strong feelings on the “mixing of the Kaffirs with the Indians” (just Google this phrase to see its extensive use). And while he does suggest that Gandhi’s language is racist, the sage’s controversial views on race have long been known, so this charge against Lelyveld seems a little unfair since this view is not unique to him. Outrage!

Gandhi, Vows, and Sex

Early on, Lelyveld hones in on Gandhi’s vow of brahmacharya, basically a Hindu vow of celibacy, and his subsequent struggles with it. Gandhi takes a particular approach to this vow that is inspired from his reading of the Bhagavad Gita – be detached from this world but remain engaged with it (that is, don’t run away to a cave or mountain top). The result is a politically active renunciant. It is the “struggles” as they are portrayed by Lelyveld and as they are (more importantly) filtered through the online reviews, that are primarily the source of the outrage.

Gandhi’s view of sex is presented as follows: “Gandhi held to a traditional Hindu idea that a man is weakened by any loss of semen–a view aspiring boxers and their trainers are sometimes said to share–and so for him his vows from the outset were all about discipline, about strength.” We also learn how he reprimanded his son for having sex with his wife (the son’s that is). Gandhi is quoted saying: “sex leads to a ‘criminal waste of precious energy’ that ought to be transmuted into ‘the highest form of energy for the benefit of society’.” OK!

The Wall Street Journal outlines a few of the juicy controversies in the book. Lelyveld discusses the “nightly cuddles” that 70 year old Gandhi had with his 17 year old niece while leading India’s independence movement. A “test” of his spiritual (brahmacharya) vow. Gandhi says of these experiences: “Despite my best efforts, the organ remained aroused. It was an altogether strange and shameful experience.” These episodes are also well known (e.g. Sudhir Kakar analyzed Gandhi’s “experiments” with young women in 1989).

I had not previously read about the Vaseline episode discussed in the WSJ. Cotton wool and a jar of petroleum jelly are linked to a portrait of Gandhi’s friend, the Jewish architect and bodybuilder named Hermann Kallenbach. Gandhi kept his photo on the mantle across from his bed. The cotton and Vaseline are a “constant reminder” of his friend. What does that mean? Maybe it is for an enema? Lelyveld asks. The unstated suggestion is that Gandhi might have masturbated to the photo of his friend. It is this passage that has generated the most controversy along with this and this. The reviews take this to mean that Lelyveld says Gandhi is bisexual, although it is mostly suggestive rather than explicit. And then there is the entourage of women who administered Gandhi’s daily massages at his sexy ashram. Now that is some brahmacharya Gandhi! Lelyveld seems to want to lead his readers in a number of possible directions, but never really makes any definitive statements on this “controversial” issue. The reviewers, however, go to town and the religious right follow right behind. This is how controversies are manufactured and people’s lives can get messed up. The book has already been banned in Gujarat and will likely get banned in Maharashtra. Book burnings will follow.

Other Book Controversies

Shivaji: king and icon of 17th century Hindu revival

There are precedents for the current Cycle of Outrage. I want to look briefly at three “controversial” books treating similarly revered Hindu figures. All of these books have been the subject of banning campaigns by the religious right. All the authors have been subjected to death threats and public ridicule. Book burnings and extensive vandalism have also ensued. In most cases the reaction is stirred by one or two controversial lines or footnotes by people with political axes to grind; like this fucker, who is responsible for Lelyveld’s troubles in Gujurat.

The first book was written by James Laine: Shivaji: Hindu King in Islamic India. He claimed, in a footnote, that Shivaji’s father was an illegitimate child born to a Muslim dancing girl. The library where Laine did his research was ransacked by a mob and workers there were badly injured. The case for banning the book went to the supreme court and only recently thrown out. Prior to this, there were calls to arrest Laine. He also received death threats.

To give you an idea of who Shivaji is to Hindus, especially in Maharashtra, there are currently plans underway to build his statue off the coast of India equivalent to the statue of liberty. Shivaji is a big fuckin’ deal!!

Another book is Paul Courtright’s Ganesa: Lord of Obstacles, Lord of Beginnings. This author received death threats and had his book banned because he psychoanalyzed a myth about the elephant god’s birth (in 2 out of 300 pages); something about his trunk representing a “flaccid” penis and being no threat to his father (Shiva). Not a stellar analysis to be sure, but reasons for threats, etc.? Maybe not. The book was initially published in the ’80s and circulated unnoticed until an Indian edition was to come out about a decade ago. That edition never got published because of right-wing outrage. Again, let’s blame the internet for this. Here is what went down in the author’s own words.

Finally, there is Jeffery Kripal’s book Kali’s Child: The Mystical and the Erotic in the Life and Teachings of Ramakrishna (1995). The book explores and analyzes the “mystical experiences” of the Bengali Saint Ramakrishna against a backdrop of repressed homosexual desire. Here is more than you ever could want to know about this book, its controversy, and the Ramakrishna movement.

The lesson? Write your books in the pre-internet age and/or make the controversial topics secondary to generic topics that few will bother to read. On second thought, that didn’t work well for Paul Courtright. However, keep this in mind: book burnings sell books.

So there you have it. We can expect that Lelyveld’s book will continue to get banned in India and he will likely receive death threats from a subsection of zealous right wing Hindus spurred to action by assholes like Modi who is, in turn, inspired by all the trite shit he reads in the Daily Mail or where ever. It doesn’t matter that Lelyveld may or may not have said the things that the reviews claim he did, in the manner that they claim he did (without nuance or context). It is all part of the Cycle of Outrage!

Stay in school kids. Keep reading and be sure to order your books through the Crass Amazon link!

Sweet Valley, New York

It started when I was five, but I had no idea how long the love affair would end up lasting. I just meant to read a few, just the ones my older sister had left lying around the house, but a few turned into a bunch, which turned into a lot, and before I knew it, I had left almost no book unturned. I may have grown up in New York, but there was no doubt about it–my heart was in Sweet Valley, California.

As such, you can imagine my excitement at the announcement that Francine Pascal, the creator of the Sweet Valley series (which included Sweet Valley Kids, Sweet Valley Twins, The Unicorn Club, Sweet Valley Junior High, Sweet Valley High, Sweet Valley Senior Year, Sweet Valley University, and Elizabeth, in addition to spawning a TV series starring Brittany and Cynthia Daniel), would be releasing a new book entitled Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later. After all, I knew Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield and their friends and exes about as well as I knew my own, probably better in some respects. How could I not want to know where they ended up and who and what they were doing?

My Personal Collection

And yet, I knew from the instant I read about its impending release that I would be disappointed. Growing up, SVH and SVU were pretty much my life; how was Pascal–whose role in the series had always been kinda sketchy, considering all the books were written under obvious pen names–going to cram hundreds of Wakefield friends-and-family factoids into one book? Reading the acknowledgments only confirmed my suspicions. In them, Pascal thanks someone for “knowing everything there is to know about Sweet Valley and saving (her) from any number of memory lapses.”

Oh does she, Francine? Does she know “everything”? Orrr did she maybe just read the (absolutely hilarious and completely fabricated) SVH and SVU Wikipedia pages? Because seriously, the mistakes in Sweet Valley Confidential suggest that no one involved ever read past book #75. But don’t worry! I’m here to help! So step back, FP and FP’s little friend, and let someone who was once so absorbed by reading the newest SVH release (which, at the time, was #116: Nightmare in Death Valley) that she got locked into her local bookstore take over.

Before we get to why Sweet Valley Confidential is such a disaster, let’s get a little background. (Spoilers to follow, obviously). As its subtitle indicates, the book is a look at the lives of the Wakefield twins “ten years later.” (Ten years later than what, I’m not sure, since the books continue through the twins’ sophomore year of college but in SVC they’re only twenty-seven.) Elizabeth is now living in New York (yay!) working for some rinky-dink theater publication (boo!) and seething because Todd (you remember Todd-the boring guy she broke up with every twenty books or so) and Jessica are-surprise!-engaged. That’s right, Todd and Jessica are engaged and living in Sweet Valley, and all this went down while Todd and Elizabeth were engaged and living in Sweet Valley, so, yeah-that’s a pretty legit ouchie, unlike some of the other things that have gotten Lizzie’s panties in a twist over the years. It’s been eight months since Liz discovered that Todd and Jess were in heat love, and she hasn’t spoken to either one since, but when her grandmother’s 80th birthday party brings her back to Sweet Valley (yeah, I couldn’t believe that was the best excuse they could come up with either), Liz has to figure out how she’s going to face the couple who betrayed her.

Of course, a visit to Sweet Valley reveals what everyone else is up to now as well: Lila Fowler and Ken Matthews are now married, but separated, and getting divorced, but still sleeping together, or something? Oh, and Ken’s in the NFL. Of course. Enid Rollins is married, but slutting it up with AJ Morgan, because she can. Steven Wakefield is married to Cara Walker, except not anymore, because–surprise! He’s gay! And boning Aaron Dallas! Bruce Patman is now BFF with Elizabeth, and completely in love with her, even though she’s still boring. (Though she uses much more profanity these days). And Winston Egbert’s dead.

So! Things have been exciting! And apparently people only marry other people from Sweet Valley! Did not see that coming! Anyway, everything ends up working out well and everybody’s happy (except Winston, because he’s still dead), so hooray for Sweet Valley! But for this twenty-seven-year-old woman experiencing Sweet Valley from the other coast, a happy ending couldn’t make up for all the issues along the way. For example:

  • For whatever reason, AJ Morgan is mentioned about a zillion times throughout the book, but I’m pretty sure that FP and her expert friend had him completely confused with someone else because he wasn’t A) A bad boy by any stretch of the imagination, B) A blond (hello, ginger!), or C) introduced to Jessica until SVH #48: Slam Book Fever, which means he couldn’t have touched her boob in 7th grade.
  • On page 278, “Bruce Patman kissed her! That had never happened before. Not while she was conscious anyway, but that’s a long story.” Ahem. First of all, I assume the “not conscious” reference is to SVH #7: Dear Sister, in which Lizzie’s head is all messed up because of her motorcycle accident and she ends up hooking up with Bruce. (Fun fact: This book is where I read the word “breast” for the first time!) She wasn’t unconscious, just dumb. Second of all, excuse me, but have we forgotten SVH #102, Almost Married? Yeah, Bruce and Liz are old news.
  • Speaking of old news, was Jess and Todd getting together reallllly such of a shock, Lizzie? Because they’ve done it before. About a thousand times. Like when you were on trial for killing Sam? They hooked up. In college? They hooked up. I could’ve told you this was coming. But I probably wouldn’t have, because you’re dumb and even ten years later I still don’t like you.
  • Also on page 278? “The possibility of Elizabeth Wakefield cheating on anything or anyone was near impossible.” Oh, really? Because if I recall correctly, Elizabeth Wakefield cheated on everyone. The only difference was that she never got caught. Or, when she did, Todd just didn’t give enough of a crap.
  • You’re going to write a list of dead Sweet Valley-ites and include Suzanne Devlin, the bitch from like three books, but completely ignore Olivia Davidson, who got crushed by a refrigerator during an earthquake? I mean, I can forgive the fact that she appears in SVU #8, creepy as it is, because I’m pretty sure that was written before you killed her off, but come on.
  • The twins’ lavalieres do not have aquamarines. They do not have their initials engraved in them. They just don’t. Shut up.
  • No, Ned Wakefield will not be “walking his daughter down the aisle for the third time.” (Oh, yeah, Jessica also married and then ran out on some French guy). He didn’t walk her down the aisle the first time. He didn’t even know she married Mike McAllery until they were already en route to divorce. Save your cliches for when they make sense.
  • We’re just going to completely ignore that Enid Rollins hasn’t been Enid since she started college, huh? IT’S ALEXANDRA NOW.

And so on, and so forth. And that’s ignoring the total disrespect paid to later relationships in the series. Are we really supposed to pretend that Cara’s the only woman Steven’s loved since Tricia Martin died of leukemia, even though he got Billie (a woman, as he was not yet into manparts) pregnant and they almost got married when they were living together in college? That Bruce and Lila’s relationship was “a fling” despite the fact that they were quite in love and moved in together in college (albeit only really for SVU #17)? That it’s acceptable that Elizabeth’s relationship with Tom Watts is referred to as “brief” and basically compared to her stupid crapfest of a farce relationship with Sam Burgess? But I’ve said too much.

In short, this is not a book for Sweet Valley purists, but it doesn’t really matter. Because if you really loved Sweet Valley, you’ll read it anyway. Because you can’t not. Because Francine Pascal, for all she doesn’t know about her own creations, is still your overlord. Because Sweet Valley is like Jessica Wakefield herself; no matter how much she hurts you, you will always, always end up forgiving her.

Time Machine Book Review: The Timothy Files and Timothy’s Game

The Timothy Files, Lawrence Sanders, 1987, Berkley Books
Timothy’s Game, Lawrence Sanders, 1988, Berkley Books

When the term Private Investigator comes up in conversation, everyone has a touchstone. Whether it’s Magnum P.I. or Sam Spade, the overall tradition has been of a man who is pithy, good with the ladies, drinks, smokes, and kills, albeit reluctantly and usually in self defense.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Timothy Cone.

Although he’s a private detective and fits the bill of stereotypes, he’s not pithy. In fact, he’s the only detective who has forced me keep a dictionary handy to translate his verbosity during the reading of Lawrence Sanders’ wonderfully funny and unfortunately too short series of 2 books containing 3 short stories each.

Timothy Cone works for Haldering & Co. a Manhattan Wall Street firm that investigates clients for buyouts and mergers. Pretty dull stuff in theory, until the murder, sex, (the stories take place in the 1980’s, so there is a lot of cocaine and some ebullient wife-swapping) and thievery of the clients make the books difficult to put down. With plots that are so realistic they can awaken the felon a reader never knew they inwardly possessed, (I know now how to commit insider trading if it was 30 years ago).  The books “The Timothy Files” and “Timothy’s Game” have intricate descriptions of Manhattan when it was still dirty and dangerous, with mind-numbingly intelligent plots that make these short stories some of the best mysteries I have ever read. And re-read. And still laughed out loud at, 16 years after I read them for the first time. But the best thing, is the is the dialogue. (And the fact that when Cone leaves his apartment he orders his cat, Cleo not to masturbate while he is gone.)

Cones’ description of his romantic interest Samantha Watling, (his boss): “an iron fist in an iron glove.”

About a briefcase full of papers he has to carry home: “I lugged the blivet down here.” *

Admiring an attractive woman: “What a dish! He suddenly remembers a gyrene** buddy of his spotting a similar woman on the street and remarking admiringly, ‘all you need with that is a spoon and a straw.'”

A sergeant he’s working a case with, who constantly bums cigarettes: “I’m trying to quit smoking by not buying cigarettes. Now I’m going to die a mooch with lung cancer.”

To a libidinous older police detective he’s eating lunch with: “Your a dirty old man.” “Well, I was a dirty young man, I haven’t changed.”

These stories are fast paced, daring, and the perfect mix of noir and humor. And I haven’t loaned one out without the person becoming a convert. A girlfriend who’s never read a mystery, a friend before he was shipped to Iraq, a theater production designer – they all came back raving and quoting the book randomly over drinks.

Timothy Cone can make friends among the most diverse groups of people.

I’m not a fan of Lawrence Sanders’ ‘Deadly Sin’ series, or any of his other books actually. They never captured my interest. But, to re-work that stupid Jerry Maguire quote into the ground in regard to Timothy Cone, “He had me at scragged.” ***

* blivet – 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag
**gyrene – a member the US Marine Corps
*** scragged – killed

Tuesday Daytime Open Thread

Hello Crasstalk! Hope you are having a wonderful day and are ready for more exciting happenings in our little corner of the web.
Quick announcement. Lady_E would like to pass on that she picked a winner for this weekend’s bookshelf contest. The lucky contestant was Mr. P_Mouse with this amazing description of his collection:

As with my dog, if you take issue with my choice/juxtaposition of books, you will at best be suffered in silence, at worst given the bum’s rush and never invited back.

Also, as we have something on the order of 10,000 books and no discernable capacity for logical organization, nearly every provocative grouping is purest random chance.

That said, I do occasionally amuse myself with groupings (although no one else has ever noticed, as far as I know)

For example, there’s “Elaine’s corner.”,

Elaine herself, of course, is at the so-called “Late” table now : she’s there next to Sinatra and Jackie O; nearby, Truman Capote and Bill Styron sneer and snicker at a rakishly tilted Mailer who’s trying to look up Germaine Greer’s skirt before stabbing her. (Mailer’s a nightmare: none of the other books want to be shelved anywhere near him.)

Woody’s over there (Without Feathers), and also without Soon-Yi; tonight he’s got Lolita on his arm — the real one — while Nabokov’s sardonic ghost looks on with the amused disdain of a true aristo before turning again to Candace Bushnell and Jimmy Breslin.

Tom Wolfe is making the rounds, but the others are flinching away a bit; it’s the glare of that damn jacket — these days Tom is regarded as you might a fluorescent bulb about to burn out, casting rather a harsh light that falters and flashes in the MOST annoying way, and buzzing now and then, randomly. But he’s a fixture, after all.

I am not sure what he wins besides bragging rights, but since we are talking about reading and Crasstalk, bragging rights are kind of a big deal. Thanks to everyone who shared their book habits.

Here’s a little sunshine to get you going today.

Have a great day and don’t fight the funk.

-=Message from Bens=-
Hi guys. A lot of people have said “hey, I can’t see the Amazon.com link! What is this you speak of? Well, you need to turn off Adblock Plus, for Crasstalk. We promise we won’t run cheeto ads. Please, please, turn it off. Here’s how!
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2. There’s an option that will say “disable for crasstalk.com” – check it.
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ALSO! Adobe has fixed some MAJOR bugs in FlashPlayer. Unless you’re super l33t like Dogz, you’ll need to update. Easy method: go over to Browsercheck.qualys.com and let it search for updates. It works on Firefox, Safari, and Chrome. You’ll be happy when you don’t look at your credit card statement and see mysterious charges coming from a Belarussian strip club. Have a nice day!