Growing up, after buying coney dogs and flurries from the independent ice cream shop up the road from where we lived and across the street from where we went to middle school, my sister and I would bike over to Kay’s Books, a small, dingy little place filled with love for words, and we would spend the rest of our allowance on comics, Archie for her and Spiderman for myself. The comics were located right up front, and just off to the side was the Romance section. I liked to laugh at the cheesy covers featuring illustrations of that guy from the butter commercials and the equally cheesy titles. Who read this stuff? As I began to write myself, I thought, who wrote this stuff? Don’t people want to write about big ideas, about great philosophical conflict? Continue reading
AssembledWrong
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Four Books Enter. Two Books Leave. What are we reading? You decide. BANG! You’re dead. Continue reading
Hey, birds. Use this as your thread to suggest the next selection for the Crasstalk Book Club (Thinner than Oprah™). Here’s how it’s going to work.
- Suggest a book in the comments.
- Fonz the book(s) you’d want to read.
On Saturday, we’ll be selecting the top three for a face-off, and, remember, if your book is chosen, we expect you to host. This week we’re reading a Romance, so to be fair to other genres, we ask that no Romance novels are suggested.
Before we begin discussing Ibsen’s tale of redemption in the aftermath of an embezzlement, let’s reveal what you kids are reading next. Envelope, Please!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHXGn0pjAGw
Men! Man your battle-stations! Women! Woman your battle-stations! Children! Shouldn’t you be in school? Oh, it’s the weekend? FINE! Child your battle-stations! Little Birds, an alien threat is upon us. They wish to destroy our entire way of life. They wish to destroy the squirrels. They wish to destroy the hippopotamuses. They wish to destroy our supermarkets and our bodegas. They wish to destroy our LensCrafters. They wish to destroy our embassies. They wish to destroy Disneyland. They wish to destroy Disney World. They have issued a press release stating that the do not wish to destroy Disney California Adventure because they think that one’s kind of fun. Rubes! Rubes we say! Philistines! Philistines we shriek! They even, and we’re struggling to say this. It’s like all of the air has been Dyson’d out of our bodies, but, we’re going to try. Birds, they wish to destroy…
Rag Rajartnam of Galleon Group was convicted today on 14 counts of fraud and conspiracy related charges. He is expected serve up to 19.5 years in prison. The Times, being the astute reporters they are, have graciously let us know he was wearing a khaki green tie during the announcement.
Mr. Rajartnam, khaki green is for garments, not accessories.
Little birds, while researching today’s article, we came across some shocking news. Barbie™, everyone’s favorite doll, was, at one time, an SS Hauptsturmführer known as The Butcher of Lyon. She tortured men, women, and children (we assume this is why Kelly™ always looks like she’s afraid of something despite living the glamorous life of a plastic doll in Los Angeles) through electroshock and forcing them to have sex with dogs. That’s right. Everyone’s favorite Special Education Teacher/Paratrooper/Pet Stylist is a murderer who was put on trial for her war crimes today in 1987. We assume she was declared innocent (though, clearly, she wasn’t) as she became President of the United States in 2000, stealing Hilary Clinton’s glory after a previous failed attempt in 1992. Perhaps her crimes were still in the memories of our nation’s peoples. Perhaps that’s why she lost to the nation’s First Black President™, Billiam Clinton.
Well hey there Book Clubbers! We’re halfway through the cycle. How you doin’? Yeah, we haven’t started John Gabriel Borkman yet either. We’ll get to it! We promise! However, we’ve gotta pick the next selection (and the next host) so here’s how it’s going to work.
Oh my god. We really can’t believe that we’re standing up here, talking to all of you people. We’ve worked so hard and we’ve failed so much so that, we’re sorry for tearing up. We really are! It’s just, we’re so happy right now. We mean, obviously we have to thank the Academy for rewarding us with this great achievement that all of the other nominees deserved just as much. Go you! Go you! We’re all winners, even if we’re the ones with the statue. Oh! We’re just a little hot up here (fans selves). This is just so exciting! We came from a small town without the support of anyone but screw you all now! Screw you all! We made it and you’re watching us on television right now! We made it! We made it. (softer) We made it. And it’s all because we believed. We believed in our writers. We believed in our producers. We believed in the little people that make this all happen and, of course, we believed in God because He’s the one that gave us all this talent and He’s the one that’s opened up the doors so that we could share it, not only with everyone in this room, but with everyone in the world. (raises trophy above head) We did it!
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It’s May! That means that we (and by we, I mean I) have decided to reboot the Crasstalk Book Club. But, books, man. Who has time for books? Plays, though. Plays we can work with in regards to time limits and if we, for some bizarre reason (eaten by lions, shot by gorillas, nasty paper cuts etc.), neglect to finish (or even start!) the play, well, we can always watch the movie two hours before discussion time to get necessary talking points.
Introducing the Crasstalk Play Club!