Daily Archives: March 16, 2011

17 posts

Crassballin’: The Official Crasstalk March Madness Bracket Contest

Is there anything better than March Madness? The upsets, the nail-biters, the non-stripperish cheerleaders from small town Kentucky. The NCCAA tournament truly has it all.

We’re going to spend the next few weeks pondering the insane ramblings of Billy Packer. We’re going to wonder what sort of brown liquor Bob “Huggie Bear” Huggins drinks with his breakfast every morning. We’re going to spend countless hours considering the most efficient method for murdering the Plumlee twins (Answer: wood chipper). And best of all, we’re going to figure out a way to convince ourselves that our shitass school is destined for Final Four greatness.

We call it Crassballin’. Continue reading

Having Trouble Editing Your Images?

In both the comments and on the Facebook group I’ve noticed a recurring theme. Many of you seem to be having trouble with image uploading/editing. Even if you’re not a writer here this should provide some useful information.

For the thumbnail the image needs to be 455 pixels by 280 pixels. This will be at 72dpi. Easily put, dpi is a big part of the picture’s resolution. Let’s not go into dpi too much, just know that the web operates at 72 as a standard. This also means that if you want an image to take the whole column spread of your article it will need to be 455px as well and at full-size. Full-size is one of the picture editing options when you upload it.

When you re-size a picture watch your relative size. If it starts out tiny just because you can make it bigger doesn’t mean it will look good. Visible pixelation is not pretty! You will have to eyeball this which means you need a decent imaging program. Many of you have Photoshop I’m sure, and as the industry-standard it’s indeed dandy…if you know how to use it properly. However, Photoshop is expensive and I will not be writing an article on how to get a hacked copy anytime soon. Uh…try 4chan at your own risk? I dunno. Seriously, don’t. Therefore I have a couple of alternatives because if you are using MS Word or the ilk, you’re doing it wrong.

If you are on a PC you can use Thumba. You will need to install Silverlight first but if you stream Netflix you already have it, so not a big deal. Thumba is one of the best online image editing free-services I’ve found. Easy to learn, fairly intuitive, not an eyesore, unfortunately though…not for Mac.

If you’re on a Mac or just want something more heavy-duty try GIMP for Mac or PC. Gimp is damn near Photoshop for free. It’s an absolutely brilliant program. I can’t believe they give it away. It’s less user friendly than Thumba. Steeper learning curve. You might actually have to read the accompanying information a little but it’s great if you need to actually alter or repair your images which I’d not suggest on Thumba per se. Gimp also has a huge cult following including brushes & scripts on DeviantArt if you want to play!

I will happily answer other image editing questions. Keep in mind I am not a WordPress expert, just a computer artist.

Edit: Looks like the image source on a few different browsers actually lists the final header image size as 600×260 pixels. I apologise for using erroneous information!

Crass Poetry: The Harmony Of Here

Close your eyes; be still.
Feel each present moment,
that often is lost in a blur
of doing and acquiring

Slow the pace; feel your breath
and the harmony of here:
the quiet, gentle wisdom
of being and becoming

Release the expectations
which have bombarded your senses,
and tune into the truth
of your own innate perfection

Untether your psyche
from the realm of lack and fear,
and luxuriate in the body
that is your most sacred temple

 

Whether or not we see it fully,
we have been puppets and pawns
in the passionless play
of a materially-obsessed world

We’re acting out characters
we neither like nor understand;
living an unwitting charade,
for no hope of real reward

What a profligate waste
of time, energy and resources
(because you’ll never be rich,
thin, attractive or young enough)!

In scarcity, welcome abundance
with gratitude and humility;
Impecuniousness is far richer
than a lack of spiritual substance

Overwhelmed by artifice, it’s easy
to lose sight of what’s real
But there’s nothing we could need
that we haven’t always possessed

Sadly, there are no mainstream sages
to help us nurture this awareness;
The visionaries with true power and insight
have all been relegated to obscurity

The gurus in the limelight
offer little but cold comfort
to warm the existential numbness
that’s slowly taken over our souls

But there is the great equalizer: choice.
Will we continue to fruitlessly pursue
a relentless litany of unsatisfied desires
or take the reins of responsible maturity?

In the end, who gets to decide
the value and direction of our lives:
compulsive, greed-driven conformity,
or our magnificent human potential?

It would truly blow your mind
if you ever fully realized
how resplendently glorious
you absolutely (already) are

Living with conscious intention
yields often invisible, infinite rewards
and if we’re up for the challenge,
the truth is all ours to discover.

Crass Gossip: Cheeky Wednesday

A wedding, a peen, potential rehab, crying over boobs, spurs, and daddy’s media meltdown! Well, it must be Wednesday’s gossip, chock full of despair and body parts. Cover yourselves up, for goodness sakes.

1) So instead of Stifler’s mom, maybe it was Stifler’s bong? American Pie star Seann William Scott entered a treatment center on Tuesday for “health and personal reasons,” which sounds a lot like “exhaustion,” or “undisclosed illness” or whatever people do right before “living in the celebrity rehab house” is listed next to their name. [People ]

2) Ryan Phillippe’s ex-wife will maybe, probably get married next weekend. The mother of Ryan Phillippe’s children will wed Hollywood agent Jim Toth at her Ojai Valley home. 100 guests are expected to attend, but it’s unconfirmed if Ryan Phillippe, who was once married to his Cruel Intentions co-star, will be in attendance. I imagine this is all Ryan Phillippe ever wanted throughout the duration of his marriage — acknowledgment for his copious achievements. (This is all snark. There is no love for n’er-do-actor, Ryan PeePee, as you guys call him.) [Radar]

3) If I were Anderson Cooper‘s peen, I’d be insulted that Playgirl is only offering $10,000 for pictures of me. You would think that the most highly coveted, closeted, collectible shot of a silver fox peni would at least get a cool $100,000. Right? Instead they’re offering ten grand to anyone who can get a naked shot of the Coop’s little coop. So Anderson, I’d maybe get a bouncer and a velvet rope for those intimate moments in the john. VIP takes on a whole new meaning. [Popeater]

4) As long as we’re talking about nakedness we should talk about Vanessa Hudgens‘ nakedness, or no, not ever at all. What goes on with these young people and all the random frequent nakedness? Is there an age that just says, “Now the entire world must see my boobs. It’s World Boobs day!” Does this happen? I think it does. So, stop it, young boob flashers. Joe Francis doesn’t need the validation. Thanks. [Popeater]

5) Eva Longoria is still crying over that spur in her hide. She says the break-up has been “hard,” “very hard.” I say buck up Eva, you’re amazingly hot and while I can’t encourage another season of Desperate Housewives, you can do better than a cheating ball player. Just ask all those other Basketball Wives on the VH1 Reality Cheetos channel. It’s like the graveyard of infidelity over on that show, but at least on yours, Teri Hatcher just falls down a lot. She does, right? Isn’t that show full of pratfalls and gardeners? [Allure]

6) Flipped their wigs. So the husband of Teresa Giudice of Real Housewives of New Jersey fame, Joe Giudice, got into some sort of brawl in the Dominican Republic along with the two sons of fellow cast member Caroline Manzo. The beat-down resulted in fractured limbs and lacerations of two patrons not connected to the show or the “Prostitution Whore” cast-mates. Hmm, Dominican Republic, Real Housewives of NJ, and a beat-down…is everyday an Al Pacino movie for this group?! Well, yes. [Radar]

7) This is just a weird one. What do you do when your baby mama, who’s also your brother’s baby mama, has been living in your mother’s house for nearly twenty years and it’s just dawned on everyone that this situation is a bit awwwwkward? Well, you try and get her evicted, naturally, because what you really needed is a little separation (years ago), and maybe not to have your kids be siblings and cousins all at once. Confusing. Well, this is what’s happening with Jermaine and Randy Jackson whose baby’s mama (plural) has been living in Katherine Jackson’s LA compound. [TMZ]

8 ) Rihanna is hashing out her daddy issues in the new issue of Vogue. She’s upset her father gave up details about her to the media. And to that I introduce you to Michael Lohan. It could always be worse. As an aside, girl has an awesome body, and the dress is to die…but not digging the Crazy Couture-a-Circus Ronald McDonald ‘do. Enough.[Vogue]

9) Soulmate of the Biebs, Selena Gomez, giggled her way through a Z100 interview where she discussed the hordes of haters who’ve cropped up due to their gummi-bear inspired coupling. She says, “It hurts, it really does. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong.” Aww, Selena. Pout-face. Sniffle-giggles. It gets better. Wait until you break up and he starts dating Sean Penn’s current girlfriend, Scarlett Johansson! Yes, this is really happening. Ew. [Z100 New York ]

10) I can blame Ke$ha Zingbats for not having any talent, for having one of the most annoying songs ever recorded and played ad nauseum for an entire year, and for basically appearing out of nowhere and doing virtually nothing yet becoming inexplicably popular, but I can’t blame her for possibly making a poor bikini choice. After all, you get in that room with the florescent lighting with a few of your girlfriends and perhaps a little tequila to steel your nerves and you emerge with something people are too polite to say is horribly, terribly wrong for your body shape. It happens to the best of us. This is why Ms. Fingies takes her mother with her during the bathing suit trials. Moms always gives the truth…brutally. [Popeater]

[Top image via Entertainment Tonight]

Career Center: Handbook for the Recently Jobless

If you are like me, you spent some time in your twenties jumping from job to job, and then found “the job” where you decided to settle in and hang out for a while. If you have been at your current job for more than five years, this article is for you.

While this article can apply to any line of work, my experience is in IT, so that’s my focus. What I have learned is, there’s no “career counselor in the sky” who is going to help you get the skills you need to stay employed. You can’t count on your employer to pay for classes, and you can’t count on anyone to let you know what’s going to be the industry standard in the next five to ten years.

What does this mean? This means you have to actively manage your career and your skills. Aw, man! I know. It’s a pain. But if you are considering taking a break from actively managing your IT career, just remember one word: COBOL.

While this ’50s-era programming language is still used today, it symbolizes the way a seemingly omnipresent technology can be in demand one moment and out of fashion the next.

What happened to me? I worked at one company for fifteen years, and had many different roles — system administrator, webmaster, network manager, team lead. In the end, I was laid off and left with skills that were not too attractive to employers as they once were.

What should I have done? A few things. First, I should have kept track of what skills employers are looking for, and getting trained in those skills on my own time and my own dime. I thought that because I was really good at what I did, that was enough. Wrong-O. After getting over the shock of being laid off, I took out my annual reviews where I listed all the things I had done each year, and then compared that to what I saw in listings on Dice.com and Monster.com What a wake-up-call.

Next, I should have been maintaining a network of contacts outside of my employer. I did a half-hearted job of this and did not have a strong network of people who could help me find my next job when I needed it. I ended up working with recruiters and while that worked for me, it took me much longer to find the right recruiter than it would have if I had had someone to refer me to them.

Last, I should have been looking outside my company for my next job long before I started my job search. I knew things were winding down, but I still waited to try to find a job until a point about a year before I was laid off.  It just so happened that the very time I started looking for jobs was the beginning of the massive waves of layoffs during the recession, so score one for my impeccable timing.

Here are some things I am doing today.

  • Schedule time to keep up with industry trends

If you want to avoid being overrun by shifting technologies, you need to keep up with news. Spend some time reading about trends in your line of business, and about trends in your line of work. I subscribe to newsletters from Microsoft (since I do a lot of work on Windows) as well as Sun, EC Council, eWeek and c|net. Keeping in touch with trends in your line of business helps you know what’s coming.  Compare what you read in the press with what skills are listed in current job openings.

  • Lateral moves are not bad moves

If you want to stay at your current employer and there’s a way to move to another department or division, that’s a great way to get some on the job training. I used this strategy several times in my career to get out of a position that was not challenging, while getting experience that would be valuable later on. These days, I am still doing technical work, but I’m also doing project manager and team lead work.

  • Bite the bullet and pay for your own training.

Unless you’re looking to move into an entirely different career (and start over from zero), avoid training yourself in something entirely new. It’s more efficient to build on what you already know — for example, if you are a data base analyst, learning java or c++ so you can code stored procedures is a great way to extend your skills. Again, look at Dice and Monster and see what skills are listed in current job openings. That’s your clue when thinking about what training to sign up for. I like to keep an eye on the offerings at the local community college — the price is right and the time investment is small. I was lucky to take a c++ class taught by one of the people who wrote the language, and now is teaching the language in her retirement.

  • Spin interviews the right way.

I emphasized my participation in beta programs (Windows 7, anyone?) and the breadth of my knowledge. When someone asked me why I stayed at my last job for such a long time, I told them that the work was challenging, and because technology kept changing, it was like having a new job every year, without having to start over at a new company. I told them how I made a difference for my former employer, by saving money, eliminating outages, etc.

  • Your resume is not cast in stone.

Instead of a chronological resume, try writing an experience resume. This type of resume documents the value you brought to former employers — projects completed, deadlines met, budgets managed, costs saved — rather than the particular skills you used to accomplish those goals. You can include your skills, of course; they’re part of your history in the industry. But don’t present them in such a way as to indicate they’re the reason you should be hired.

It’s Time to Update Your Twitter Settings

Twitter finally gives you the option to use full time HTTPS.  This will encrypt all of your traffic between your computer and Twitter’s servers making it more difficult for people to intercept or hijack your session with Firesheep or other tools.

To enable this feature:

  • Login to Twitter
  • On the upper right you should see your avatar and username.  Click this.
  • Select Settings
  • Click the check box next to “
  • Click Save
  • Enter your password to verify

That’s it, now you use HTTPS all the time.  Keep Tweeting those Crasstalk stories.

Source and screenshot Engadget.

Denton Was Right

It was just the execution that was wrong.

From Quantcast, first you can see that total page views are down.


Next you can see that visits are down.

But! Page views per person are way up.

If they hadn’t driven everyone away with the terrible bugs, non-working comments and notifications and pages that don’t load right, they would have the same number of people all clicking on more pages.  The idea worked but they lost the people.  The self imposed deadline to roll out a non-functional site killed a perfectly good plan to increase page views per person.

Top image from Faith Mouse.