Daily Archives: February 11, 2011

40 posts

Afternoon Numbers

18 comments

The markets remained relatively calm today with the DJIA gaining 43.97 (.36%) to end at 12,273.26.  The NASDAQ ended up 18.99 (.68%) at 2,809.44 and the S&P500 finished at 1,329.15, up 7.28 (.55%).

Trading was generally upbeat on news of Mubarak’s resignation but that optimism was tempered by worries of decreased productivity as Crasstalk replaced Crosstalk as a leading timesuck among white-collar employees.  Productivity is expected to decline in the coming weeks as the Crasstalk brand expands into other areas, including Facebook and Twitter.

Comment was unavailable from most major analyst firms as their receptionist staff was, fittingly enough, commenting on Crasstalk.  Open thread below.

Crasstalk Ambient Mix Numero Uno

19 comments

trippy earth

Hey guys! So I’ve climbed aboard this rusty, noble vessel of a blog as we sail into uncharted waters. It’s been a hectic week, so we could all probably use an audio chill pill, right?

Accordingly, I made a lil’ playlist that just scrapes the surface of the vast, soothing, tropical, haunted world of ambient, electronic, and “h-pop” (hypnagogic pop) music. All sorts of moods, seasons, and eras are used as inspiration, but they all share a submerged, Dad’s-old-VHS quality. The magic of these songs lies not so much in their ability to recapture a specific moment in time (i.e. mom’s old workout tapes, early software infomercials, TV theme song intro music) but rather in the ways they evoke our spiritual nostalgia of the half-remembered past–and the ones who do it best make music that’s never boring and clear of schlock (unless they’re incorporating kitsch into their overall sound, but I’d like to think it’s done artfully). In fact, unless you’re predisposed to disliking this sort of abstraction, I’d say it’s pretty damn beautiful.

Anyway, here’s where you download. Some of these tracks are weirder than others. Playlist below, if you’re curious ahead of time.

  1. Dylan Ettinger – “The Waterfront”
  2. Kohwi – “Tides”
  3. Ducktails – “Roses”
  4. Outer Limits Recordings – “Plastik Child”
  5. James Ferraro – “Killer Nerd”
  6. Skyramps – “Flight Simulator”
  7. Skyramps – “Dripping Water Hollows Out a Stone”
  8. Emeralds – “Science Center”
  9. Monster Rally – “Cuban Velvet”
  10. Oneohtrix Point Never – “Returnal”
  11. Rangers – “Woodland Hills”
  12. Matrix Metals – “Flamingo Breeze”
  13. Stellar OM Source – “Fantazia”
  14. Stellar OM Source – “Dynamic of Here”
  15. Stellar OM Source – “Rites of Fusion (feat. Oneohtrix Point Never)

It’s not like I’m am “ambient music expert” or anything–there’s just so much out there that few people have heard. So go on, give it a whirl. Who knows, maybe there’s a musical secret waiting to be discovered by you in this playlist! I’ll make more if there’s any interest, and please please please make recommendations if you have. Sharing is caring, etc.

ETA: If you want a preview of general aesthetic at work here:

JAMES FERRARO – LAST AMERICAN HERO, Pt. 3 from OLDE ENGLISH SPELLING BEE on Vimeo.

What’s next for Egypt?

21 comments

I am cautiously optimistic regarding a new government in Egypt. I am extremely worried that the military will step in to fill the void. I’m not the only one:

“I hoped for a peaceful transition of power which followed the law, so I am worried about this move. This is what the people want, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good for them. This is a very worrying time and the people who are celebrating now should stop treating this like a soccer match. They just wanted to get the president to step down, but they weren’t thinking about the ramifications. The army must give an exact declaration of what they will do. The only legal authority now is from members of parliament. If the army says that they will dissolve our parliament then we will have no constitution, no government and no vice-president. I’ve just been out onto the streets and everyone is waving flags and sounding horns. Most of my friends are not happy about this, because we don’t like the idea of the army taking power. We don’t need another 60 years of military rule.”

– Maged Salib, Cairo

(via BBC)

Phone envy

59 comments

I am so behind the phone times, it’s not even funny.  OK, laugh at my Motorola RAZR if you will.  I don’t mind.  It’s been a great phone for lo these many years, but it’s starting to tell me that quitting time approaches.  Fritzy screen, no battery life, dropped calls (relating to the fritzy screen, I’m sure).

All the cool kids seem to have these smartphones where they can play games and watch movies and start their cars.  That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?  My RAZR can make calls and send texts.  Not a real multi-tasker.

My carrier is Verizon, which informs my choice of phones.  Now, before you say some other carrier is better / cheaper / faster / a “sure thing” on the first date, let me tell you that I’ve tried a few different carriers and for me, Verizon is the winner.  Your mileage may vary.  Please consult your physician.

The contenders for the New Miss Manbadly Phone 2011 Award are:

Motorola Droid X

This one is a festive little performer, isn’t it?  HDMI output, records 720p video, 4.3″ display, bluetooth and wi-fi.

Ignore the product website, coded by Satan in Flash with some of the most annoying visual and audio effects available.  At least one can turn the audio off on that website.  Too bad the vertigo-inducing spinning phone effects can’t be quelled, too.

.

HTC Droid Incredible

Same Satanic product website as the Droid X, so I guess that evens the playing field.

Also has bluetooth and wi-fi, with the added bonus of bluetooth stereo connections.  That’s fun.

Also acts as a speakerphone, which is a must as far as I’m concerned.  As far as I can tell that feature is missing on the Droid X.  Has a camera but no HDMI output.

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Apple iPhone

Ha ha, just kidding.  I wouldn’t buy an iPhone.  I own an 5th gen iPod shuffle and that’s enough Apple for me, thanks.

So, kids, I open it up to you.  Recommendations?  Thoughts?  I’m more concerned with features and reliability than cost at this point, so if you’ve got stories, share ’em!

Scrubbed, Sucked, Burned – And This Time, Russell Brand Is Not Involved

38 comments

I’m back. 

The Groupon was $55.00, and offered a skin consultation, a mask, and my choice of microdermabrasion or a glycolic peel.  The full value was close to $300.00, and I expected to tip at least $50.00, so total expense was $105.00.

The place was a former superintendent’s apartment in a fancy co-op building on Central Park West.  It was furnished as such – very warm and welcoming, with real artwork and comfy chairs.  This relieved me, because I anticipated cold sterility in the décor, and that would have applied to the customers as well.  Why are some of these places so guy-hostile?  We have pores too!  Stevie Wonder’s Send One Your Love was on the stereo.  Nice!

I settled in to wait, but I was the only one there.

The “doctor” who saw me was not a dermatologist – I’ve never seen a ruffled lab coat, but she had one.  She looked like Colbie Callait, who I love, but then I worried a bit that maybe she smoked pot.  (I think that if Colbie and Jack Johnson shared a bong, the cloud would be so thick that LA would have a blizzard in July.)

Dr. Colbie’s catlike eyes assessed me as she asked if I smoked, drank, and got enough rest. (No, HELL YEAH, No.)   Vell, she said in her Russian accent, there’s a lot we can do to feex you up.

And she did!  After a thorough cleansing that made every pore feel like it contained a French Gypsy,  she started with the microdermabrasion.  She decided this for me, because the fact of the matter was she thought I needed both.  The only thing with the microdermabrasion was that some of the stuff got on my teeth and it sure is gritty.  Otherwise it was just like having a vacuum suck out your pores.  Then she put on a glycolic solution, followed by a glycolic moisturizer. Eet vill steeng, Dr. Colbie told me. This was held in place by some gauzy pads.  She left and shut out the lights.  I wanted to fake-yell Get it off! Get it off it burns like FIYAAAA! but it seemed like Dr. Colbie didn’t really have a sense of humor.

Alone in the dark with my face a-blazin’, I wondered if I’d look like Samantha from that episode of SATC when she got a peel and her face looked like strawberry jam.  The music switched from Stevie Wonder to what Mike calls Black Sex Music: R. Kelly’s When A Woooooman Loves segued into a Rick James and a sista moaning Fire and Desire, which had me weeping tears of hilarious irony.  After an eon, Dr. Colbie returned.

You steenging? she wanted to know.

Not too bad. I thought I could sense her disappointment through the bandage.  She removed them, got me cleaned up, and showed me a mirror.

Pink.  I was pinker than icing on Julia Allison’s cupcake.  But it was a very clean pink.  There was a residual tingle.  When she left the room, I replaced the mirror on the shelf next to books, and being a nosy parker, I had a peek at the titles.  What Spas Do Wrong, Upselling!, Marketing Spa Products.

She obviously had memorized every one, because she gave me the hard sell on a glycolic night cream.  I paid $40.00, and later found out that it retails for $28.50!  But it did get very, very good reviews online.  Whatevs.  She told me how to use it, so I guess that’s worth something.

I would go back, but I would NOT pay $300.00 + tip even though I know that’s going rate.  My skin feels smooth, and looks (pinkly) terrific.  Random note – on the way back, THREE random strangers either said hello or chat me up in the subway and the elevator.

So! Those of you with ladyflowers – your real problem is makeup, if you wear it, and your skin is thinner than mine.  Pick one or the other, but don’t go for the double whammy.

Gentlemen – your problem is that you don’t exfoliate at all, ever, and those of you who do don’t do it often enough.  Your mug is probably home to a few blackheads and dry patches.  Get rid of them.  When you go a-male bonding, tell the guys at The Swarthy Salty Sea Succubus that it’s so you don’t cut yourself when shaving your manly man beard.

Life Science

26 comments

Whenever I tell people I’m interested in biological research, I nearly always hear, “Oh, are you going to cure cancer?” There is a winking intonation in this question. We won’t hold you to it, they say with their friendly smiles. I either respond with my easy refrain – “I’m more interested in function than health” – or a laugh and a shrug that drips with faux-modesty. That mantra ignores, of course, that understanding of function leads to technology.

These days, the vast majority of biological research is designed to create product. A cancer drug, an anti-aging technique, a soybean resistant to disease. Why? Because research is expensive – wildly so. No corporation will waste billions on research without an eye toward application. It reminds me of a creation of Margaret Atwood: Crake, a genius whose pragmatism is beyond the reach of empathy towards individuals. “Grief in the face of inevitable death. The wish to stop time. The human condition.” This is what biotech sells. Only the rich can afford it. The rest of humanity is left praying for a trickle down, decades after initial production – AIDS drugs, vaccinations. Voodoo medicine.

“Oh, are you going to cure cancer?” When I was in high school – long before I had much in the way of scientific predilection – I volunteered quite a bit. I spent some time with an organization that worked with pediatric oncology patients and their families. I played with kids before and during their chemo – puzzles, block games, cards. Exhausted parents would thank me as other volunteers whisked them away to ask how they were holding up.

While with the kids, I usually forgot everything, but every once in a while something would jolt me back. A needle bruise on a tiny arm, tear tracks on a mother’s face, a spot of blood from a bloody nose on a pair of light-up sneakers that could fit in my hand. The phone calls telling me my scheduled visit would no longer be needed. I would leave and sit in my car in the parking lot, slumped with exhaustion. I still remember the numbing tingle on my hands from where the steering wheel stitching dug in.

“Oh, are you going to cure cancer?”

Lunchtime Poll

71 comments

So, this is what’s called a lunchtime poll.

You inherit 5 million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they’re going to blow it up in 2 days. What do you do?

There are no stupid questions. Except for this one.