POTUS

9 posts

An Open Letter to Lieutenant General H.R. McMaster

An open letter to Lieutenant General H.R. McMaster, currently serving in the White House as National Security Advisor to the President of the United States.

H.R. McMaster, you should be ashamed to repeatedly stand up in front of reporters and lie for the President. You used to command the finest cavalry regiment in the US Army, a regiment I was proud to serve in for two years. Now, I am ashamed for you and the regiment every time I see you sell your soul for a president without basic human decency, judgement or probity. Continue reading →

As if You Needed More Evidence, Glenn Beck Is a Crazy Person

We wonder if those America jeans, or the gold shilling isn’t going so well? We wonder this because Glenn Beck, who’s never been known for being the sanest person to ever set foot out of Fox News, probably needs to stop consuming so many crazy biscuits like immediately. He’s nearing some sort of meltdown. And we imagine if or when it comes, it won’t be pretty. In fact it may require a litter box. Continue reading →

President Obama is Having Lunch with Mitt Romney Tomorrow

When did they stop putting Foie Gras and Crème Fraîche in these things?!

Oh, good gracious. We imagine this will be like having lunch with the jerkoff from high school whose mom plays Bridge with your mom, so now you’re obligated to eat with this guy so you can hear all about his sensational plans to travel/go to cooking school/open up a hot dog stand at the baseball stadium or whatever, now that he’s unemployed. You can’t make anyone any promises, but sure, yeah, you’ll see if there are any openings at your company — perhaps in the research lab testing Styrofoam and pantyhose. No, not really, but what can you do? Continue reading →

An Open Letter to President Obama from a Member of the 47%

President Barack Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

I know you are busy with your reelection campaign, but I felt the need to write you this very important letter. In 2001, I became part of the 47% that Gov. Romney was talking about at that fund raiser in Florida. I’m sick. Very sick. I recently had open-heart surgery and am currently on the waiting list for a kidney transplant as mine have shut down. Continue reading →

Will He or Won’t He? Chris Christie, Coy Media Darling

I think we all just won a date with Chris Christie. Well, that’s what the media would like anyway. Sure, yes, we get it. The Republican presidential candidate field is littered with wishy-washy, strange jokers, who can’t go more than two weeks without some sort of gaffe, image problem, or just plain inability to connect with more than just the Tea Party. So some Republicans are frustrated, but even more to the point, the media is just beside itself with trying to latch onto a candidate that actually offers a consistent message, and a measure of stately, unshakeable, staunch republicanism that can actually take Obama to the mat.

Enter the makings of a savior, Chris Christie. Continue reading →