unhealthy eating habits

Is Obesity Not An Inalienable Right?

I’m sitting here in my cubicle eating the last of my homemade Pimento Mac n’ Cheese when the RSS feed shows me a headline America Sees Its Obesity Rates and Raises Them. I clicked the link and shoved a few more gulps of gooey goodness down my gullet. “This ought to be rich”, I say aloud to no one but my empty Tupperware. Why do I have this sinking feeling that my state scored high on this list? Why do I keep telling myself I’ll go ride my bike after work today? (just like I said yesterday) Why is this even news? I have so many questions. Do I run the risk of coming off like Rosanne Rosannadanna when I ask: “What’s the Big Problem With Fat People?” Continue reading →

Welcome to the Super Squats Club

Up to it, down to it, fuck bitches that don’t do it, we do it cause we use to it, now lift motherfucker, lift. In lifting as in drinking, mantras help. Now chug that wheatgrass shot like a real woman and lift wit yo legs, gurl.

I’m assuming you’re now drunk on anti-oxidants? Which doesn’t mesh with the pain in your thighs and have got you feeling ornery? Good, I’ll get some honest dirt out of you!

Welcome to the Super Squats Club. Your weekly corner to track your (non) workouts, bitch about Becky from Boot Camp, and share the latest (safe) dieting dirt with the snarkiest fools around. Might as well enjoy workout hell. The latest Harvard Business Weekly reports that 70% of winning the interwebz is looking good. We’re on a mission critical assignment here.

One rule to remember, people get sensitive bout their fitness –ish so be nice! It’s like discussing my momma…I may call her Sloppy Cunt but it’s Ms. Jackson to you.

You in? And with that, we’re off. I may bring friends next week if you’re good!

Grand Rounds: Phat Edition

Today we sit on the couch watching Penguins of Madagascar and eating Girl Scout cookies whilst perusing medical news related to obesity.

Does adding sugar to virtually every processed food contribute to obesity? Consumption of added sugars (sugars not naturally occurring in foods) has increased along with BMIs over the last 30 years says an AHA study. Does this correlation equal a causation? Epidemiologists say likely. Big Sugar says no.

Too little sleep makes you overeat. More evidence that adequate sleep is important. This lines up with other studies that show lack of sleep (often related to shift work) can contribute to obesity and diabetes. The 20 pounds I put on working nights confirms the hypothesis.

Religion has been linked to obesity in young adults. It’s not clear what the causative factors are. I suspect Peggy Hill’s Frito Pie. Stick with the Lutefisk, but don’t light a match in the bathroom.

A University of Missouri researcher has found a plant fat that may help reduce deep belly fat that leads to the health complications of obesity. Hopefully it won’t cause anal leakage like the last time we got our hopes up.

Get up off your lazy ass!

And finally, Eric Cartman was right.

Lean Cuisine

1 comment

In between fits of stuffing my face with heifer nonsense like sour cream & onion chips, pizza, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (which I insisted that my boyfriend buy recently even though I had coffee-flavored Hagen Das by whining, “But I want treats inside of my treats!”), and anything that is composed entirely of carbs (and fortified with omega-3 fatty acids so it’s, like, healthy!), I like to eat Lean Cuisine. Seriously. I fucking love this stuff.

If my body wouldn’t revolt, I would have a diet that consists entirely of this lemon pepper fish, grain cereals, and red wine. Actually, that sounds like it would make for a decent diet. I’ll go to the supermarket and buy like 15 of these (and some cheap-ass wine) and live like this until all of my final papers are done.

Sounds healthy and adult-like. What could go wrong?