5 posts

Alert! The Cold Stone Creamery is Not for the Diet Conscious

The creator of the Cold Stone Creamery PB&C Shake is probably a monster. No, not a truly evil spectral force, but simply a diabolical, fat-creating, franchise chain gloating, garden variety capitalist gnome. How else to describe the decision to blend chocolate ice cream, milk, and peanut butter into a cup of sin and decadent blasphemy? At 2,010 calories (and with “153g of sugar,” screamed Gooch!), it’s a wonder how any of it just doesn’t clog your arteries within the first luscious sip. I imagine he’s somewhere sitting with tubs full of chocolate and PB in talks on how to expand it all into grocery store sales. You dastardly creamy saturated fat shilling hobgoblin!

Well, let’s be fair, this isn’t exactly a novel idea as informs us. Continue reading

“World’s Heaviest Mother” to Lose Weight

Anyone remember Donna Simpson? In case you don’t, she is the woman who aspired to weigh 1,000 pounds. She’s also the Guinness World Record holder for the heaviest woman to give birth. She only made it to roughly 600 pounds, and now she’s making you all kiss that Donna goodbye! Having recently gone through a bad breakup with the man who fed her, she’s decided to turn her back on her 15,000-calorie-a-day diet. Continue reading

This Is Why You’re Still Fat

If you’ve ever tried to lose weight, you know how frustrating it is to hear the simplistic ‘eat less, exercise more’ advice. Your personal experience flies in the face of this seemingly straightforward equation. Certainly in a vacuum, eating less and exercising more works. However, our bodies are an open, interactive systems, and rarely cooperate with simple math. Continue reading

Diet Soda Can Make You Fat

Yes, diet soda is probably as bad, if not worse, for your waistline as regular soda with high-fructose corn syrup or sugar.

Two separate studies released at a recent meeting of the American Diabetes Association have similar findings. One study followed humans drinking two or more diet sodas a day who developed larger waistlines than a control group. The second study followed mice that maintained significantly higher blood sugar levels than the control group. Continue reading

Welcome to the Super Squats Club

Up to it, down to it, fuck bitches that don’t do it, we do it cause we use to it, now lift motherfucker, lift. In lifting as in drinking, mantras help.  Now chug that wheatgrass shot like a real woman and lift wit yo legs, gurl.

I’m assuming you’re now drunk on anti-oxidants?  Which doesn’t mesh with the pain in your thighs and have got you feeling ornery?  Good, I’ll get some honest dirt out of you!

Welcome to the Super Squats Club.  Your weekly corner to track your (non) workouts, bitch about Becky from Boot Camp, and share the latest (safe) dieting dirt with the snarkiest fools around. Might as well enjoy workout hell.  The latest Harvard Business Weekly reports that 70% of winning the interwebz is looking good. We’re on a mission critical assignment here.

One rule to remember, people get sensitive bout their fitness –ish so be nice!  It’s like discussing my momma…I may call her Sloppy Cunt but it’s Ms. Jackson to you.

You in?  And with that, we’re off.  I may bring friends next week if you’re good!