In between fits of stuffing my face with heifer nonsense like sour cream & onion chips, pizza, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (which I insisted that my boyfriend buy recently even though I had coffee-flavored Hagen Das by whining, “But I want treats inside of my treats!”), and anything that is composed entirely of carbs (and fortified with omega-3 fatty acids so it’s, like, healthy!), I like to eat Lean Cuisine. Seriously. I fucking love this stuff.
If my body wouldn’t revolt, I would have a diet that consists entirely of this lemon pepper fish, grain cereals, and red wine. Actually, that sounds like it would make for a decent diet. I’ll go to the supermarket and buy like 15 of these (and some cheap-ass wine) and live like this until all of my final papers are done.
Sounds healthy and adult-like. What could go wrong?