These people would rather have the country go into default. Continue reading
shutdown
5 posts
Later today, the United States Senate will vote on and presumably pass a plan to end the government shutdown and raise the debt ceiling. The legislation will then go on to the House, where it is expected to pass as well. It will end up on President Obama’s desk, who will sign it.
Congratulations everybody, we’ve just barely avoided complete and total disaster.
Now it’s time for the fallout. Continue reading
Bruce O’Connell is an American job creator. All he does is grab his bootstraps, sit down at the table, and create jobs. That’s literally all he does! But thanks to the goose-stepping sturmtruppen of the National Park Service, Bruce O’Connell can’t create jobs no more.
See, Bruce O’Connell creates his jobs on federal land, by running a nearly century-old hotel on a lonely stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway. And since the National Park Service has been deemed non-essential, O’Connell’s hotel, the Pisgah Inn (the Peak of the Parkway!), is being forced to close. This is a pain in Bruce O’Connell’s big, swingin’ American dick, because the Blue Ridge Parkway offers some of the best leaf-peeping you’ll find south of the Mason-Dixon line, and seeing as it’s October, Bruce O’Connell was hoping to get PAID, cousin. Continue reading
Federal workers being unpaid, national parks closing, flu vaccines not being tracked: these are some of the many consequences of the federal government’s being shut down. Despite Newt Gingrich’s pledge, the National Zoo’s Panda Cam, which was deemed “non-esssential,” has gone dark. Continue reading
Another week, another dollar. I’m left jowl.
And I’m right jowl.
And this is World Roundup with Mark Shields’ Jowls. I’d like to apologize right off the bat for being a bit late with this post. Mark switched up his denture cream, and the smell in here, sweet living Christ the smell… Anyway, his doctor says it’s for the best or whatever but the fact remains: Fixodent finds a way to make an 81-year-old man’s mouth smell worse than it does in its normal state. And that’s gotta count as some kind of accomplishment, probably. Right jowl, I need a breather… Continue reading