Bruce O’Connell is an American job creator. All he does is grab his bootstraps, sit down at the table, and create jobs. That’s literally all he does! But thanks to the goose-stepping sturmtruppen of the National Park Service, Bruce O’Connell can’t create jobs no more.
See, Bruce O’Connell creates his jobs on federal land, by running a nearly century-old hotel on a lonely stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway. And since the National Park Service has been deemed non-essential, O’Connell’s hotel, the Pisgah Inn (the Peak of the Parkway!), is being forced to close. This is a pain in Bruce O’Connell’s big, swingin’ American dick, because the Blue Ridge Parkway offers some of the best leaf-peeping you’ll find south of the Mason-Dixon line, and seeing as it’s October, Bruce O’Connell was hoping to get PAID, cousin. Continue reading