2 posts

Hello Darlinks! I Have Some Gossip News for You

Hello Darlinks! This is my first post for Crasstalk, so expect some chaos (well, even more than normal for me, and “normal” chaos for me is like “background radiation” at Fukushima lately, so fasten your seat belts; I’ve been banned by Gawker Media six times {twice in one day: what do I win?} so I give it a week before someone here is slamming the door on my ass and NO I AM NOT DEFENSIVE SO STOP SAYING THAT).

Where was I? Oh, right, about to dish up some celebrity links. Now, there are those of you who may know one or two things about me, starting with “Self-referential.” You ain’t seen nothin’ yet! Because three times a week I get paid to do celebrity gossip roundups and I stick four of my own blogs right at the top of the links. Crasstalk is going to go in there too, in a couple of days. The rest are chosen on the basis of being either really amusing, really revealing, or fitting into an arbitrarily-chosen theme really, really well. Sometimes I make them all rhyme. Sometimes they’re all death-related. Sometimes it’s Stories Whose Headlines Can Be Contorted To Form Dirty Words When Read From Top To Bottom or whatever. But sometimes (it must be admitted, even by me) that it’s just the Top 15 or so Easy To Describe Stories From The Blogs I Like Best Right Now.

So now, having set the bar impossibly high, lowered it to the ground, and put it back up somewhere in the middle (it’s Jenga, with celebrities!) I present your gossip (and self-serving) links for the day:

Tee Many Martoonis (ManoloFood)

Spa No Go? Oh. (raincoaster)

Marilyn Monroe conquers the world! (Ayyyy)

Is this how the Spears family started? (Lolebrity)

Tom Cruise sees red (AgentBedhead)

And it turns out he’s not even related to Viggo! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Evan Rachel Wood lives up to his name (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Vanessa Hudgens in tampon chain fashion tragedy (CelebritySmack)

And then Trump asked for its birth certificate (CelebVIPLounge)

Joey Ramone lives on. On white trash (CityRag)

NPH has double trouble (DailyStab)

How many celebutards does it take to dance on the head of a mushroom? (DippedInCream)

Oh, Aniston, it’s SO mutual (EarSucker)

Mike Tyson is serious about this yoga thing, too (FitFabCeleb)

Elizabeth Hurley will never age. STOP IT ALREADY, BITCH! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Let me get this straight…If you sleep under Miley Cyrus’ armpits, you will never have nightmares? (HaveUHeard)

JSimp wigs out (HollywoodHiccups)

Shack up with Glee! (INeedMyFix)

Royal Wedding rehearsal shocker! (MathewGuiver)

Nicki Minaj drops the dildo for Britney (PoorBritney)

Fergie drops the “D-List Bomb” on the TSA (PopBytes)

Huh? Seriously? Kirstie Alley was onstage at the same time? (Swoonworthy)

Miley Cyrus appears to have a shin cellulite problem??? (TheSkinny)