Hello darlings. What’s that? You’ve missed me? Oh: You haven’t missed me. And you want me to get with the putting out for you, starting here and now. Okay, sure. I love it when you get all macho on me. And just look at that bitch Bacall, sitting there seething with jealousy.
She’ll never understand what we have together.
We have these:
Operation Global Media Domination: The Intellectual Situation Yay! Mai snob appeal: let me show u it! (raincoaster)
Pippa Middleton is Anglo-Canadian And, apparently, insufficiently matchy. Fixed it! (Ayyyy)
Beer Bottle Sabrage with Matt Stache Booze, boys and blades: a few of my favorite things (ManoloFood)
Ke$ha, Britney, and Paint Huffer Dude One of these things is not like the others, and when Britney looks like the sane one, you know you’re in trouble (Lolebrity)
How is the Summer of 2011 Shaping Up on TV? Not bad, actually. In related news, people still watch tv… (Crasstalk)
Carrie Bradshaw Math No matter how you add it up, it still doesn’t equal Manolos! (TheFrenemy)
Princess Beatrice’s hat has a higher net worth than you do. It is, in fact, becoming more fascinating by the minute and three of Prince Andrew’s exes have already asked it out. (AgentBedhead)
I don’t really know who this is, but I feel his pain. And he’s half-nekkid! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Lady Gaga found two suckers? That’s a sandwich I wouldn’t take a bite out of (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Linnocent will NOT be playing Carrie Bradshaw. Or Samantha either (CelebritySmack)
Annoying Taylor Swift is annoying even while annoyingly raising money for charity. How annoying. (CelebVIPLounge)
Cannes you find a plausible excuse to look at all these butts? Sure you Cannes. (CityRag)
P!nk vs Pink. I wouldn’t take that bitch on for love nor money. (DailyStab)
Divorcing a Kennedy is expensive, eh Arnie? $200,000,000 or so, it appears. (EarSucker)
Japan has some taste! It deported 50% of the World’s Most Annoying Celebrity Couple. (FitFabCeleb)
Linnocent is smokin‘. Not hot. (GirlsTalkinSmack)
David Beckham invites you to give your opinion on his shirtless picture. Why not give it to him? (HaveUHeard)
Evangeline Lilly had a boy. And somewhere, a hobbit weeps quietly (HollywoodHiccups)
Justin Timberlake vs Justin Bieber! I call this for Mozart (INeedMyFix)
Your sad, cougarish aunt has a book launch…oh wait, that’s a celebrity! (MathewGuiver)
Britney Spears has conspiracy theories? Can’t these people go back to arguing about Roswell and leave Britney ALOOOOOONE? (PoorBritney)
Nobody lights up his life anymore. Yeah, I could have taken the high road with a suicide story, but he doesn’t deserve it. (PopBytes)
Eric Decker brings the awesome to twitpics. I’ll overlook the twee hipsterism that is Animal Hats just this once. (SwoonWorthy)
Selah.
