Commentary

491 posts

Don’t Mess with the Sound Guy

When I’m not awesomeing it up all over the Internet, I’m mixing live bands for money. I have what’s referred to as a “house gig.” I don’t tour. I work in one venue, and bands come to me. Sometimes they’re well-known national acts, other times, they’re smaller regional acts. The bigger bands usually come with their own crew, and I just tell them where they can plug in and how to use the sound board. The smaller acts, I usually have to mix them. The following lists happens in both instances, but with the larger acts, I’m not the one who has to deal with it. On the smaller acts, it effects my job directly.

The Person Who Plays the Tambourine

There are two people who play the tambourine: The guy who has nothing to do during this song, and the girlfriend of the lead singer who wants to join him on tour, so she knows he’s not sleeping with the groupies. (Trust me – if I’m mixing you, you have no groupies.) Either way, you’re not helping the song. You’re just shaking the shit out of a bunch of metal plates near a microphone. That becomes the loudest, and most grating part of the song. And then, right afterwards, you step up to the mic to say something, so if I take the mic out so I don’t have to hear the tambourine, it’s still out when you speak, and now you know I wasn’t putting the tambourine through the P.A. And now you’re pissed, because nobody could hear the complex rhythms you were playing that like, totally made the middle eight of the song. If I’m lucky, you’ll mention this on mic so everyone can hear, which brings us to number 2:

The Band that Calls the Mix from the Stage

Don’t stand on stage and tell me how it could sound better. The speakers I use aren’t pointing at you. You really have no idea how it sounds. You’re getting the low end from the back of the cabinets, and then the reflection off the back of the venue. Of course you think it sounds like crap. Don’t start telling me how to fix it, because you are going to be wrong. Then we’re going to get into an argument and I’m going to look like a stubborn dickhead house sound guy who doesn’t know how to do his job. And, for the love of God, if you decide to poll the audience on the sound, I will shut you off. No audience has ever collectively decided that the reverb time is too long or anything else that might be slightly helpful. All they want is LOUDER. And if you take that to mean that I should turn it up, and tell me to do so on mic in front of everyone, you’re not going to get what you want. Barring some freak of physics, you’re loud enough. Probably too loud. And I have to do this shit for a living. If it becomes too loud, I will walk away. I have to listen to loud volumes for extended periods of time, and unlike the douches who are hanging out right next to the subs, I care about my ears. I put a lot of time and money into educating them. They are how I pay my rent. If I break them, I have to find something else to do for money. Four hundred drunk guys on the dance floor yelling “LOUDER!” are not worth my livelihood.

Keep Your Fucking Family Members Away from Me

That’s your brother playing guitar? Great. I’m not turning him up. I can hear him fine. I don’t need the whole night to be about him picking around on some chords. There’s also some guy singing. That part of the song is pretty important, too. If you keep coming up to me and telling me you can’t hear him, and each time I don’t turn him up, guess what? I’m not fucking turning him up. Nine times out of ten, this results in family member getting pissed, and then telling the guitar player it sounded like shit and they couldn’t hear him. Then I’m the jackass.

People Who “Do the Sound” at their Church

Please don’t come up to me with mix notes, or want to talk about gear. I haven’t been to your church, but I’m guessing you’re back in the corner with a tiny console, and you mix by telling the band that plays those super-awesome Jesus Rock songs to turn up their amps. You also probably read Mix Magazine and pour through Guitar Center catalogs searching for new gear. First off, Guitar Center sells crap. They’re the Best Buy of music. Second, my work buys my shit, and unless it breaks and can’t be repaired, it’s not getting replaced. I don’t keep up on the latest models of effects units because I ain’t getting one. When it’s time to buy a new one, I’ll spend the two hours it takes to research them, and then buy the one I want. I don’t need to study up on that stuff monthly. Also, unless your church is run by Rick Warren, what I do is on a completely different level than what you do. You have one guy speaking, I have five or more guys all doing loud shit. It’s very different.

The Audience

You see this big, expensive-looking thing with a bunch of lights and knobs on it? IT”S NOT A FUCKING COASTER. If your drink gets anywhere near it, I will send that Malibu pineapple off in the opposite direction. And, no, I’m not buying you a new one. Also, don’t stand right in front of me. I have to see when the guitar player decides to play an acoustic guitar on this song.

Tone Freak Guitar Players

My venue isn’t that big. We seat around eight hundred maximum. When I get a guitar player who needs to have his amp up all the way to get his tone, and can’t live with it facing away, or in another room with a mic in front of it, that means the show is going to suck. It’s going to be the an evening of trying to get everything up to the same level as your amp, until I just give up because, like I said earlier, I need my hearing. Then, I’m going to get a bunch of people telling me the guitar is too loud, and they’re going to be right. But I won’t be able to do anything about it. I hate these nights.

Bands that Screw Around During Sound Check

I’m good at my job. Really fucking good. I see a lot of acts and listen to a lot of mixes, and 80% of the time, I can put together a better mix. I don’t tell them that, because it’s not nice. (You know who has a great sound guy? Asleep At The Wheel. That guy doesn’t do sound check, and within the first half of the first song, has put together one of the better mixes I have heard.) I will make your band sound good. But I can’t just pull it out of my ass. I need like four songs, and I need you to play all your instruments. I also need you to play at something close to show volume. Most of the time, everyone walks through soundcheck, half-assing everything, and then come showtime, everything is different. The guitars are all louder, and the drummer is beating his kit like it owes him money. That means soundcheck was a complete waste of time. It’s always fun to un-mute the console and find out your mix isn’t working at all.

Most of the time, I love my job. Once in a while, I have to deal with these people. Then, I don’t love my job. Whatever. At least I’m not touring.

Baby Name Roll Call as Momof3 is Expecting…. 12 New Baby Chicks

In addition to hoarding silver and gold (thanks Glenn!), our family is preparing for the apocalypse by producing our own food. I have already started my veggie seedlings under grow lights, planted my kale in my raised beds and tomorrow or Wednesday twelve new baby chicks will be arriving via post — yes, they are mailed to me. They will be a welcome addition to the ten gals I have already.

I ordered from Mypetchicken.com the following breeds:

Buff Orphs Two Buff Orphingtons. These friendly, gentle birds are dual purpose — meaning good egg layers and good eating, but we will only use them for eggs. They aren’t flighty and are good egg layers. The only unfortunate thing about them is that their pretty buffed copper color really stands out on my lawn. It makes these trusting fowl a major target for hawks and other predators. The one I had last year, Gigi, bit the dust in the great fox massacre of 2010.

One Easter Egger. This is a hybrid variety of the Araucana breed that Martha Stewart made so famous. They lay blue, green or even slightly rose colored eggs — thus the name. When fully grown, they can look very different from each other. The distinguishing feature they all have is pale green legs. That is unique in the bird world.

Salmon Favorelle Two Salmon Faverolles. I’m very excited to be getting these beautiful birds. Very shy and sweet-natured, I’m going to have to watch out that these two don’t get picked on by the others. I will probably keep them under the heat lamp far longer than the others I am bringing in this week. Beautiful salmon colored feathers with some white lacing make these hens out to be some serious eye candy for the backyard. They are prolific layers of light brown to cream eggs.

Cuckoo Two Silver Cuckoo Marans. Another breed I am excited to add to the flock. These beauties lay dark chocolate brown-colored eggs. The eggs taste the same as all the others, but are stunning to behold.The birds are good natured and good layers.

Choc eggs

Sussex Three Speckled Sussex. Great layers of brown eggs and they are good cold weather layers. They tend to get heavy so they end up not being too flighty. Very curious in nature and will often come right up to you to ‘beg’ for a treat. Their speckled plumage offers protection from predators.

Two Wild Cards. Although I am a planner, I love surprises too. So I choose an assorted rare breed where My Pet Chicken gives me what’s available from a rare breed list. I’m hoping I don’t get a Naked Neck.

So I need some help naming these ladies. Girls names only please as I am guaranteed hens. The top twelve ranked names — vote with your Fonz — will get the honor of being my gals’ names. Names already accounted for: Roberta, Oprah, Carol, Hestia, Blaze, Pinstripe, Aimee, Eileen, Patsy and Judy. EDIT: These are names for chickens I already have.

Fun With Wingnuts: The United Nations is Coming for Your Children!

Nothing gets a wingnut angrier than the idea that someone, somewhere might threaten the Murican Constitution. Apparently the country (and in fact the whole world) is full of people who have nothing better to do than sit around scheming about how they are going to take away the rights of Real Americans who live in Real America.

A particularly menacing bogeyman in the wingnut mind is The United Nations. Formed after WWII to prevent the kinds of free for all human slaughter we had during the war, the UN has always been a source of deep right wing suspicion. It’s also always been a great source for fund raising campaigns for wingnut groups who promise to save you from the Blue Helmet Menace.

Watch out! They have guns they're not allowed to shoot you with.

The latest focus of bat shit insanity is the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. The Convention is so controversial that it has been ratified by every UN member except the US and Somalia. It is also supported by total assholes like Oxfam, UNICEF, and the Rhode Island State Legislature. Wingnuts claim that the Convention will rob parents of their rights and allow their kids to become Satanist abortion-addicts who can take them to court when they can’t borrow the car. In reality the Convention prohibits the use of children as soldiers, prostitutes, and porn stars. The only real problem for the US is that it prohibits the execution of minors, and I guess it is really important for us to be able to snuff out 14 year olds for some reason.

Fortunately for America parentalrights.org has stepped forward to keep the UN from dispatching troops to steal our kids and sending them to the EU for reeducation. These patriots have a You Tube account, and they are going to protect you from an organization that nobody listens to and that lacks any enforcement powers. They are also trying to introduce a constitutional amendment preventing enforcement of the treaty, but only Jim DeMint (lulz) seems interested. So what if the UN is trying to create a legal frame work that would punish those who force kids into the battlefield or the brothel, foreigners make us uncomfortable. I can’t imagine why every one else in the world thinks we are such a bunch of jerks. Here’s a little paranoia to get your red, white, and blue blood boiling.

LA’s Skyline Doesn’t Need Butterflies or Ads

I’ve seen the LA skyline from just about every possible angle and elevation. The city core has freeways that run on all sides of it and when driving by at the wrong time of day motorists are often going slow enough to be able to appreciate it for a time. When landing by plane LAX is far enough from downtown that you can see it as you approach and get a good perspective on it. It’s not that LA is best known for it’s city skyline, but it’s not known for having an unattractive one.

If a group fronted by Hanjin owned Korean Air gets its way the Los Angeles skyline will begin to resemble Las Vegas with all its glitz and tackiness. The plan is to build a 45 story hotel and adjacent 65 story office building and festoon each with an array of computer controlled LED lights that could form moving images of stars, butterflies and anything else the building management can think up. The project is budgeted at $1B.

The bottom 10 floors would show advertisements while the floors above 10 would show images. To make things worse the top 10% of each building would use the lights to display the major tenants and building owners’ names. It’s not uncommon for a major tenant to negotiate signage rights but the familiar names on buildings do not often scroll by in a stock ticker fashion.

The new buildings would be built where the Wilshire Grand Hotel now sits. The ground level advertisements would look like this:

The whole thing will just end up looking like a 13 year old’s MySpace profile if this is the direction things go.

Images: AC Martin and Christopher A. Joseph & Associates

Source LA Times.

They Used to Let Kids Play in Caves

Profound silence; silence so deep that even their breathings were conspicuous in the hush. Tom shouted. The call went echoing down the empty aisles and died out in the distance in a faint sound that resembled a ripple of mocking laughter.

“Oh, don’t do it again, Tom, it is too horrid,” said Becky.

“It is horrid, but I better, Becky; they might hear us, you know,” and he shouted again.

The “might” was even a chillier horror than the ghostly laughter, it so confessed a perishing hope. The children stood still and listened; but there was no result. Tom turned upon the back track at once, and hurried his steps. It was but a little while before a certain indecision in his manner revealed another fearful fact to Becky— he could not find his way back!

– Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

A comment by SusanBAwesome on an open thread, about visiting Carlsbad Caverns, reminded me of one of my best memories of childhood. See, as a kid my local Boy Scout troop would make an annual “caving” trip. I always looked forward to this trip. It was the highlight of the year.

We didn’t go to a place like Luray Caverns. Where we went, there were no handrails, or electric lights and there sure as shit was no gift shop. There was a hole…. in the side of a hill…. somewhere in central Pennsylvania. It was far from anything else. I remember we camped the night before in a field next to a cow pasture.

To access the cave, we parked our cars on the side of the road and climbed up the side of the hill. My high-tech spelunking equipment consisted of:

1 Philadelphia Phillies souvenir plastic batting helmet
1 K-Mart brand flashlight that my dad wired to a 6-volt lantern battery. (Do they even make those any more? Probably not.)
Duct tape. For attaching the flashlight to the helmet, natch.
Extra candles. Just in case.
Matches. Just in case.
1 waterproof match case
1 souvenir Philly Phanatic fanny pack, to carry my battery, candles and matches

When I think back, this sounds ridiculously crazy but at the time it made total sense. The souvenir helmet would protect my head, the big battery would last longer than D-cells. I was set!

So we got to the cave, and we went in. Now, when people think of caves, they think of giant caverns and passageways you can easily walk through. That is horseshit! Most real caves are nothing like that. These caves were tighter than a nun’s birth canal. Even us 12-year-old boys had to suck in our stomachs to fit through some of the spaces. Oh, and there was standing water everywhere. I’ll never forget the time we were crawling through a section on all fours and I looked up and there was a baby bat just hangin’ out six inches from my head. He was surprisingly cool with having a bunch of hellions tearing up his cave.

And tear it up we did. I don’t think you can really cause that much ecological damage to a cave just by crawling through it, but we were allowed to run wild. I still remember walking into a room and seeing one of the kids squatting in the corner. Apparently last night’s dinner wouldn’t wait. (When word got back to the dads about the cave-pooping…. there was hell to pay.)

But for the most part, the dads let us just wander off to explore the passageways. At least it seemed like it at the time. Maybe they were keeping an eye on us… but I doubt it.

Now that I think back to those cave trips, I wonder if they’d still let kids do that today. Would parents let their children wander through caves without adults holding their hands? And this was the early 90s. That’s not even a long time ago! Are we really changing that fast?

As an adult I think back to how my great-grandfather had worked around the mines all his life. He was an Italian immigrant who became a blacksmith for a mining company in West Virginia. His trade spared him from a life spent underground, but the world of mining was all around him (actually, he apparently was an organizer for the UMW). Kids not much older than us little Boy Scouts were actually working the mines back in the bad old days.

And now that I’m older, I think I am at least a slightly better person for having gotten a little taste of what it’s like to spend time under the Earth. I’m glad I never had to work in a mine, but I’m also glad that my parents and the other adults around us as kids didn’t take away our ability to explore the world in the name of keeping us always safe.

Why have a kitty?

Well, why not? Let’s understand something first. You never HAVE a kitty. The kitty has YOU. In The Sims 2, a dog goes from Stranger to Friend to Master, and a cat goes from Stranger to Friend to Mine. Someone at EA Games understands cats, really, REALLY well.

Oh, dogs are wonderful. There isn’t anything like a Golden Retriever or a Chocolate Lab or best of all, a German Shepherd. A Shep will give his life to protect you, your wife and kids. A cat will do this too. But it’s more like a favor than an obligation. I’ll never understand “dog people” vs. “cat people”, though frankly I think cat people are smarter. That said, I just love animals, and if my space was bigger, a German Shepherd puppy would be a lifelong friend of mine, well until his whiskers turned gray.

But cats. Especially smart breeds like Siamese or Maine Coons or Orange Tabbies. There is nothing like coming home to a furry friend who meows his face off to say hi. I pick up our Maine Coon Tuxedo cats every night when I come home, because they yowl if I don’t. Edmund rubs his head on mine, and Lucy buries her face in my neck. While they cuddle with me, when it’s Mike’s time to come home they stand at the door and bitch him out, like “Where the hell WERE you?!?!” Once that’s done, it’s all about dinner. Mike sings the “I got a can!” song and they yowl and it’s pretty damn hilarious. My life is kinda awesome because of this. Yeah, because cats are imperious and snotty and not affectionate. Not.

Let’s not understate dogs. A cop in Penn Station a couple of months back had a great conversation with with his canine buddy. Very politely, he said “Ouw, ouw ouw!” The dog looked at the ceiling and let out the most amazing , echoing “Arooooo!” I’ve ever heard. People applauded.

So both kinds of animals are Man’s Best Friend. Cats have dignity. Dogs have respect. Both are our very best companions.

Another crazy thing that cats and dogs both do is that they know when you’re sick and they sit right by you as you recover. They detest the smell of Nyquil and Robitussin, but it does not matter. That cat or dog will sit by you until you are well. Doctors have issued a clinical study that a purring kitty reduces stress. I’ll go out here and say that a dog laying his head on your leg does the same thing.

In short, it’s only an either/or thing if space and time is an issue. Dogs need more room and more maintenance. It’s not fair to either of you to have one if you can’t care for one properly. Get a kitty instead, if that’s your deal.

Koch Sucker: How Greed is Eroding Democracy

The Koch brothers are some extremely wealthy brothers whom inherited all their money from their father, Freddy Koch. They control Koch Industries, America’s second biggest company (it also sounds like the company a super-villain would own). The Kochs’ are some of the most callous, indifferent kinds of capitalists that you can find on the planet earth. They founded a political advocacy group in 2004 to lobby their political causes, American’s for Prosperity. Since its formation AFP was a major supporter of Republican candidates in the 2010 election cycle and is heavily involved in political activities aimed at reducing regulation of the oil and gas industry. During the summer of 2008, AFP funded a radio ad critical of a North Carolina U.S. Senatorial challenger, Democrat Kay Hagan, for her position on taxes and offshore oil drilling. During the 2010 election cycle, Americans for Prosperity claims to have spent $40 million dollars on rallies, phone banks, and canvassing, mostly for Republican candidates.

The Koch family has also donated vast sums of money to various other political think-tanks and institutions including the Cato Institute, the Federalist Society, the Mercatus Center, the Institute for Humane Studies, the Institute for Justice, the Alexis de Tocqueville Institution, the Institute for Energy Research, the Foundation for Research on Economics and the Environment, Heritage Foundation, the Manhattan Institute, the George C. Marshall Institute, the Reason Foundation and the American Enterprise Institute. The Kochs’ are, of course, extremely “pro-business” and significant supporters of “free-markets.” In June 2010 they held a large seminar entitled “Understanding and Addressing Threats to American Free Enterprise and Prosperity”. The invitation stated that “[our] prosperity is under attack by the current Administration and many of our elected officials” and “we cannot rely on politicians to [defend our free society], so it is up to us to combat what is now the greatest assault on American freedom and prosperity in our lifetimes”.

It becomes clear in the picture painted of the Koch family that they are simply industrial-capitalists with little or no concern for the welfare of, not even the most vulnerable and impoverished people, but all people who aren’t obscenely wealthy. Nothing is more indicative of this than the Kochs’ involvement with Scott Walker and his crusade to disenfranchise labour. Walker’s capitulation to Koch Industries was thrown into embarrassing relief when the satirical website, Buffalo Beast, successively had a prank caller call Walker and convince him that he was David Koch. The phone rings. The line is transferred to Walker’s office.

“Scott! David Koch. How are you?”

“Hey, David! I’m good. And yourself?”

Walker is super excited to hear from David Koch and proceeds to give him a detailed run-down of what’s going on, including some petty scheming to lock Democrats pay checks in their desk drawers. Walker mentions that Democrat Tim Cullens had often voted with him on pieces of legislation and “Koch” replies that he was going to give Cullens a call. However, Walker isn’t too sure this is a good idea because Cullens isn’t “one of us.”

What are we to take from that little turn of phrase, “one of us?” It’s a question of who Scott Walker thinks he is and who he is in office to represent. Enlightenment philosophy will tell us that the State raises humanity out of that horrible state of nature, of perpetual war. That the people of the state invest their personal sovereignty into a representative body and through their representative the people are present at the seat of government. But is it not more accurate to say that States only formalize this so-called “natural” warfare? Is it not more truthful to say that the war of person upon person isn’t natural at all but only comes into being through the Enlightenment ideology of Liberty, an ideology that pits everyone against everyone else in an eternal pursuit of liberty? The only difference is that his state of natural war can now be quantified, measured in precise dollar amounts, in the precise amount of the “have” and the “have-not.” To have is a right but to have is also to war because resources are finite.

This kind of attitude obviously doesn’t Jive with the free-market, corporate outlook on life which advocates the right to unrestrained acquisition of wealth. What is becoming increasingly obvious now is that politicians, by and large, only have their own self-interests at heart as well. When Walker quips that Cullens isn’t “one of us” he really means that Cullens doesn’t subscribe to the notion of perpetual warfare being waged on the have-nots by the haves and this is class warfare, let us make no mistake about it. Why else would it be necessary for corporate interests to spend so much money on politicking? It can only be because the logic of their politics is transparently “anti-person” in its “pro-business” stance.

Koch: You’re the first domino.

Walker: Yep. This is our moment.

What is most disturbing about the recorded conversation between Scott Walker and the fake David Koch is the way in which they know it is war. This is a coordinated effort to erode the ability of a majority to feed themselves, clothe themselves and house themselves and their families. It is a coordinated effort to disenfranchise labor, to steal the voice of people who actually work for a living. The end goal can only be to render the have-nots immobile, to trap them in a power relationship which exploits their needs for the very necessities of life. It is no longer about the working poor, or the lower classes; it is no longer about the “middle class” or the “upper-middle class,” it is about a desire to drive as many people into “have-not” status in order to become the fullest “haves” they can be. Fools like Walker think that he too can become part of the “have” club but the very logic of having implies that wealth will always be directed toward an increasingly smaller and smaller amount of hands at the exclusion of everyone else. Soon even the governorship will only pay minimum wage. The pro-business, neo-liberal agenda is hard at work all over the world so this is a concern to people of all nations, religions or whatever other affiliation you choose. Ultimately, democracy can only be rejuvenated if we demand that our politicians end their rampant collusion with corporate interests.

Buffalo Beast – Buffalo News – Koch Family – Body Politic Image – Hobbes Image

How to Survive the Coming Obamacolypse

America is doomed. The signs are everywhere. The economy is collapsing, America is declining in international influence, and the president is, um, ethnic. These are desperate times for Decent Americans© and desperate times call for desperate measures. Fortunately for you, I have scoured the internet to find out the tips that will help you survive the Hobbesian hellscape that will soon be America. Please print this article and post in it your bunker, rumpus room, or wherever it is you plan on riding out socialist/nazi/progressive Armageddon.

We don’t know exactly how America will go down, but let’s look at some of the more likely scenarios.

Chinese Take Over. Obama will sell out America to the Reds and we will all be forced to read The Little Red Book. Note: this will be more than most of us have read in a decade. We will be all forced into slave labor and uncomfortable uniforms. I’m not sure what is supposed to happen after this, but it involves foreigners, so it can’t be good.
New World Order. Obama will sell out America to rich, shadowy elites. The economy will be gutted and true patriots will be forced into concentration camps. We all get forced vaccinations and tracking chips. However, it looks like they will keep reality TV and beer flowing to hypnotize the masses, so it might not be that bad. Bonus, the government might finally get rid of your irritating cousins in Missouri.
Economic Peak Oil Anarchistic Collapse Thingy. Obama will sell out America to foreign economic interests. This is the fun one. Part Mad Max, part Wall Street Journal; this is the one that separates the men from the boys. Expect highwaymen, biker gangs, and (god willing) cannibals. This is a very ammo intensive scenario, and you will be able to barter your daughter’s virtue for 10 gallons of gas.
The Tribulation. Jesus is back and he’s totally pissed at Obama and all you commies who voted for him. Rivers of blood with patches of locusts are likely, unless you are raptured up at the beginning (you won’t be, whore). Guns aren’t particularly useful, but you might want to brush up on you Leviticus, because it’s probably going to be more of an Old Testament kind of deal.

What does one bring to the End Times? While it depends a little on the specific dystopian conditions you are facing, but there are always some key supplies useful for any fighter in the Army of the Righteous.

Guns, guns, and more guns. Buy ammo now because Hillary Clinton is conspiring to take you guns away. You can never have enough guns, and keep them unlocked and loaded so you can get to them right away when the thugs from the teacher’s union come to take you to patriot detention.
At least two years worth of overpriced, crappy dehydrated food. Put this in your basement in an area where it will inevitably get moldy and attract ants. This will piss of your spouse but they will thank you when martial law comes, if you are still married at that point. You can also grow a survival garden, but you will have to protect it from the hordes of marauding drug addicts that have fled the major cities.
That Glenn Beck book about the revolution. I guess the sex scenes are pretty lame, but a good way to pass the time until Rand Paul and Michelle Bachman can establish a new territorial government in Cheyenne, Wyoming.
Gold, gold, and more gold. Sure, gold is just another arbitrary symbol of value and has no intrinsic worth, but the lady on the shortwave told me I need some. However, you do get some kind of Twilight Zone hubris points if you starve to death in you basement surrounded by 50 pounds of the stuff.

Now you know what’s coming and you have your supplies. Let me give you a few tips

Stay away from FEMA! Even though they have the food, medicine, and shelter, somehow they are the bad guys in this and they will make you into Harry Dean Stanton in Red Dawn.
Your neighbors are the enemy, and must be dealt with accordingly. A crisis is no time for community cooperation (fucking progressives). This is every patriot for themselves even if it would be more beneficial for everyone to work together. Someone has to be the asshole on the block that suggests executing the Jenkins kid, be that asshole.
Shoot first; let the grand jury sort it out later. Look, maybe you got a little carried away, but the power had been out for 4 hours and there was no air conditioning. A jury of your peers will totally understand that you had to shoot Bob and take his cooler to survive.
Plan for the worst so you don’t have to put in the effort to make the best. We could probably avoid a social meltdown if we would all work together in a spirit of compromise and shared values, but who has time for that? Genuine efforts to make America a better place are so boring and non-violent. It’s a lot more entertaining complain about being the victim and troll your neighbors at a city zoning hearing by wearing a side arm.

So now you’re ready. If anyone tries to force you to gay marry or serve on a death panel you can resist just like Patrick Henry, if Patrick Henry had been a crazy, self-centered bastard. Be strong America. President Palin is only a couple of years away. Courage.

Your Thoughts Wanted: Sen. Evan Bayh, Glenn Beck and FOX News

Yesterday it was announced that former Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN) was joining Fox News as a “political commentator and analyst.” My initial reaction to this news was to frown and shake my head. I am, to say the least, not a fan of Fox News. For the record, I am also not a fan of MSNBC. But, I’ll get to that in a moment. I don’t watch Fox News, so this isn’t a criticism of their news coverage or political commentary. My objection to Fox can really be summed up in two words: Glenn Beck. My problems with this hatemonger are manifold, but I’ll just mention one. As a Jew, and, ahem, specifically a Reform Jew, I strongly object to Mr. Beck being given a national, mainstream platform to spew his barely cloaked Elders of Zion Jewish world control conspiracy theories.

Because “ratings matters,” I would prefer that my fellow Americans choose to express their disapproval of Mr. Beck by not watching Fox News so long as he is on the network. By joining Fox, Sen. Bayh, a centrist well-spoken and intelligent man, is not helping in this cause. This is particularly disappointing to me given the Senator’s involvement in No Labels, an organization founded by a bipartisan group of current and former elected officials, including Independent Mayor Bloomberg, former Republican Congressman Scarborough and former Sen. Bayh, who are “frustrated and concerned about the tone of politics” and believe “hyper-partisanship is destroying our politics and paralyzing our ability to govern.” Hmmm.

In thinking about this yesterday, I tried to understand how sharing a network with Mr. Beck furthers the goals of No Labels. When the Bayh news broke, my Facebook page exploded with comments- many echoing this sentiment. However, there were opposing views. Here is a comment from a friend and political activist: “But even No Labels has to have a conduit for promoting its message. Mass media is media for the masses, and influencing those masses is how we change the system.”

Ok. This is a valid point and it got me thinking. Now, let me move at this point, to why I dislike MSNBC, because it’s relevant here. First, I find MSNBC and Fox much too partisan and slanted in their reporting to be a news source for my tastes. I hate surprises. I’d prefer to have all the facts, mitigating and otherwise, on an issue before I start forwarding around while jumping on my high horse about it. But, the bigger issue I have with MSNBC is their role in mainstreaming and rehabilitating the noxious racist, Pat Buchanan.

For those used to seeing Pat joshing around with our favorite liberal lesbian, Rachel Maddow, here’s just a sampling of Mr. Buchanan’s less adorable beliefs in his own words:

After Sen. Carol Moseley Braun blocked a federal patent for a Confederate flag insignia, Buchanan wrote that she was “putting on an act” by associating the Confederacy with slavery: “The War Between the States was about independence, about self-determination, about the right of a people to break free of a government to which they could no longer give allegiance.”

On race relations in the late 1940s and early 1950s: “There were no politics to polarize us then, to magnify every slight. The ‘negroes’ of Washington had their public schools, restaurants, bars, movie houses, playgrounds and churches; and we had ours.

But, as I thought about my friend’s comment, it occurred to me that Mr. Buchanan does not say these things on MSNBC and doesn’t seem to say them much anymore at all. Hmmm again. So, now I’m asking myself: should Mr. Buchanan be shunned for his past horrid behavior or is it better that because of his appearances on MSNBC he seems to actually have moderated his statements, if not his beliefs? Is it better that, even if he secretly still believes them, he doesn’t say them anymore?

All of which brings me back to Senator Bayh, Glenn Beck and Fox News. So, now I’m conflicted and not sure where I stand. Is it possible that, simply by having individuals of Mr. Bayh’s caliber, Fox News may move away from commentators like Glenn Beck? Is it possible that Sen. Bayh’s participation may temper Mr. Beck’s more unacceptable statements, at least on his Fox News show? Is it better to take a principled stand against Beck and Fox News or to engage to try to change them?

Hmmm for a third time. What do you think?

Read More:

Evan Bayh joining Fox News

Glenn Beck’s “monstrous” Soros accusations rile Holocaust survivors, Jewish groups

Southern Poverty Law Center Report, The Second Wave: Return of the Militias, documenting Fox News and Glenn Beck’s race-based conspiracy theories

No Labels

Pat Buchanan in his own words

Senator Bayh on the issues

Michigan’s Budget Emergency Measures Create Hardship

Last Wednesday, Michigan’s Senate passed a bill that would allow the state treasurer to appoint emergency financial managers to municipalities and school districts that are in danger of failing. The bill was passed with a 26-12 vote and would permit them to fire local officials, dissolve union contracts, seize and sell assets, and eliminate services such as police and fire departments. The bill is now being handed over to a conference committee which will reconcile differences with the one passed by the House in February and then is expected to be signed by Gov. Rick Snyder.

While the debate for this bill has been linked in the media to Wisconsin’s fight to keep union collective bargaining rights, the real issue here is the fact that Michigan can appoint these managers who, while able to undermine the role of unions, are not elected and can wield powers normally given to elected officials, effectively nullifying their role.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

The emergency manager must have at least five years experience. They also must have experience in business, finance, and local or state issues. State Democrats tried to add amendments requiring that managers must have at least some background in education and whose salary must be capped at the rate of the governor, about $159,000. The Republicans struck it down.

The emergency manager’s contract, salary, and financial plan must be publicly posted as well as expenditures of $5000 or more. They would have the power to take over public services such as utilities like water and electricity. Furthermore, they would also be able to dissolve entire municipal governments as they see fit, dismiss public officials as well as destroy union contracts. By appointing these officials, they are effectively handing “taxpayer money, services and powers to private companies”.

An illustration of the role emergency managers can play is the Detroit’s public school district, which has an emergency manager, Robert Bobb, already in place. The district is projecting a $327 million budget deficit and several proposals have been made including closing half of the district’s 147 schools which would push classroom sizes up to possibly 60 kids per class. It would replace individual school principals with regional ones and would cut all general bus service. Personally, I would wager that it would NOT push class sizes up to 60 kids because given the economic situation in Detroit, I doubt most school kids are going to be walking the vast under-populated blocks to get to a school by themselves, if they don’t get picked up first.

“It takes every decision in a city or school district and puts it in the hands of the manager, from when the streets get plowed to who plows them and how much they are paid,” said Michigan State AFL-CIO president Mark Gaffney. “In schools, the manager would decide academics or if you have athletics.”

The takeover of local services has already begun. Recently the emergency financial manager of Pontiac, one of three other cities with appointed managers, has fired the local police chief and liquidated its union contract. It is now being served by the larger Oakland County Sheriff Department which will begin May 1. Previously, due to layoffs, the city had been underserved with less than 40 officers.

So, not only is this bad for unions it’s bad for our entire electoral system. Our governments are handing our voice over to a few people that we did not elect which is what one can define as a “government takeover”. It is electing a governor to elect people for us. It also gives elected officials a huge disincentive to do the job they are paid to do. Where does it stop? Who determines if these emergency managers will ever go away? If a municipality became financially solvent, it is hardly unreasonable to expect that these people will be asked to stay on to “insure” that things keep running well, increasing more people on the tax payrolls.

Rick Snyder, a Republican, was elected last year succeeding the outgoing governor, Jennifer Granholm and has been billed as a “nerd”. He has taken a page out of New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s playbook, by being a multimillionaire and then foregoing the standard gubernatorial salary for $1 a year. He has declined to participate in debates with opponents opting to go directly to the people with his message. He is a former executive at Coopers and Lybrand and was CEO of Gateway computers, which went from 21,000 workers in 2000 to 7,400 workers in 2003, some of which were shipped overseas. After Gateway, he subsequently moved on to found two investment firms, Avalon Investments and then Ardesta.

There has been some controversy over the upcoming budget proposals for the state in that he has divided the entire $45.9 billion budget into two bills: one designated for education and one for “everything else”.

The fact that there are few specifics of how the budget will be allotted has been worrying since it doesn’t aid in the transparency of government finances. If the state is not held to task for defining where its money is going, it can be assumed that it is a forewarning of what we can expect from these emergency financial managers.

The governor said he isn’t trying to make the state’s spending plans murkier or take away lawmakers’ budget oversight. But he wants to be held accountable on whether his administration is able to improve Michigan residents’ health, education, safety and quality of life as measured by the Michigan Dashboard he has set up rather than whether he has spent money on programs lawmakers favor. “You’re still held accountable,” Snyder told The Associated Press.

It seems that to Snyder, this is more of a global approach. In reality, it just signals that anyone can do anything they want with taxpayer money.