Marty Funkhouser

30 posts
I am all that is man.

QOTD: What is Your Favorite Simpsons Episode of All Time?

This past Sunday, The Simpsons aired its 500th episode, just another milestone for the longest-running sitcom in American television. Critics and bloggers and internet nerds have spent the past few days reminiscing about the glory days of the show (which, in my opinion, were seasons 3-8) when every episode was a slam dunk. This, of course, gave me an excuse to spend all day on YouTube looking up classic clips. Continue reading

BRADY BRADY BRADY & Saints vs 49ers: NFL Divisional Round Open Thread

It is time for the Rapture my friends. Huddle close with your loved ones for the day of judgement has arrived and the mighty Timothy Tebow will rise up, throw inaccurate short passes, one decent long pass, run around and induce erotic asphyxiation among older white males. There is no hope, do not fall prey to false idols such as the mumbling coach with a bad haircut and a fondness for married women and  the well-coiffed quarterback from the England of New. Their wickedness in the Tuck Rule Game must be avenged. Continue reading

The Best TV of 2011: Drama

Like yesterday’s post, only more brooding and homicidal.

Breaking Bad: It’s pretty simple at this point. If you’re not watching Breaking Bad you’re an idiot and better be contributing great things to society. Because missing out on TV’s finest hour-long drama is inexcusable. Showrunner Vince Gilligan has steadily taken more risks with the plot and in the fourth season the writers went all out. One five-minute sequence in the season premeire involving a box cutter set the tone, which this season was along the lines of “Holy shit.” A lull in the middle led some fans to question whether the creative minds were on the right track but the last third of the season blew audiences away. Another season, another otherworldly performance by Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston. But season 4 belonged to Giancarlo Esposito as drug kingpin Gus Fring. Special shout-out to composer David Porter and music supervisor Thomas Golubi for his fantastic song choices. Continue reading

Why You Should Care About Minnie Miñoso

Whether you’re a fan of sports or not, you’ve probably heard of Jackie Robinson. The first African-American to ever play in the MLB, he broke barriers and paved the way for thousands of black athletes, doing it all under the shadow of vile racism and awful treatment from opposing players. Maybe you’ve heard of Roberto Clemente, the first Latin American ballplayer to ever get elected to the Hall of Fame, widely recognized for his humanitarian efforts. Well it’s time you learned about Saturnino Orestes Armas Miñoso Arrieta, also known as Minnie Miñoso. Continue reading

Why I Can’t Hate This New York Yankee

Following baseball away from New York City is usually an exercise in irrational hatred. The Yankees are aggressively good. Year after year, those assholes swoop in and pick up the most talented free agents on the market, gratuitously overpaying because they’re the Yankees and it doesn’t matter if you pay Alex Rodriguez $30 million a year even if he can barely play 120 games a year. Continue reading