Marty Funkhouser

30 posts
I am all that is man.

Top Chef Finale Preview: Jersey Mike vs. Professor Blais

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With the unwanted departure of Splendorina (come back!), there has been a void in Top Chef foofaraw. I am here to assure you everything will be ok. The sous-vide machine is plugged in, the GE Monogram appliances are fully stocked, and Padma and Gails’ breasts have been hand-inspected by yours truly. It’s time for the finale of Top Chef! After such a strong start to the season Top Chef has been dragging its feet for the past few weeks, though it would have been hard to match the epic first elimination challenge (cook the dish that got you booted off the first time around). Maybe it’s because I don’t find myself rooting for either of the finalists but considering how epic the first five episodes were it’s kind of been a letdown. But after the waste of time of the D.C. season it’s still a step up, and it would be criminal to not have a quality breakdown of the final two contestants.

You fancy, huh?

The somewhat surprising flame-outs of Angelo and Dale (and most shocking of all Jennifer’s Ep. 2 freakout) seemed to pave the way for a Richard Blais redemption. All season long the edits kept hammering home the point that Blais “choked” in his finale, and that everyone else saw him as their biggest competition. If the talking heads didn’t remind us that Richard was extremely neurotic and self-critical, it also painted him as an unlikely villain, talking down Carla’s simple food or acting like there weren’t any chefs of his caliber in the Top Chef house. I didn’t expect to find myself hating Blais, but thanks to the magic of Bravo editing I want him to fail miserably and succumb to all the stressors in life. You’re a fucking grown man, get a real hair cut and take some goddamn pride in your work, you’re fucking weak. But while I would like to see him fail, I don’t want to necessarily see him lose. And that is because of…

 

His name is Head. Dick Head.

Jersey Mike! Oh, what a perfectly despicable reality show character Mike Isabella has become. Barely memorable in the Las Vegas season thanks to the greatest final four the show has ever seen, Isabella added twenty pounds and a whole lot of attitude for the All-Star season. From the first episode his talking heads have consisted of nothing but disparaging others for their so-called “simple” cuisine. As for his own cooking, I don’t recall him making anything particularly memorable or garnering a ton of praise from the judges. There was the whole “controversy” of Mike stealing Blais’ dish but as much as I dislike him that seems rather extraneous. He could be a fantastic chef and an overall quality human being, but there is just something so eminently hatable about Jersey Mike. His terrible wardrobe consisting of Ed Hardy/Affliction t-shirts, copious use of hair gel, oh did I mention the misogyny? Because it’s pretty obvious after two seasons that Jersey Mike does not have much respect for women in the kitchen. Throw in the constant “Eyy I’m Italiano!” references and it’s enough to make you under-cook your Buitoni ravioli. I want Mike to lose and I want him to lose badly. I want Richard to dump a tank of liquid nitrogen on his greasy hair and shatter it with a hammer.

Who do you think is going to take home the title? Also, to further discussion, what were your favorite moments of the season? Aside from the awesome season opener, I thought Restaurant Wars was pretty incredible. The way Marcel’s team kind of just threw him under the bus before things even started was a bit sad but equally hilarious. Tre’s awkward laugh destroyed any notions of going gay, Antonia became a hero to high school stoners everywhere and Carla continued her reign as greatest Top Chef contestant ever. Hootie Hoo!

I Watched Battlefield Earth on Purpose

On the surface, Battlefield Earth seems like a simple enough story. In the year 3000 an advanced alien species called the Psychlos conquers Earth in nine minutes, force the remaining humans into manual labor in a dome outside Denver, humans lead an uprising based on their ability to learn how to fly F-18 fighter jets in a matter of minutes and they live happily ever after while John Travolta is locked in a cage.  Sounds promising, right?

For some reason, the movie has been on my hard drive for years. I somehow forced a friend to join me in this two hour spectacle. We both figured that there was no way the movie could live up to its terrible reputation. People were just bagging on it because of the Scientology connection and everyone else was doing it, we were sure of it. Mother of God we were wrong. This movie is absolutely, without any shred of doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen in my two decades of cinema-going existence. There isn’t a single redeeming quality to it. The acting is poor, the dialogue is so laughably bad there is no comparison except for the comments section of a newspaper website. Combine the previous two and it still wouldn’t match the complete train wreck that is the directing and costume designs.

“But Chad” you say, “I’m still not convinced. Lord Xenu would never allow such a travesty to happen. Surely your thetan levels are causing interference.” To that I say, shut the fuck up and behold these bullet points of truth:

  • You could take the entire filmography of John Woo and it still wouldn’t compare to the use of slow motion in this film. The running time is two hours, I’d venture at least 45 minutes of it is spent in slow-mo.  Slowmo porn.
  • The ENTIRE movie is filmed at an angle. It’s as if the director just finished a class at film school where they learned about angled camera shots and decided, “Hey you know what, that was pretty cool! I’m going to make a movie where it’s nothing but that!”
  • Doing Eiffel 65 Proud
    118 minutes of Dutch Angle hotness.

    Also, after his lesson on camera angles, he must have watched Heat because it feels like someone spread a bunch of blueberry jam on the screen. Every scene, no matter the location, has some kind of blue tint to it.

  • It’s hard to actually delve into the plot of the film without going on a massive tirade. But let’s just go into some of the more ridiculous details:
    • The John Travolta character, for reasons I don’t remember is forced to stay on Earth for a really long time and run the slave labor camp. He devises a plan to escape by training a human in all the practices of his alien culture and wisdom (which apparently consists of geometry). In a move no one could have predicted, the human uses his now superior intellect to lead a successful uprising.
  • The humans in the movie alternate from speaking perfect English, being able to comprehend the Declaration of Independence and apply it to their current situation, and learning how to fly F-18 fighter jets after a single flight simulation, to acting like cavemen capable of only guttural moans. The difference is never explained, but that’s just part of the movie’s charm.
  • On the other hand, the Psychlos’ language apparently consists of maniacal laughter and an accent that ranges from British to that character on The Simpsons who always says “Yessssssss!” And their beverage of choice is similar in look and color to radioactive ooze.

    Click the image for video goodness.

There’s not much else to say. This movie is awful in almost every regard. There is nothing about it that would compel me to watch it again. No amount of weed, cocaine, sexual favors or chocolate covered raisins could get me to waste another two hours on this dreck.

Ballin’ at the MIT Sloan Sports Conference

Right now, some of the brightest minds in Boston aren’t meeting to discuss nuclear research or an exit strategy for Afghanistan, but rather the concept of a “hot” shooter in basketball, whether there is such a thing as team chemistry, and how LeBron James will impact future labor negotiations.

Since 2007, the Sloan Sports Analytics Conference has attempted to bring the most innovative and thoughtful personalities in sports to discuss a wide range of topics. It has grown in popularity each year, mostly thanks to the attention given by perhaps the most famous sportswriter in the country, Bill Simmons. The conference attacks issues present in each sport, but I’m going to focus solely on basketball and some of the more interesting topics brought up.

At this time, the typical NBA fan looks at the box score on ESPN and sees the standard statistical measurements:  Points, rebounds, assists. But anyone who’s watched or played basketball for a long time knows that games are often won not just on big buckets, but on key defensive stops, proper spacing to run plays, or battling for loose balls. If you watch a telecast the announcers will most likely call all these things “intangibles” or “Team A wants it more than Team B.” Of course players are humans, and humans are prone to emotions such as laziness, or an intense desire to compete. But what if teams could quantify effort? What if they could measure how hard a player worked?

We’ll likely never achieve that Holy Grail of analysis but advancements like Adjusted Plus/Minus have shed new light on how lineups are constructed in the NBA and how we measure the effectiveness of so-called “specialists” like Shane Battier or Bruce Bowen. Instead of looking at numbers in a vacuum, we’re now seeing more teams embracing context This sounds rather simplistic, but both the people who run the sports teams and those who write about them for a living are notoriously slow to adapt.

Another interesting debate rose out of Malcolm Gladwell’s famous “10,000 hours” theory in relation to falling star Tracy McGrady, who at one time was one of the most dynamic players the league had ever seen. His former coach Jeff Van Gundy suggested that McGrady was somehow too skilled for his own good, which led to a decrease in practice time. In contrast, the practice habits of Ray Allen were brought up. The all-time leader in 3-point field goals made obviously spends a lot of time practicing jumpshots. But did you know that Allen practices so much that he’s capable of taking 1,000 jumpers at the exact same release point?

The most exciting (I use that term loosely) development for me was a presentation made by Sandy Weil. A number of NBA teams have enlisted the services of a company called STATS, LLC. They install a number of high-tech, 3D cameras in various arenas, which are then capable of capturing every movement on the basketball court and the exact location of each player. Spacing is key in basketball, whether it’s getting enough separation from a defender to take a jumpshot or creating passing lanes for cutters. This obviously affects the percentages of shot attempts, and not surprisingly the less space a player has to operate the less efficient he will be.

Another interesting find with these cameras is that the efficiency of catch-and-shoot (the bread8and-butter play of guys like Ray Allen and Reggie Miller) is much higher than almost every other shot. So while isolation-heavy guys like Carmelo Anthony earn a ton of superstar accolades, he isn’t necessarily an elite player because the bulk of his scoring comes in less than ideal situations (obviously he’s still really damn good). Also, shot attempts earlier in the shot clock go in at a higher percentage than those that come later. This correlates well with teams that force a lot of turnovers or play at a fast pace (Boston, Golden State, Phoenix).

The potential of this technology is vast. Teams could start charting shot percentages for their players in every situation and tailoring plays that maximize their strengths. For example, Warriors guard Monta Ellis is primarily thought of as a high-volume scorer who lacks traditional point guard skills. But shot attempts off his passes have a 60% success rate, so while he may not have great vision he is capable of breaking down defenses and creating good looks for his teammates. This is obviously just the surface of what was covered, but obviously without attending it’s hard to fully grasp the complexity of a lot of the topics. But it’s an exciting time for sports, or at the very least sports nerds.

Getting Into The Chicago Code

In the era of serialized television, where every drama has to give us a tight narrative that builds up to a singular climax I have forgotten about the procedural drama, particularly cop shows. Many say that watching five seasons of The Wire ruined other shows like Law and Order for them, because the former attempts to ground us in reality as much as possible where good does not trump evil and storylines don’t end in neat packages. On the other hand, not all television has to be jam-packed with so much plot that it can be likened to a novel. The goal is to be entertained, so when I saw the aggressive promos for the new Fox drama The Chicago Code I made sure to hop on.

The Chicago Code is the brainchild of Shawn Ryan, who is only the creator of the second greatest crime drama of all-time, The Shield, which was also integral in paving the way for basic cable networks to push scripted dramas that dealt with heavier fare. So there was a good amount of hype and expectations that this show would live up to that standard of excellence, despite being on a Big Four network. Does The Chicago Code deliver on these expectations? Well, kind of.

The show follows the exploits of three major characters. Chicago Police Department superintendent Teresa Colvin (Jennifer Beals), CPD detective Jarek Wysocki (Jason Clarke), and corrupt Chicago alderman Ronin Gibbons (Delroy Lindo). The main premise is that Colvin forms a secret task force to bring down Gibbons. However, the show relies on a “case of the week” format and attempts to tie them in to the main arc. It also makes heavy use of voiceover narration, which is a sticking point for a lot of people. Not trying to compare the two, but the voiceovers are more similar in style to Goodfellas than say, Dexter, but it’s a love/hate aspect of the show. I don’t think they are a crutch but that seems to be a minority opinion. The more glaring negative is hammy, cliche dialogue. The show is shot on location in Chicago (more on that later) and it’s obvious the writers want to let us know that we are in the motherfucking Chi. The pilot has one too many Chicago Cubs/White Sox references, and over the top lines like “YOU THINK YOU CAN CHANGE THINGS IN CHICAGO?!” I’m also not sold on some of the actors, namely Billy Lush who plays a mole inside the Irish Mafia.

On the plus side, the show is beautifully shot for a network drama. I may be biased but the directors take full advantage of their photogenic location with drawn-out car chases and aerial shots. Jennifer Beals may be the most unrealistic choice ever to play a police superintendent but she does a fine job, even though as a native Southsider she manages to sound like a Masshole. Delroy Lindo does a great job of chewing scenery and acting like a mix between Harold Washington, Rev. Jesse Jackson and Mayor Daley. The show sets him up as an evil genius and so far he’s up to the task. I’m still not sold that we will get a huge payoff on the main corruption storyline, but the show is certainly enjoyable enough on a weekly basis that I keep watching. Those looking for intricate storytelling should probably just watch The Wire again, but if you’re a fan of Law and Order and shows of that ilk I highly recommend diving into The Chicago Code.

The NBA is FAN-tastic

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Note:  This column is for people who like basketball or at the very least are interested in some kind of sport. If you hate intense discussion about sweaty dudes putting balls through a net then go away, I hate you, and wish all the bad things in life happen to you. Also, click on the photos for video fun.

Basketball, more specifically the NBA is my favorite sport to follow. Considering I am barely 5’10” and have a hitch in my shot that would embarrass Bill Cartwright, it always amazes me the incredible feats of athleticism basketball players are capable of producing on a routine basis. In this humble peasant’s opinion, they consistently pull off the most amazing highlights. Even the most hipster-y sports hater dreams of being able to dunk a basketball. Maybe the sport has never appealed to you; maybe you think college ball is better and more “pure.” I say to you, it’s never been a better time to follow the NBA. Thanks to a couple of stacked draft classes in the past few years and the seemingly never-ending careers of other stars the league has never been full of so much talent. Seeing as how the league’s All-Star weekend is coming up in a few days, I thought it’d be a good idea to break down some of the more interesting storylines of this season.

I am Blake Griffin, Destroyer of Worlds: Drafted by the Clippers in 2009, he promptly shattered his left kneecap and had to sit out a full season, an appropriate start for the heralded savior of one of the unluckiest sports franchises out there. However, this season Blake has shown why he was worthy of that #1 pick and done something no one thought possible, he’s made the LA Clippers worth watching. I could write a post solely about Griffin, but it’s safe to say you have to see him to believe it. He plays with an absolute disregard for his own personal safety and treats the rim as if it killed his whole family. The rim-rocking dunks, the never-ending alley-oops, he’s 21 years old and already putting the fear of god into opponents. His entry into the Slam Dunk Competition promises to be legendary.

Derrick Rose and the Rebirth of Chicago: It’s safe to say that I love Derrick Rose more than my family and wish to have his babies (if it were biologically possible). The humble, mumbly 22 year old from one of the roughest neighborhoods in the city has skyrocketed into the national scene. In a city dominated by crappy baseball and football he has gotten people to care about basketball again. After two solid but unspectacular seasons Derrick has taken the famous “leap” that most basketball players do in their third year. As a hometown kid there was always pressure to succeed but it’s never fazed Rose. He’s simply gotten better in every aspect of the game and done it with an “aw shucks” mentality that is hard to hate. Even at such a young age he has wowed his peers. Other superstars go on Twitter and say Rose is their favorite player to watch. He simply does things a 6’3” guard should not be capable of doing. The perfect combination of size, speed, strength, and big rippling muscles….sorry what are we talking about again?

The Oklahoma City Thunder: Making it Hard to Remember Seattle. Thanks to the NBA assisted swindling of the Seattle Supersonics, jackass grease-ball owner Clay Bennett was allowed to move a franchise with nearly 50 years of history in the Pacific Northwest to the basketball haven of…Oklahoma City? To the surprise of everyone, the OKC residents took the Thunder in and treated them like a newborn baby. They provided endless support to the point that home games remind one of a college atmosphere. With a likable core of youngsters led by Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook, the Thunder have made a quick turnaround from cellar-dweller into perennial playoff contender. The smooth shot of Durant combined with the jaw-dropping athleticism of Westbrook make the Thunder a must-see attraction.

The Miami Heat and the Player Hater’s Ball: By this time everyone knows about the ugly publicity stunt LeBron pulled back in July of 2010. That he left Cleveland for South Beach wasn’t a big deal, it was the absolute shamelessness of forcing a loyal fanbase to watch ESPN for an hour just so they could have their heart stomped on. Joining forces with the “RuPaul of big men” Chris Bosh and very handsome but still giant dickbag Dwayne Wade the Heat were expected to blow the league out of the water.  Though they’ve been downright impressive there’s a sense that no one really fears the Heat. Derrick Rose notably did not bother to recruit James or Wade last summer. The Boston Celtics have smacked Miami around like rag dolls in their three meetings. How will their Eastern Conference teammates treat them during what is typically a lighthearted exhibition game?

Now obviously I’ve only scratched the surface of what has honestly been the most fun 50+ games of basketball since the mid-90s (believe me, I have watched a lot of shitty games). But it does highlight a growing talent pool, which only creates more competitive teams and entertaining matchups. The league has suffered through an image crisis for years due to its close association with hip-hop culture but it’s safe to say the future has never looked brighter for a post-MJ world.


Friday Night Lights Wasn’t a Hit, You Can Still Watch

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Last week, the 5th and final season of the critically acclaimed drama Friday Night Lights came to a beautiful conclusion. Many of the storylines were wrapped up, important characters got their send-offs. But the particulars are not important and considering how small the audience is it would be pointless to even talk about it. What I want to explore is how can a show that combines America’s number one obsession with well-done family drama fail so miserably to find an audience? Why did a show that preached family values more than any program on CBS miss with Middle America?

Friday Night Lights was always plagued with low ratings. It never garnered more than 8 million viewers in its first season and was constantly shuffled around by NBC before finally landing, ironically, in the Friday Night Death Slot.

This was not even a case of NBC messing shit up as they have been known to do. The show was aggressively promoted online, given a cushy timeslot and a full 22 episode run to no avail.

Somehow, a TV show with a ludicrous assortment of attractive people (seriously, just stare at Taylor Kitsch for 10 seconds and see if your special parts don’t tingle) about high school football had failed to connect with anyone that would seemingly love it. The people who loved football couldn’t buy into the ridiculous game sequences (after 5 seasons I’ve lost count as to how many times a game has ended on a 50 yard Hail Mary pass); the ones who stayed for emotional drama were bored by the football. Everyone wrote it off as either a soap opera or a sports show. People punished it for doing both.

For a country that is full of rabble-rousers who bemoan the lack of “Christian, family values” they sure as hell couldn’t find FNL on the TV. But that was because Friday Night Lights didn’t pretend to be a wholesome sitcom with a fat, lazy husband and way too attractive wife and two smart-aleck kids. It defined raw emotion.

The characters wore their hearts on their sleeves, you cried and cheered and did everything in between watching them. Perhaps the raw honesty was unsettling and turned off viewers. But it never made sense to me why millions of people watch emotionally manipulative porn like Extreme House Makeover but couldn’t get invested in FNL.

A lot of TV viewers will tell you that watching a show about a happily married couple is boring, but it’s a load of shit. You won’t find a more honest portrayal of marriage than the one between Eric and Tami Taylor. There are no crazy subplots, no attempts to add any “wow” factor, just eighty episodes of two characters that love each other unconditionally and provide support during the most tumultuous of times. I guess simple and earnest just doesn’t garner a lot of interest. But the show attacked a ton of issues and did so with earnestness. Racism, teen sex, abortion, public education, feminism. You’re not watching a show about football; it’s about Dillon, Texas and the people who live there.

I’m not going to pretend the show was perfect, that each storyline hit every emotional beat and every arc came to a satisfying conclusion. That’s not true, and the second season is one of the more uneven (crappy) things I’ve subjected myself to. But to those who have never seen an episode or might have given up, I say give it another try. If you can subject yourself to Gossip Girl or One Tree Hill then watch a show that does it right.

List-Mania XXM Pt. 2: The Reckoning

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So last night I talked about my five favorite TV dramas of the year. Looking back on it, I kind of wished I didn’t include The Walking Dead because it was good for 2 episodes then sucked. So, with that in mind I’m going to throw it out and go with six comedies.

Ultimate Caveat Part 2: I did not watch Parks & Recreation, sorry Swifter.

6. Archer: For anyone who’s familiar with Adult Swim, Archer isn’t anything groundbreaking, nor is satire of James Bond something new to the comedy scene. But the banter between the voice actors and retro 60s feel gives Archer a unique twist. Creator Adam Reed has given the show a similar style of humor and animation comparable to his other works Frisky Dingo and Sealab 2021. The voice talent is impressive, headed by H. Jon Benjamin and other heavy hitters like Jessica Walter, who essentially reprises her role as Lucille Bluth. The show has a very hyper-aggressive wit to it, with the titular character attempting to get the last line on everything despite being a clueless idiot. Throwaway lines like “That girl was like the Pele of anal” and “This place smells like Indira Gandhi’s thong” are what set this show apart from other animated fare and the fact that it’s on FX allows it to be as raunchy and offensive as needed.

5. 30 Rock: No, it can’t hold the claim as the smartest or
funniest show on television, but there aren’t many shows that try to cram as many jokes into 22 minutes of action like 30 Rock. Alec Baldwin has spent the last 4 years reminding anyone who may have missed his 40 appearances on Saturday Night Live that he has better comedic timing than you. Tina Fey at times seems to revel in making Liz Lemon the butt of jokes as a frumpy, socially awkward being when in reality most people would sacrifice a goat to sleep with her. But the show still works thanks to the great relationship between Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy. The supporting actors can be hit or miss but the show has succeeded in confusing everyone as to whether Tracy Morgan is actually crazy or just acting.
4. The League:
When I first heard the premise of this show I made considerable wanking motions at the screen.

A show about 6 dudes in a fantasy football league that spend the majority of time insulting each other and talking about sex? Color me unimpressed. But after actually watching the short first season last year I was hooked. The show returned with a much better feel for its characters (hint: They are all assholes) and the actors appeared to be much more comfortable riffing off one another. The style of the show is similar to Curb Your Enthusiasm with a story outline instead of a script and relies heavily on improvisation. If you like the Curb version of Larry David or have a fondness for “that guy” comic actors like Nick Kroll and Paul Scheer you will probably enjoy The League.

3. Modern Family: On the surface, there isn’t much reason for TV critics and audiences to lavish this show with so much praise. It’s a typical sitcom about the antics of a zany family, complete with sexy trophy wife, annoyingly wise child, bumbling husband and gay couple. But for one reason or another Modern Family just feels right, whereas Two and a Half Men feels like an ectopic pregnancy. Thankfully the writers dumped the schmaltzy ending “This is the moral of the story” segments and have let the the show ease into a nice rhythm, allowing us to feel like the Dunphy-Pritchett family could actually exist. The comedy is broad and nonsensical, what makes it work is the feeling that these characters love each other and actually enjoy being in the presence of one another.

2. Community:

Too many TV/movie parodies. Too much meta-commentary. Too many gimmick episodes. Too much fucking awesome is what I say. A story about a disbarred lawyer who goes back to community college and becomes part of a quirky study group has somehow turned into one of the most inventive television shows in recent memory. In two seasons, Community has taken a group of broad stereotypes and fleshed out some great characters. Off the top of my head, we’ve seen parodies of zombie films, Goodfellas, Charlie Kauffman, John Woo, Lethal Weapon, space movies, Mean Girls and The Breakfast Club. Yet none of it feels truly forced and the actors do such a good job there is a heartwarming feel as each episode brings the band of misfits closer together. Bonus points for the hotness that is Allison Brie and Gillian Jacobs.

1. Party Down: The final two shows on this list have a similar theme of how to react when the life you had comes

crashing to a halt. Whereas Community takes a decidedly sunnier view of things (You may not be a rich and successful lawyer but at least you understand the meaning of friendship!), Party Down spent two seasons showing us just what happens to a man who decides to give up on the American Dream, and it’s decidedly unpleasant. An incredible cast and some ridiculous guest spots (Kristen Bell, Steve Guttenberg, JK Simmons) had you either laughing or cringing, usually both at the same time. More bad things happened to Ron Donald (played by Ken Marino) over the course of a season then what happens to child molesters in prison. The season “not series” finale but ultimately last episode deliberately left things open-ended but it still felt like a satisfying conclusion. The last shot of Henry (Adam Scott) nervously waiting for an audition, tired of leading a shit life but terrified of failing again, summed the series up quite nicely.

List-Mania MMX: TV Edition

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Like our fearless leader I have a fondness for lists. They are awesome for the sense of finality and authority they provide, even if they are created by drunk kittens. They’re great conversation starters (Hey Johnson did you see that list of 10 greatest rim jobs?) and if you’re a professional troll like Armond White lists can generate huge traffic to your otherwise pathetic blog. So, I’ve decided to break down the 10 best TV shows of 2010. I’ll tackle drama today and comedy in the near future.

Ultimate Caveat: I do not watch Mad Men. And minor spoilers apply for all shows.

5. The Walking Dead: Aside from Boardwalk Empire, no other show premeired this year to such rave reviews and incredible ratings. The 90 minute pilot was grandiose and Frank Darabont created a distinct visual style that transferred the zombie movie to basic cable without sacrificing any of the gore or horror we come to expect from the genre. However, the show definitely lost steam after a strong start. Poor writing, shallow stereotypes masquerading as supporting characters and an uneventful finale left me kind of disappointed. Still, the show has potential and hopefully a new writing staff can inject some life into the remaining characters.

4. Lost: I was initially annoyed at the finale but the more I look back the writers had basically put themselves in a corner and that was the easiest way out. In the end, it was still an entertaining show regardless of plot direction and the finale was fantastic until the final 10 minutes. They still should have killed Kate with the polar bear, I hated Kate.

3. Boardwalk Empire:  Out of all the new shows this year no other had as much hype and expectations as Boardwalk

Empire. You look at the impressive pedigree behind the scenes (Scorsese, Terrence Winter) and in front (Steve Buscemi, Omar Little, Michael Shannon), the subject matter and it’s kind of easy to see why people bust a nut over this show. Crosstalk favorite Brian Moylan trashed the show but he’s off his rocker. No, it’s not Goodfellas circa 1920 but there’s so much more going on. Personally, I loved all the political subplots. Where else are you going to find a major story arc involving Warren G. Harding’s long-forgotten mistress? A serious lack of Omar left me sad but I really liked the finale and all the set-ups for the next season. Bonus points for the Leonardo DiCaprio lookalike doing a bang-up job as Jimmy Darmody and Paz De La Huerta for showing her breasts.

2. Friday Night Lights:

Simply put, the best television drama no one talks about. Somehow a show about Texas high school football created by the guy who directed Hancock has turned into one of the most earnest, thoughtful portrayals of American life and the familial unit. There is no other show on TV that has given me goosebumps or made me tear up like FNL. The marriage of Eric and Tami Taylor just might be the most honest portrayal of a husband and wife I have ever seen on TV. In it’s final season and exiting on just a high of a note as when it started.

1. Breaking Bad: Heisenberg and Jesse Pinkman. I could write pages on the brilliance of these characters, the

absolute dominance by Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul over my mind grapes. This show made me say “Holy fucking shit” more times than I can recall. An episode where all the main characters did was chase a fly around a meth lab was filled with more drama and catharsis than the entire season of Dexter. The ending of “One Minute” had me screaming at the screen like a stereotype in a Wayans Brother movie. What started as a means to pay for chemotherapy and surgery has turned into a defining characteristic for Walter White. No matter how many times he tries to step away, the meth and money always come calling. Like The Sopranos, the show has no qualms about making their main character a terrible human being, one who with each season slips further into despair.

Stephen Tobolowsky Needs to be in Your Life

I’m a pretty easy person to please. But one thing that annoys me to no end is the wasteland of radio. I used to love listening to talk radio because my parents didn’t allow cable in the house. At only 23 years of age it’s not like I’ve lived through the golden age of the medium but there was a time when people actually held long conversations and told interesting stories. Now we get blathering talking points and mindless phone calls from Gus in Naperville. Thanks to podcasts we now have a return to long-form storytelling and I want to share my favorite one out there: The Tobolowsky Files.

A lot of you might know his name but you definitely remember the face. Tobolowsky is the ultimate “That Guy.” He’s had memorable roles in dozens of films (most notably Groundhog Day) and through his career has picked up an enormity of stories.

Thanks to an appearance on a movie review podcast and a bright idea by the show’s host he’s now put out 40 episodes of incredible material. Tobolowsky riffs on almost any subject matter. It can range from the typical Hollywood insider stuff to his musings on bedtime stories or the concept of Halloween. He’s one of the most compelling storytellers I’ve ever listened to. It doesn’t matter what he and host David Chen speak about, I just want more of it. Another great part of the podcast is very little is scripted. There is some pre-show banter and Tobolowsky will just get on a train of thought and run with it. That kind of spontaneity is refreshing in an era of pre-packaged glossy interviews.

So for those of you who have long and boring commutes to work, need something to listen to before bedtime or like me are always in search of a good story I say check out this podcast.

PS: Apologies for the length or crappy writing in advance.

iTunes link