The Hollywood Caller

32 posts

The Hollywood Caller: The Trumpening Has Begun

the_trumpening A massive combover landed in Cleveland and threw itself into the eyeballs of the American people; HBO to forget about George R.R. Martin completely; the Pope asks if Hollywood really likes him; Adam Sandler is his own best friend; Michael Bay screams “Benghazi!” into a wind tunnel; True Detective “mehs” us to death; MSNBC is now a rehab clinic for unsuitable anchors; and Ryan Seacrest loses one of his forty-nine jobs.

So how did the Trumpening go last night? Basically it was like watching a bunch of ludicrous dancing laser lights being chased by one insane cat. That cat is Donald Trump, who just doesn’t give a fack. In the most not givingiest of a fack way possible. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: “Can We Talk?”

joan_riversThis is my ideal day. Saturday morning: I love to get up to go to a museum. I always take a taxi, and only open the door into the bike lane. Because I love to see how many Citi Bike riders I can pick off. I love to spend mornings at MoMA, where I eat M&Ms and I sneeze on Jackson Pollocks, just to see who can tell. I try to get to a Mets game if they’re in town, because they have a great ticket plan: If you buy one, you get one free; if you buy two, they let you pitch. — Joan Rivers [Vulture]

Joan Rivers was an icon. She was controversial, acerbic, offensive sometimes, spot on often, and the last of the real “take no crap” broads in showbiz. No, not in Hollywood or the movies, or on television…showbiz. Showbiz meaning that she was a consummate performer. Brooklyn born, a Phi Beta Kappa from Barnard College educated, and one of the quickest wits to walk the planet even at the age of 81. Rivers could get up on a stage in her twilight years and make the biggest “man’s man” blush as she regaled an audience with raunchy and ribald humor while dressed to the nines, heels in place, hair perfected, and face…a work of dizzying craftsmanship. And that’s all we’re going to say about that. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: There Once Was a Funny Man…

robin_williams“You do an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!… but you keep it all inside.” This is the scene among many that made me laugh out loud during The Birdcage starring the wonderful Robin Williams. I can still see him doing every single one of those dance steps as he paraded hilariously across the stage. The other great scene had to do with a pot full of shrimp and a dinner not going to plan, and Williams, whom you could tell, ad libbing the entire thing. And that’s what he did. Robin Williams was a genius at improv — one of the best there ever was — but when it was time to get serious, he knew just how to break your heart as he did in Good Will Hunting, earning him the Oscar, and earlier in The World According to Garp among other stand out roles. And that’s just his dramatic work; he was a king at the animated voice, and had the timing of the Gods. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: Patton Oswalt to become Television’s Next Big Puritan-ist

patton_oswalt

Patton Oswalt, funny human, will show us his “Salem Side” on the small screen; Star Wars gets another pair of Rockports; Julian Fellowes probably can’t multitask; Smash‘s Dramaturg got turdulent; Ke$ha thinks things apparently; Shia LaBeouf realizes that crashing robots are more fun than the whole thespian thing; Russell Crowe still has vocal chords. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: John Travolta and Olivia Newton John Are Coming for Christmas Prepare Thyself

There is a double Johns (Travolta and Olivia Newton) music video that you must see to be believed; Lifetime to get preachy; George Zimmerman is still a horrible human being; Rom-Com aficionado, James Marsden, tackles the hapless female (Oy); Justin Bieber will be Grammy-less and people (one person) is mad; BWAP, BWAP, BWAP A Tron Sequel trailer will make this noise we bet. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: Elmo No More

Sheesh. Nothing is sacred. Not anymore. Elmo as we know it is gone. Also, Kelsey Grammer will have to smile at his one Boss Golden Globe. He won’t be getting another. On the bright side, The Walking Dead may have just gotten more awesome if that’s possible. NBC despite its sweeps success is still a stupid network. Barbara Walters thinks potty mouth dogs are interesting. Oh, Paula Abdul, really? Really. And Downton Abbey we have a bone to pick with you! Hugh Laurie, we don’t mean crossbones. Continue reading →

The Hollywood Caller: Nic Cage Won’t Ever Stop Making Movies Despite Their Utter Insanity

Nic Cage is just making shit up now; Tyra Banks’ head has TV plans; Ryan Reynolds to get serious…again; OPRAH SQUEEEEEEEE; the USA network knows what we like; Peter Berg tells Mitt Romney to “Step Off”; Dane Cook needs a new job…always; and a new teaser trailer for NBC’s Mockingbird Lane! Oh, Eddie Izzard. Continue reading →