With only five weeks until the election, the GOP’s point of no return zipped past in the rearview weeks ago. About the time Mitt Romney spent a muggy night in Tampa following up the weirdest public display by a senior citizen since Reagan’s second term with a bore-fest, the tide started turning against America’s favorite Mormon-Plutocratic-Android.
Tonight, that could all change. Mitt Romney could give the performance of a life time, the President could have a ‘Kill Whitey’ moment, and Ann Romney could spend Thursday morning planning for ways to keep ‘you people’ away from the Executive Mansion.
Screw it, we all know none of that’s going to happen. Romney’s folks are already playing the lowered expectations game, and it is widely expected that the President is going to sit back and let Romney hang himself for the amusement of us Godless liberals.
The moderately useful state of Colorado is the site for debate #1, focusing on domestic policy (no, Ann, that doesn’t mean ‘how to pay the Help while avoiding tax implications of having the Help’). Format is six 15 minute segments-that’s a ninety minute session, for all you future state of Texas public school graduates.
The debate itself begins at 9PM EDT, but the cable news networks are starting much earlier than that. Hey, when you have 300 pundits on your payroll, you’ve got to find air-time for all of them. In the meantime, we’ll have our own usual collage of fury in the comments, for those of you wanting to see Mitt Romney’s entrails spilled on the debate stage.
Note: The Grand Inquisitor will be manning the Twitter during the debate tonight, so you can also follow the fun at @crasstalk.
8:50- Ahem. I’m a few minutes early for this thing, which is a first in Crasstalk liveblogs, I believe. Let’s do a couple obvious things first: 1) Hat tip to Cletar for today’s header image. Negative hat tip to Chris Matthews, whose voice is already assaulting my eardrum.
8:53- 2) As I’ve a murderous day tomorrow, I’m drinking tea instead of booze. I’d say I’m doing it in honor of Mitt Romney, but this tea has some flavor to it.
8:55- I’m just going to throw this out there: Chris Hayes should never wear a jacket and tie. He looks like a toddler staged for a family photo. I keep looking for the Olan Mills logo in the corner of my screen.
8:57- For the record, expect this to be just like most of the last 10 or so Super Bowls: There’s just no way the event can live up to the opinionating and punditing that’s gone on in advance of it. Between the President playing defense and Dullard Romney, this has the potential to be a total bore-fest.
9:00- Chris Matthews just said “Kick him in the balls” in quoting Bobby Kennedy. So, that was fun. Tune in next week for “Chris Matthews Repeats Crass Kennedy Family Quotes”, only on MSNBC!
9:03- An emphasis on specifics? Oh, Jim, have you met Mitt Romney?
9:04- Ah, jobs. Not exactly a shocker. The President will start off by burning clock on thanking people and wishing his wife a happy anniversary. Beats talking policy, I guess.
9:05- Jesus, Mitt’s not even talking and he’s smirking at the mention of infrastructure and renewable energy. At least we know which direction he plans to go this evening.
9:07- Mitt Romney just said with a straight face that he doesn’t embrace a top down approach. Somewhere, Grover Norquist is calling for a drone strike on one of Romney’s residences.
9:08- Start checking off boxes 1) Improving education. We all agree on that, right? Texas, you still with me?
9:10- Wind, solar? I feel like we had a Democratic president that made those arguments before. Thirty-five years ago. Yay, Progress!
9:12- Everytime anyone, either party, cites gas prices as something the President has an iota of control over, a puppy commits suicide.
9:13- In Mitt Romney’s America, everyone has their own oil well. Oh, and clean coal is a real thing. Unicorns use it to grow their rainbow producing money trees.
9:16- I think it’s notable that the President is using math and numbers to drive his arguments. We saw the effects of the same approach when Bill Clinton did this at the convention. Of course, it’s just getting obfuscated by Romney’s full throated bullshit.
9:19- You know why this country is ultimately going to fail? This discussion right fucking here. Everything centers on ‘lowering taxes’. Never ‘We need to pony up and make this right’. Somewhere, FDR is calling for someone to come roll him over in his grave. Yes, that was a polio joke.
9:22- Then that guy you talked to in St. Louis is a shitty business man, Mitt. Maybe you can buy his business, bury it in debt and sell it?
9:24- It’s the same sales pitch that was made in 1980, but not even Democrats can call Reagan an asshole, so, let’s ignore that, shall we?
9:27- Oh the deficit. Paul Krugman just poured a stiff drink.
9:28- Mitt Romney likes PBS, but it’s fucking gone. Corporate welfare? Shh, just fight over your bread crumbs, people.
9:30- I have a deficit reduction plan of my own: Beat Wall Street CEOs heads against the wall until they cough up all the money they earned through the bubbles that crashed the economy.
9:31- Simpson-Bowles? I’m not even going to go there. I’ll let the Nobel Prize winner do it.
9:35- Holy crap, the President actually said ‘corporate welfare’. The Fox News pundit room just exploded. Mark it down.
9:39- Oh, the laboratories of democracy. So when Louisiana lets dead bodies pile up in the streets, this is fine, b/c hey, it’s just one big experiment!
9:42- Shorter Romney-If you’re over 60-please stop listening. Please. Ignorance is bliss.
9:47- You know what the best argument for nationalized health care is? Listening to this prattle about who wants to destroy Medicare.
9:50- It’s cute that Jim Lehrer thinks he’s in charge of this thing. Mitt Romney’s already threatened to fire him, why would he think he’s in charge?
9:52- I’d really like to know who the President is smiling at while Mitt Romney is going on about ‘repeal and replace’.
9:56- Oh, goody! Healthcare! Get ready for more ‘repeal and replace’ bullshit. How the fuck does people not being able to afford their insurance have anything to do with the Affordable Care Act? Better, how does repealing it improve this situation?
9:57- Deep Mitt Romney-Expensive things hurt families. For example, my car elevator stabbed a guy and his kids last week.
10:01- Yes, Willard, it’s obviously the President’s fault that the GOP categorically refused to do anything ever with the President for as long as he insists on being an African American Democratic politician.
10:04- Do not fucking start on me about the Cleveland Clinic. They provide great care b/c they consistently redirect charity cases to the other hospitals in the region. So, they always, always ensure that they get paid.
10:08- ‘The free market and individual responsibility always work best’. The Wall St. meltdown would like to have some words with you, Willard.
10:10- As always, the President’s biggest problem is that he is smart and Americans are, on average, dumb.
10:11- Reagan! Stab a poor person, then claim you helped them. Then, drink.
10:12- Broaden the base and lower the rates is your new official dog whistle for ‘soak the poor’.
10:14- Mitt Romney loves great schools! They’re just the right size!
10:17- So, the guy who raised fees on blind people as a governor is talking about how we ‘take care of the disabled’? Fucking hell.
10:22- You know what will reduce the need for education funding? Melting the planet. So, yeah, fuck green jobs.
10:23- I wonder if Mitt Romney is aware of the passage of time. He hasn’t been governor for 8 fucking years.
10:25- Obama finally got a small, faded laugh from the audience about Mitt Romney’s busy first day. About time.
10:26- Rattling off a list of his accomplishments in closing had to be something you know the President was keeping in his back pocket. Don’t be surprised when you see it again two more times.
10:28- The President is being too fucking gracious here. Don’t thank Mitt Romney for rudely attempting to punt you around the building.
10:29- Willard Romney: There are two paths America can take- You can get fucked by the rich slowly, or we can drive the knife in all at once.
10:33- Families are on stage. This is the closest Mitt Romney’s kids have ever been to black people who weren’t bringing them drinks.
10:41- Chris Matthews is angry. Very, very angry. EVERYONE, OFF HIS LAWN.
10:55- One more thought, in closing: If you think Joe Biden is going to allow for that level of disrespect and bullshitting, then you don’t know Joe Fucking Biden, my friend.
I don’t want to get involved with who ‘won’ or ‘lost’ this debate, because there are nine million fucking pundits who will handle that for the next 72 hours. Given that Rachel Maddow just said she doesn’t know who won and Steve Schmidt is actively masturbating, I think it’s pretty obvious Mitt Romney was a bit stronger in cadence tonight.
There was, admittedly, a lethargy to the President’s delivery tonight. It highlights that running a campaign and being a President is exhausting. Dealing with the bi-polar nature that is this country doubles it. The best thing the President has going for him is that he is still running against Mitt Romney.
