Christstollen is delicious German Christmas bread with a long history. It goes back to early 15th century, although the ingredients they used were slightly different. Because of fasting during the Advent season, no one could use butter, so they had to use oil. Continue reading
Christmas
31 posts
What are your annual family Christmas traditions? If you don’t have a family, have you created your own Christmas traditions?
My family is not one to invest a lot of energy into “doing things”, if you know what I mean. It didn’t bother me so much as a child, but as an adult I’m frequently exasperated at how much cajoling and convincing it takes to get my family to expend energy on anything that’s outside their expected routine. This year, for instance, will be the first time that everybody will be present – to include me! – in the same house, at the same time, in several years due to my recent multi-year tour through Southwest Asia. As we were planning the get together this year I suggested we should do a White Elephant gift exchange instead of a more traditional gift exchange, owing to the shitty economy and the fact we’re all (blessedly) employed adults who frankly don’t need more stuff. No money spent and you get rid of crap laying around your house! What’s not to like? But oh my lord the anxiety at discussing trying something new . . . Continue reading
Let’s face it, this is the time of the year that everyone feels the need to look festive, even if they’re actually wearing their cranky pants and bitching about the economy/weather/kids these days, etc.
However, in the quest to appear festive, many don’t actually put a lot of thought into what they put in their yards and houses during the holiday season – just so they have something to point to and say, “Look how festive I am! Look at my festive f**king house!!” Continue reading
There is still plenty of time to order gifts for all your loved ones and people you’re obligated to get gifts for even though you don’t love them. To help you pick the very best gifts we have hand picked these items from all price ranges that are sure to impress. Click the image on any of the gifts to buy it on Amazon. Continue reading
Oh hi there! Are you stressed out? Got a lot on your plate? Have so much to think about that you couldn’t possibly add anything else into the mix? Too bad, because Chanukah and Christmas are in less than three weeks! Gift-buying stress and impending family gatherings for everybody!
Fortunately, there’s at least one very, very good part about those two holidays, because really, who doesn’t like free stuff? And so, to get us in the gift-receiving spirit, today’s Question of the Day: What’s the best gift you received in 2011? Continue reading
If you’re anything like me, you probably like Christmas music, but are sick of hearing the same verse of “Jingle Bells” done over and over again, as well as the latest group of teen boys singing “Deck the Halls” or mangling the words to the “Twelve Days of Christmas.” Well, I’m here to help you out. You see, there have been centuries of beautiful Christmas music that no one sings anymore. Maybe not no one, but these treasures tend to remain hidden until someone like Enya dusts them off for her next Christmas album, or some random pop “star” does really shitty renditions of them. Continue reading
While Newsbunny has been locked in a room, watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, 24/7 until her heart grows two sizes larger, I will counter her list of the worst Christmas songs with the best of Christmas cheer. Continue reading
Google really knows how to make people like them and shill their products at the same time. They have setup a Google Voice line just for Santa so you can have him call someone and leave a message. I’m sure it’s aimed at convincing kids Santa really does exist but I have a suspicion that about 90% of these calls will be directed at adults and be slightly naughty, though this is tough to accomplish.
The basic idea is that you enter your name, the recipient’s name and then select various messages to include. I sent one to the wife and she chuckled.
Since having only one Santa related product tie in isn’t enough for a company of their size, Google has also entered the highly lucrative Santa tracking game.
More info at the Google Voice Blog.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess you’re feeling pretty stressed out. You’re probably reading this and tracking some motherfucking holiday packages via UPS in another tab, drinking some cold-ass coffee, and hating life right now.
‘I hate the holidays’, you’ll tell your coworkers over some stale, store-bought cookies in the break room. You’ll probably spend some time fantasizing about missing your flight home and instead spending the weekend toward the bottom of a bottle of middle-shelf gin and watching Die Hard, wrapped in last year’s unfortunate Snuggie. I get it, man. I do.
But let me tell you something. The holidays? They’re fucking AWESOME. And you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around, because you’re missing out. Here’s why:
Lights and decorations and shit. Have you looked at these things lately? Not from the top of a rickety ladder you borrowed from the in-laws, clutching a staple gun and freezing your ass off. Go pile your annoying kids in the car, drive through the fucking Tim Horton’s and get yourself a peppermint hot cocoa, and drive through some big-ass festive neighborhoods. Appreciate the work that went into that shit. I don’t care if you have to pretend it’s Laser Floyd, take a minute and really look around. Your kids will probably like this, too.
Christmas carols. Bing Crosby is the man. I don’t care who you are, his rendition of White Christmas will have you shitting candy canes. Almost every version of Carol of the Bells is fucking metal, even sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. And don’t even get me started on Vince Guaraldi’s A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack. All that tree needed was a little love! Shit.
Presents. No, you greedy asshole – buying other people presents. Thoughtful presents. Sure, it’s great getting that brand-new fancy Betamax player or a swell pair of tropical-printed Jams, but the look on a kid’s face when they open up the lead-encrusted plastic cartoon gewgaw they so desperately coveted? Oh, it’ll melt your damn heart. Yes, even yours. Put down the clearance travel mug and try harder. Do it for love. Or, do it to one-up cocky old Aunt Maureen. I don’t care, but they will.
It’s a Wonderful Life. Hope you’ve got a full box of tissues, loser! This one never fails. Zuzu’s petals! Shit, I’m tearing up. I’m ok, I’m ok.
Hot motherfucking cocoa. I’m drinking one now, bitches, and it’s good.
Remember, if you’ve given this whole thing an honest try and you’re still grinchier than a Gosselin on a camping trip, there’s always New Year’s Eve. Take two Xanax, two bottles of champagne, one regrettable hookup, and a walk of shame, and call me in the morning.
There’s always next year.
While reading Gawker’s “10 Most Annoying Christmas Songs,” I found myself disagreeing with some of the selections. Egged on by a friend, I’ve decided to put together a list of some of my favorite Winter/Holiday songs. I fully expect, and actually welcome, people who disagree with my selections.