celebrity gossip

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Crass Gossip: Monday Edition

Irony: Not drinking during the St. Patrick’s Day parade the day before to avoid a hangover, and your allergies wind up kicking your ass all day. I hope everyone in the library is enjoying me blowing my nose and/or sneezing every two seconds.

  • More Duggars! This time it’s not Michelle (woman has got to give her uterus a rest), but the oldest Duggar’s wifey is popping out her second. They also announced they’re planning a home birth. Hot. [Link via People]
  • Usher has a SEX TAPE!! I love celebrity sex tapes. I made friends freshman year in college by announcing I had Paris’s sex tape. Everyone was always like “This sucks” after watching though. That was such a bad sex tape. Actually, Kim’s sex tape sucked too. Tila’s sucks too. Kendra’s was kind of sad. (All links are NSFW/NSF-LIFE!!, obviously. Enjoy, pervs). Maybe I don’t love sex tapes anymore. Usher and his wifey are reportedly both “givers.” Based on the way he mooooves, the sex has to be good. Right? Right?? [Link via TMZ]
  • Kimora Lee Simmons’ eggo might be preggo again! The detective work in this article revolves around whether she’s really just post-baby bumpin, or new-baby bumpin. I like babies, so I’m hoping for the latter. [Via Bossip]
  • Paps “sneakily” got pictures of Coco topless in her backyard. As the article says, if you believe this, I got a bridge to sell you. Coco’s chichis make my eyeballs burst. Slightly NSFW (or for a library for that matter..awwwkward!) [Link via MTO]
  • Richard Hatch, the dude from Survivor and current Celebrity Apprentice contestant, is back to prison for not paying his taxes. He’s already spent 3 years (!) in prison for not paying taxes on his original $1 million prize. Wtf, people – just pay your damn taxes. [Link via TMZ]
  • Lindsay: Quit smoking! Back to New York. Soooo stressed by the paparazzi. Pulled over for blowing a stop sign. Fires her management. Is it just me, or are gossip sites reaching for straws with this chick?
  • I saw a lot of you watched the Rebecca Black video. Not sure if this has been posted already, but she’s apparently part of some agency that will basically make a music video for your fame-ball wanna-be-starlet kids. Um, sex tapes are free, dude. [Link via Blackbook]
  • Is it just me or does Miley look a little wastey-face here? Oh she’s just being Miley! (ba-dum-dum) [Link via Perez]
  • Gross? Someone tried to snap a picture of Jakey Gylenhaal taking a leak at SXSW. Jakey apparently got all mad and bad. That’s hot. Also, who wants a picture of peeing peen? Don’t answer that. [Via Socialite Life]
  • Ryan Philippe might be a daddy again, according to model/actress Alexi Knapp (Alexis, darling, your 15 minutes starts now). They dated (pre Amanda Seyfried), she’s pregnant, blah blah blah. Shit, I’d want Ryan to be my baby daddy too. [Link via ONTD]
  • K-Fed and Britney: co-parenting! Here’s pics of K-Fed, Brit-Brit and her boyfriend Jason Trawick attending Sean Preston’s pee-wee baseball game. This is pretty cute, but should I not comment on the elephant in the room that is Kevin Federline? Damn, homie. [Link via DListed]

Okay, I’m dead. Volunteers for the rest of the week?

Crass Gossip: Wednesday

Hey, everybody, here’s your Crass Gossip for Wednesday. Enjoy.

  • Charlie Sheen. That is all. Google his name if you really want Charlie Sheen news. You get a picture and that’s it.
  • But, because I’m a hypocrite, Tila Tequila would like to be Charlie’s only “goddess.” Because she was so good for Casey Johnson, right? Anyway, she says she can “show Chucky a good time- but also help him out.” Vomit, vomit, vomit. (The Superficial)
  • Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are fighting viciously over custody of a NYC borough! Wait. They’re neither fighting viciously nor fighting over a borough. “The Bronx” is their son, and Fall Out Boy’s Wentz wants joint legal/physical custody. Simpson, who had a bit part in “The Hot Chick,” wanted primary custody. Sounds riveting. (US)
  • Miley Cyrus is texting some guy from Kings of Leon. I guess she could…wait for it…”Use Somebody”? (Sorry.) (Dlisted)
  • This is the headline of an actual article: “Kim Kardashian Is ‘Princess Jasmine’ At Hotels, Wears Tight Leather Pants.” In other “news”, I check into hotels as Ursula, the villain from “The Little Mermaid” (yes, I demand to be called by that full description) and wear striped pajama pants. Flannel if I’m feeling frisky. (The Huffington Post)
  • Lindsay goes to court tomorrow. She could do jail time! She may not do jail time! She’ll plead guilty! She refuses a plea bargain! She’ll certainly be wearing clothing (Jesus, I hope)! We’ll talk about that more, you know, tomorrow. But if you can’t get enough, knock yourself out: (TMZ)
  • You know who’s not doing jail time because he DID plea bargain? Mel Gibson. (Popeater)
  • Lady Gaga’s apartment used to be filled with “bed bugs and roaches on the floor and mirrors with cocaine everywhere.” Stars: They’re just like us! (The Hollywood Gossip)
  • Michele Salahi, apparently of “The Real Houswives of D.C.,” the one neither you or I watched, got kicked off of “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.” Fame addiction (her alleged affliction) is kind of like my “addiction” to hot bubble baths, I guess. You’ll never guess the answer to this, but is she pissed? SPOILER ALERT: Yes. Her dubious argument is that she has multiple sclerosis. I’m not a medical doctor, but while MS is a disease, it is not actually an addiction. (Dlisted)
  • Maybe it’s a good thing Michele’s dangerous habit of speedballing fame isn’t being treated at Pasadena with Drew. (Joke, joke.) Mike Starr, former Alice in Chains bassist and part of Season Three of “Celebrity Rehab”, passed away yesterday at age 44. Cause of death is unknown, but Starr struggled for the better part of two decades with an opiate addiction. RIP Mike, and please think for a moment today of all those that have struggled with, succumbed to, or beat their addictions. (Radar)

 

So that’s our Hump Day. Very little sex involved. If you’re interested in collaborating with myself or Alluson, let us know in the comments if there’s a day you’d like to take or if you’d just like to throw some tidbits our way when you have them.

Edit by Alluson: Ms.Antropy has volunteered to do Thursday’s gossip, and the lovely ihatediamonds is covering Friday’s. Weekend duty is open!

Weekend and Monday Gossip Catchup

Allie done got herself an author account and she is just so excited to share this week’s gossip with y’all. So excited that she immediately put down her Evidence textbook and began writing this post for you. Since this post is coming late, I’m including the weekend’s gossip, and the top stories from today.

  • Shocker!: WB fires Charlie Sheen from CBS comedy Two and a Half Men. No word on whether production on the show will continue without Mr. Sheen. One and a Half Men doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, especially since that Angus T. Jones is ginormous now and is more of a Man than a Half-Man. Two Men and a Baby? Hasn’t that been done already? Anyway…(via TMZ).
  • Charlie’s Sheen’s response to being fired:

    “This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of their bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”

    I get the sense we should be ignoring this guy for his own good.(Link via TMZ).

  • Lindsay Lohan is apparently upset that Miley took a few hits at her during her opening monologue on Saturday Night Live this past weekend. Lorne Michaels is like a “father figure” to her, blah blah blah. Sounds like someone needs to learn how to take a joke. (Link via Dlisted).
  • Here’s the clip that’s got LiLo all heated:

  • In other LiLo news, the jewelry shop sold the video footage of her allegedly stealing the necklace for around $25,000 to $35,000 depending on which site you read. AP bought the footage and it was quickly licensed out to ET. You can watch Lindz’s alleged thievery by clicking here. Sites are reporting that the prosecution is pissed as hell that the jewelry store sold the footage, since it makes the jewelry store owners look like money-grubbing famewhores trying to make a quick buck off poor Lilo.
  • Picture of the mini-fashionista Suri Cruise popped up with her with a binkie in her mouth. Suri’s nearly 5 years old, so this is a little weird for some people. I say let the kid enjoy her binkie, not like Tom and Katie can’t afford the orthodontics in 5 years. *Insert obligatory barley water joke here.* Link via E!
  • No big deal: Amanda Seyfried dated Alexander Skarsgård. In other news, Brad Pitt and I just grabbed coffee last week. No big deal. Via Dlisted via Elle
  • Ke-dollar sign-sha made a deal with Lifestyles to put her glittery face on condoms. Is her face on the wrapper or on the condom itself? Can we blow her face up like a balloon? And pop it? I task you all to report back to me! Link via TMZ.
  • Comedian Mike DeStefano passed away of a heart attack. DeStefano recently was among the top five finalists in NBC’s past season of Last Comic Standing. Bummer. Link via Punchline Magazine.
  • Rachel Green starred a commercial for Smartwater that involves all types of internet memes, including my favorite lip-syncing little guy, puppies, BABIES!, double rainbow guy, Brad Wollock getting kicked in the nuts, and Rachel getting seXXXy with some water. Video here!

If anyone else wants to get in on the gossip action, holler at your gurl (that’d be me). This is harder than it looks, I give fellow Crasstalk authors props! I pulled most of gossip from TMZ and Dlisted today, so if anyone has any good sites to recommend, please let me know in the comments. I know we had some interest for rotating gossip columns during the Writer’s Workshop, so let me know about this as well!