Good evening Crasstalk. Hope you had a nice Saturday and have something fun planned for tonight.
Have a great night.
Important Message: We are moving servers again this weekend, probably Sunday night. We’ll do our best to keep the downtime to a minimum, but depending on your ISP you might have some issues. I’m letting you guys know now so you can check Twitter and Facebook for our status.
Another important message. This Sunday we will be having another writers work shop to brainstorm ideas and help each other develop stories. It will be a great chance to get feedback or come up with post ideas. The post will go up in the late afternoon or early evening depending on when The Grand Inquisitor decides to get out of bed.
Good evening my friends. Hope you’ve had a great day. Since we’ve all started spending time here I have occasionally been sharing tales of the scary, weird, and paranormal. Since this seems to be a lot of fun I am going to make this a weekly tradition. So wrap up in a nice blanket and let’s trade whispers in the dark about the mysterious things we often leave unsaid in the light of day.
Is this you right now?
Let’s all stay together and everyone turn on their flashlight. We will be back to the camp site soon. Have a great night.
Well hello there! Please excuse the earlier unpleasantness, life on the internet is often brutish, nasty, and short. Let’s put it all behind us, shall we? Grab your 4 Loko and let’s get the party started.
Important Message: We are moving servers again this weekend, probably Sunday night. We’ll do our best to keep the downtime to a minimum, but depending on your ISP you might have some issues. I’m letting you guys know now so you can check Twitter and Facebook for our status.
Another important message. This Sunday we will be having another writers work shop to brainstorm ideas and help each other develop stories. It will be a great chance to get feedback or come up with post ideas. The post will go up in the late afternoon or early evening depending on when The Grand Inquisitor decides to get out of bed.
Ok gang. Everything is going to be all right. 99.99% of you will never do anything that even comes close to warranting execution. You know our affection for you is genuine, so relax. Here are some nice pictures to make the bad thoughts go away.
We have grown a lot over the last few weeks and it has been a crazy ride, but everything is going to be just fine.
Buongiorno. I am Mastro Titta, official executioner of both the Papal States and Crasstalk.com. I learned my craft from the world’s original commenter executioner, Jack Ketch (may he rest in peace). I am now charged with seeing that holy justice is given to the eternally damned.
I will administer swift justice to commenters and authors alike. There are various classes of sundry criminals who could meet their fate at the end of my guillotine’s blade. Trolls, the un-funny, the pointlessly belligerent and those who can’t follow the rules, you may find yourself meeting at the merciful hands of Mastro Titta.
Today our penitent who must be publicly executed is OMG! Ponies! He is guilty of numerous sins against the church and the Papal States and shall have his ability to post articles lopped off.
He wrote an entire post about establishing rules for Crasstalk, rather than, you know, emailing one of the site’s admins.
In the early days, Crasstalk was a backwater with few visits but so many great things to share. To help bring some of those early posts to light we present Crasstalk Classic. Our second classic post goes all the way back to November 2010 when Botswana Meat Commission FC decided to test the limits of human endurance by drinking as much Four Loko as possible. Now go relive the magic.
IT’S ON! I picked up three cans of 4LOKO on the way home from work today, making me the first employed person to ever actually buy this product.
Which flavors, you ask? Good question! The first one is obviously lemon lime. It says so on the ENORMOUS can, plus it’s yellow and green, the ISO-certified universal colors for that flavor combination. I also picked up fruit punch flavor (RED!) as well as the purple variety, which sources tell me is called Purple Drank flavor. Fun times.
So I’m now going to try to drink at least two of these as fast as possible so that I can liveblog my own death. Haha, no, I’m fairly sure that I will die young, but it will NOT be at the hand of 4LOKO. I got this. I’m not an amateur kids. I’m a professional drinker. I may not actually get drunk very often anymore, but I’m feeling VERY good about my liver’s ability to take on this challenge. Not only can I generally hold my alcohol, but I am a voracious consumer of energy drinks. So I guess I fit right into 4LOKO’s high school parking lot demo!
UPDATE: Just cracked open the lemon-lime 4LOKO and took as big a chug as I could. You feel the energy rush instantly. Feeling all tingley and happy right now. Kids, if you want to feel good, drink LOTS of 4LOKO. Don’t worry if your parents don’t want you to… it will make you feel good. Hang out by the dumpsters behind the Quik-Trip and have an older member of your community buy it for you.
Stay tuned for more updates.
8:01
My head feels fuzzy, like a tight sheet of cloth draped over a wire frame that is blowing in the wind. It’s not unpleasant. The caffeine hasn’t really hit me yet. Don’t feel twitchy at all. The can is about 3/4 done already.
8:08
The can is almost gone.
My goatee looks fucking HUGE in that picture. I look like a fucking Civil War General! I love this because in reality my shit grows in all patchy and whatnot.
I honestly feel like I could invade Shiloh right now. The Civil War would have been over in a week TOPS if the Union had this shit back then
8:14
The first can is kicked. I’m watching “Weeds” and thinking about how awesome of a Civil War general I would be. This is pretty much the pinnacle of human existence.
It is officially called “LOKO UVA” flavor. I have no idea what that means but it must be high-tech and good. The actual taste of Purple Loko Drank is interesting. It’s slightly bitter, with a hint of sweet berry goodness and a frisson of alcoholic burn. Complex nose, delightful full body ripples across the tongue. It’s no wonder Robert Parker’s gardener gave this his top rating of 5.0 one night after stabbing a carnival worker.
O RLY?
8:33
I’m watching “Johnny Dangerously” starring Michael Keaton and Joe Piscopo. This is making me want to stag a leprechaun in the dickhole. This movie is AWFUL. What the fuck were people thinking back in 1984. Their 20s nostalgia sucked balls. I DEMAND SCORCESE.
8:42
I finally broke the seal. These cans come in only one official size: FUCKING GINORMOUS. It is like trying to drink a punch bowl. I’m amazed I even made it through a can and a half before having to whizz. Also, the caffeine is starting to take its toll on my stomach. I feel like Manny Pacquiao just punched me in the gut. I’m slightly short of breath and feeling a sharp pain in my stomach. Despite that, I’m feeling pretty good. The euphoria of the alcohol and caffeine is still coursing through my brain. It’s fairly lovely actually.
9:06
Just took my second piss of the night. Bladder was about to EXPLODE from all the carbonation of these coddamn drinks. Now I’m watching “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” and feeling like anyone involved with this piece of shit should be killed in brutal car accident.
9:14
I’m pretty much done with the second can of 4LOKO. I’m still standing and, while buzzed, I feel like I can still keep up a decent conversation. Also, Tucker Max is history greatest monster.
9:34
Two cans down! I just started on the third can (fruit punch). All is well. The stomach pains went away and now I just feel really drunk. The fruit punch drank has a nice flavor. Not bitter, not too sweet. I feel pleasantly buzzed and euphoric. Really, this is quite nice.
9:50
I am ridciously drunk at this point. Any pretense of sobriety is lost. I am FUCKED UP. Like, I am fairly sure ther are leprechauns dancing around my living room right now. FUCK THE FUCKING LEPRECHAUNS. Leave me alone you green skinned bastards!
9:55
Ridcousl! Ha! Being retardedly drunk is actually pretty fun. Right now when I look at the ceiling I see a fucking Santana concert happening. That may or may not be good.
10:15
At this point I’m straught up hammered and am having a tough time tpin actual shit. Fp real Om fucked up and thsi 4LOKO shit is for real..
10:56
Ok, so I already prayed to the porcelain god. I couldn’t help it. My stomach just straight up rebelled. Whoa, this stuff is REALLY hard on the ol’ stomach.
11:16
Ok, at this point I already prayed to the porcelain god. Got sick, booted, straight up yakked in the toilet. Yep, I got sick. Franklyt, I’m pretty sure it was just the caffeine that got to me. But HOLY SHIT this 4LOKO stuff is for real. I feel like Charlie Sheen.
I know you are a group of crafty people so today we’re going to share those items of handiwork that you’re most proud of. It could be a sweater you knitted, a school project you “helped” your kids with, a barn you raised, a birdhouse you made, a wall you painted or just how you craftily arranged the twelve pieces of furniture to fit into your 400 square foot studio. Craftiness comes in all forms.
To put a picture into a comment you will need to host the image somewhere. Personally, Imgur has worked well for me, but you can get them from anywhere. A warning that photos hosted on Facebook should probably be saved elsewhere. Facebook’s new image viewer makes it very hard to get to the actual photo. Images you have on another site need to be the actual image file and not the page that contains them. The files in in .jpg, .png, .gif or something like that.
In the comment box tell us a little something about the picture and then include a link as follows.
Happy Friday. Bet you don’t feel like working. Let me help you out with that.
Now it’s 10 minutes closer to the weekend. You’re welcome. Have a great day.
Important Message: We are moving servers again this weekend, probably Sunday night. We’ll do our best to keep the downtime to a minimum, but depending on your ISP you might have some issues. I’m letting you guys know now so you can check Twitter and Facebook for our status.
It’s time to go back in time and bring out those sexy memories. Was there a song that made you want to crawl across the bed like a tiger even if you were only 15? What was playing on the car radio when you lost your V-card in the backseat? Did you blush when a certain video came on and your parents were in the room? Remember, we’re not talking about songs from last year, but those of yester-year.
George Michael’s iconic video for Freedom is so impossibly and undeniably sexy given that it featured the original supermodels Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington, Tatjana Patitz, Cindy Crawford, and hot menz, John Pearson, Mario Sorrenti, and Peter Formby all half-naked and slinky. I wanted/want to lick the screen.
Chris Isaac’s Wicked Game featured another uber model of her time, Helena Christensen. Smart guy – I bet he had a fun afternoon. She probably single-handedly (heh) started the boy-shorts trend. He’s kinda hot, too.
*Keep it safe for work and remember the rules – no lady nip (PATRIARCHY!), ding-a-lings or vagine!
