LunaticontheGrass

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15 Unusual Phobias

We all have bizarre idiosyncrasies, strange things we’re afraid of, paranoias that just seems irrational.  Have you ever wondered what it’s called?  Well, here is a completely random list of phobias that may or may not relate to you.

Phobophobia – fear of having a phobia.

So you’re afraid of being afraid, so you become even more afraid, causing you to become even more afraid of being afraid than you were in the first place, and so on.  It’s like a dream within a dream within another dream, within a movie screen.  Only not really.

Agyrophobia – fear of crossing roads..

What about jokes about crossing roads?  Why did the chicken cross the “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”  No?  OK.

Anthophobia – fear of flowers.

I don’t understand – this seems perfectly natural.

I wasn't afraid of flowers until just now.

Ablutophobia– fear of bathing, washing, or cleaning..

I believe this is the patron phobia among hermits.  I love taking showers and being clean, but I hate picking up after myself.  Can I be considered partially ablutophobic?   Would it be called hemi-ablutophobic?

Chorophobia – fear of dancing.

Well, some people just shouldn’t dance anyway.

Um…

Now I’m afraid of dancing.

Somniphobia – fear of sleep.

I just can’t even conceive of that.  Sleep is what I do when shit has hit the fan and I’ve been exhausted by stress.  Sleep is a sweet, sweet escape from the world.  I am most definitely pro-sleep.

Ergasiophobia, Ergophobia – fear of work or functioning, or a surgeon’s fear of operating.

Seriously?  “Sorry  boss, can’t come in today, I have Ergophobia.  Yeah, it’s a thing.”

Of course surgeons could be imagining this.

Well if it isn't my old friend Mr McCreg. With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia – fear of the number 666.

I’m afraid of words of that length.  What’s that called?

Kinemortophobia – fear of the undead, specifically zombies.

Who wouldn’t be afraid of zombies?  Are there some sort of warm fuzzy zombies that bake pies and give back massages I haven’t heard about that most people wouldn’t be afraid of?

OK, this one is kind of adorable.

Koumpounophobia – fear of sewing buttons.

What about sewing on snaps?  Hemming something?  Having buttons thrown at you?  I need more information!

Nomatophobia – fear of names.

But…. Why does it have a name?

Oikophobia – fear of home surroundings and household appliances.

“Home surroundings”?  As in walls?  Or just your toaster?  In which case, I understand.

Not technically a toaster...

Paraskavedekatriaphobia, Paraskevidekatriaphobia, Friggatriskaidekaphobia – fear of Friday the 13th.

These names have to be made up.  They probably are – I’ll admit my research was minimal.

Tetraphobia – fear of the number 4.

This must have made being a Brett Favre fan rather difficult.  John Madden most definitely does not have this phobia.

I have a phobia of this guy.

Coulrophobia – fear of clowns (not restricted to evil clowns).

Does anyone actually like clowns?  How about this – who would you rather have direct contact with; a dentist or a clown?

Exception to the rule?  Fizbo. Thus is the power of Cameron, of Modern Family.

Fizbo

So what did I miss?  Feel free to add to the list with your own favorite phobia.   My real phobia, which I didn’t even know was a thing until a few weeks ago?  Trypophobia – I just went to google image it to share pictures, and it just about made me cry.  So, no visuals for that one (at least not from me).

Until next time!

MP

Netflix Sunday: Party Down edition

Hey all, sorry for last week’s hiatus.  It happens.  Here’s what should have been last week’s installment:

Not a fan of sci-fi (for shame)?  Not in the mood for heavy coming-of-age dramas from the 90s?  Ready for 30 minutes of awesome at a time?  Well, Party Downis the show for you.

There are several valuable lessons to be learned here.  For one, unicorns and wizards are NOT hard sci-fi, lemons are known as “sun eggs”, and if you’re going to have an orgy party, your invitations should probably indicate as such.

Aired on Encore from 2009-2010, this show is about a group of Hollywood hopefuls working at Party Down, a second-rate catering company that while they suck, I’d love to have cater one of my events (if I was cool enough to have events, that is), where bad service, and hilarity, ensue.

Being that I’m unqualified to convey the humor of the show, I’ve decided to include a few clips for your entertainment.

Here is an apt description of the catering capabilities of the crew: Smackdown

Constance (Jane Lynch) arguing semantics: Hooker?

Fearless leader Ron Donald, calmly and rationally handling a crisis: Crisis handling

Lizzy Caplan handling a dog crap crisis; Oops

The crew has to cater a variety of parties, and is pretty much known to be the cheap alternative to good catering companies.  Their catering style normally includes someone getting high, having sex in inappropriate places and/or with costumes.  There’s also always multiple bullshit sessions and arguments with or near Henry (Adam Scott) at the bar, and inappropriate inter-employee sex between Henry and Casey (Lizzy Caplan), and a good bit of Megan Mullaley playing the anti-Karen in the second season.

The show primarily focuses on six characters, but has a constant barrage of guest stars contributing to the hilarity.  If you enjoy humor and deadpan, as well as inappropriate language and behavior, with some occasional grossness mixed in.

Until next time – enjoy your TV.

Effin’ Nuclear Power: How does it work?

We’ve been hearing on the news since the earthquake/tsunami/all around shitty time in Japan started. However, have you wondered why these explosions are happening?  Well, I’ll attempt to explain it.

To break it down, fuel rods in a nuclear reactor are composed of zircoloid containing uranium dioxid  The uranium used in nuclear power plants, uranium 235, is a highly charged, fissile element.  When an element is fissile, it means it can sustain a fission chain reaction, so when the neutron (the tiny part of an atom that exists within the nucleus of said atom) touches another nucleus of uranium 235, a chain reaction occurs; causing energy release that can be harnessed via nuclear power plants.  Now, as anyone who has ever broken a sweat by way of physical effort knows that energy release creates heat, thereby making these fuel rods, well, wicked hot.

Don't try this at home.

Because these fission reactions can cause explosions, and to keep these rods from completely blowing up, the fission reaction is slowed down by control rods composed of boron, cadmium, and hafnium.  These elements can absorb neutrons, slowing the collision of the nuclei, and diminishing the power of the uranium rods.

In fact, if they become hot enough, they can swell and crack, which would cause radioactive gases (caesium and iodine) to escape, which is bad news bears for everyone.  So, a system had to be devised to keep these rods cool enough to; 1) not incinerate everyone in the area, 2) not melt a radioactive hole in the ground, and 3) not give everyone radiation poisoning.

And how do they do this?  With water, glorious water – is there anything it can’t do?  The Water is pumped into the reactor, which contains the insanely hot uranium rods, and is contained in a concrete housing.  To give you an idea of how effective concrete can be in protecting us from radiation; it’s what is keeping the Chernobyl reactor sealed off after their disaster in 1986.  Before you start to worry this will end up like Chernobyl, it’s not likely.  The reactors in the Chernobyl plant were not surrounded by any remotely effective barrier, leaving everyone completely unprotected from any sort of accident.  The Japanese know more, and are more careful than the people who ran the Chernobyl plant, so the risk is significantly lower.  However, the potential danger of the situation should not be underestimated, and per the graphic I “borrowed” from MSNBC, who borrowed it from Reuters, it looks like even the concrete containment unit won’t be guaranteed to always be able to contain the melted uranium.  There are several more things that have to happen for the situation to get to that point, but there’s a lot of chaos, a lot of danger, and a lot of unknowns at the moment.

Thank you, MSNBC

*ahem*  So, the reactor has pumps for both the control rods and the circulators which, surprise surprise, circulates the water around the rods which enables them to cool more effectively than standing water.  The heated water turns into steam in the reactor, which is then pumped out through the turbine to the condenser where the steam is converted to water once again.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

Because of the earthquake, the pumps in the reactor moving the cooling water failed, thereby allowing the uranium rods to overheat and produce excessive hydrogen-containing steam.  As the rods continue to get hotter due to the lack of circulating water, steam increases, as does the pressure inside the reactor.  The pressure then makes it impossible to pump more water into the reactor.  So, the engineers, with the intention of avoiding a meltdown, allowed some of the steam to vent out of the reactor and into the environment.  The downside is the steam releases radioactive elements into the environment, hence the warnings to stay indoors and/or evacuate.

Now how does all this relate to hydrogen?  When the zircoloid tubes containing the uranium dioxide heat up, they react with the cooling water to form hydrogen which builds up in there steam.  As anyone who is familiar with the Hindenberg knows, Hydrogen is extremely explosive, so excessive pressure inside the reactor+ a teensy bit of hydrogen escaping the reactor = big explosion.

If the water levels continue to drop within the reactor, the uranium rods will overheat and melt down through the reactor.  The good news?  The melted uranium will stay inside the concrete containment unit, as happened at Three Mile Island.

Is there more?  Absolutely.  Can I fill you in on more?  Probably not much more than this without a ton of research, and they don’t pay me enough for that.  In fact, if anyone else notes any inaccuracies in this article, please point them out in the comments.  I did my best to explain this correctly, but being that my background in this includes a little college-level physics, a nuclear engineer bff, and a general curiosity for the subject matter.  There are a number of good resources on both Japan’s nuclear plants as well as nuclear power on the internet from actual nuclear scientists that should be able to add more information, should you wish to seek it out.

World Nuclear News is an industry newsletter which has quite a bit of interesting information, as well as frequent news updates regarding the situation in Japan.  Interestingly enough, they’re also on facebook.

In addition, many news websites have good information in relation to the incident.  BBC News, Reuters, MSNBC, and Kyodo News have been rather informative.

Note:  I am working today until 4PM EST without access to a computer.  So if you comment and I don’t respond, it’s not because I don’t care, it’s because I can’t see it before 4.  Where’s that computer chip for my brain?

Netflix Sunday: My So-Called Life edition

Welcome back to another edition of Netflix Sunday.  I was originally planning on sharing about more British shows, but then I remembered American TV has some awesome stuff.  America!  F*CK YEAH!

So this week’s Netflix contender is 1994’s My So Called Life. As a teenager in the 1990’s, this show was all about me and my life.  Then again, I was a teenager, so everything was about me.  Don’t judge, you thought that way as well.

My So Called life was a short-running show with all of 19 episodes, but one of my favorites that pretty successfully encapsulated the teenage experience in the 1990’s.

The story centered on a young Claire Danes as Angela Chase, a girl growing up in a suburb of Pittsburgh, who, like most of us, was growing older and emotionally ambivalent towards her parents, while discovering new friends and life experiences.

I got your emo right here

Her two best friends were Rayanne Graff, a free spirit (whose wardrobe I always idolized) with an alcoholic, mostly absent mother and a drug problem, and Rickie, the eyeliner-wearing boy who lived with his abusive uncle.  Rayanne was the bad influence, but her affection for Angela was apparent, as was her hidden vulnerability, distrust of people, and her desire for her friends to act as her family, because her family had failed her, causing you to both love and hate Rayanne.

The show was rather topical and took on some intense issues in its short run – child abuse, sex, drug use and had an openly gay teenager.  This was before Ellen Degeneres came out publicly in 2002 1997 or ’98, which was a HUGE deal, so for a show to portray a gay teenager in the mid-1990’s in a sympathetic way; in such a central role to the show was a fairly influential to a lot of people my age.

The show also starred a young Jared Leto as Jordan Catalano-the dreamy object of Angela’s affections, an eye-opener to those of us who had raging crushes on the brooding, guitar-playing hottie that pretty much all teenage crushes suck.

While show portrayed several difficult social issues, it managed to not be overly preachy.  It’s honest look at teenage life and angst wasn’t necessary sympathetic or critical – Angela makes a lot of decisions she’s not sure if she should be proud of, but shows that time for what it is – a difficult time of self-discovery as teenagers realize their potential to become independent adults, while dealing with learning some of the harder lessons alone.  Also, the soundtrack is classic 1990’s.  Can’t beat that!

Netflix Sunday: Who should (and shouldn’t) catch up on ‘Doctor Who’

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We all have them.  The TV shows we missed out on when they originally aired because we  didn’t know about them until ages later, or hadn’t heard of them because they’re on the real BBC, but BBC America won’t air them because they want to show the non-BBC Star Trek, TNG at the same freaking time as Syfy.  But I digress.

Your solution is Netflix.  We all know Netflix and we should all have Netflix, because, well, it’s eight damn dollars a month for streaming only, and if you can’t shell that out for some awesome entertainment you missed out on the first time around, there’s nothing I can do for you here.

*ahem*

Speaking of the BBC, my first suggestion is no surprise to anyone who knows me or has asked for TV suggestions on or off the internet: Doctor Who.

If you’re not familiar, Doctor Who is about a humanoid alien who travels through all of space and time, having adventures and saving the day (or all of eternity).  Not bad for a lonely Time Lord.

Doctor Who is a blend of sci-fi, fantasy, and a little bit of British wit and is always fascinating, exciting, and never boring.  The show provides a fantastic mix of serious, heart-wrenching episodes as well as those with the perfect balance of suspense and humor.  Each incarnation of The Doctor has his own personality and sense of style, and creates his own reality that seamlessly ties who he once was to who he is now.

The show also tells multiple stories as the series goes on.  Some are complete after a few episodes, and others continue through seasons and between incarnations of the Doctor.  There’s plot development with most episodes, even if it’s in a minute amount.  There are some that are great episodes seemingly independently of the rest of the series, but then the theme or character turns up unexpectedly in another storyline and another time.  It’s not as complex as Lost* was in that you don’t have to keep a database updated with every line of every episode, but it does require some attention to detail – and the end in the stories of the Whoniverse actually make sense!

Doctor Who, as it exists now, is going into Season 6 this spring.  However, it’s technically season 32, which requires an explanation that I’ll give…. now.  The show originated in 1963 via the good people at the BBC.  An older gentleman by the name of William Hartnell played the role of the Doctor, and the show became so popular that by the time he wanted to retire, the producers decided to give the Doctor the ability to regenerate.  Per the show, when the doctor is so sick or injured he cannot recover, he has can regenerate into a completely new person.  He gets a new look, personality and fashion sense because the Doctor is never a jeans and t-shirt type, the man’s got style, dammit.

In any case, the show premiered in 1963, went off the air in the 80s, and was re-launched as an American version in 1996 which failed miserably.  In fact, that might be the origin of “epic fail”, but then was finally relaunched by the BBC, as it should be, in 2005 with the introduction of the 9th Doctor.

The Doctor gets lonely, so he usually has at least one companion with him on his adventures to add a human element, give him company, and most conveniently for the sake of exposition.  Typically the companions are young and female.  It seems the 900 year old Doctor is probably secretly a dirty old man, but we don’t get to see that on camera.  Only his genius, charm, and distinctive sense of style are visible to us, the lowly human audience.

Season 1 of the relaunch, (or season 27 if you prefer), stars Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor, and Billie Piper plays his companion, Rose.  You might be familiar with Piper from Secret Diary of a Call Girl, and Christopher Eccleston because he’s awesome, and also because he sort of recently played the invisible guy on Heroes.  I mean, when he wasn’t invisible at least.

Seasons 2-4 brings about the 10th Doctor – one Mr. David Tennant of Barty Crouch Jr (and some of those Shakespeare guy’s performances) fame.  At a young age, Mr. Tennant decided to be an actor and would tell people that one day he would grow up to play Doctor Who on TV.  Now, my childhood plan of living at Disney World never panned out, but I’m happy for him anyway.

The newer series has plenty of nods to the original, so there’s still the Doctor Who familiarity for those who have seen the older ones but not this new set.  There is a variety of original series villains, such as the classic Daleks, Cybermen, and the living plastic Autons.  New villains and characters are introduced, such as Lady Cassandra O’Brien Dot Delta Seventeen, the Face of Boe, the (farting) Slitheens, and my personal favorite the Weeping Angels.

Since the BBC employs approximately 37 working actors, there are some familiar faces through the series such as Billie Piper of Secret Diary of a Call Girl as the Doctor’s first companion, Rose, Simon Pegg in a delightfully creepy role, Freema Agyeman, now of Law & Order, UK, and Catherine Tate, of the hilarious Catherine Tate show (which you should also watch).  You’ll also be able to pick out a variety of Harry Potter actors; Rita Skeeter, Barty Crouch Sr, Moaning Myrtle, and freaking DUMBLEDORE (not as Dumbledore).  Also, Carey Mulligan, some actors from the British Being Human, and some kick-ass Shakespearian actors.

Seasons 1-4, plus all the applicable specials are on Netflix streaming.  Unfortunately, though season 5 is out on DVD, it has not yet been added to the streaming queue.  BBC America will likely have a season 5 marathon someday soon before season 6 premieres though, so you’ll be able to catch up then if you so desire.

Still not sure?  Maybe this will help:

Watch Doctor Who if:

  • You have a soul
  • You’re ok with a budget production and suspending disbelief when it comes to several special effects
  • You like any sci-fi series: Battlestar Galactica, any Star Wars, etc.
  • You enjoy cliffhangers, recurring characters and themes, and having to pay attention to a plot.
  • You find British Accents sexy or just generally nice to listen to.
  • You enjoy action, but not really much killing and almost zero blood and guts (there may be one time, I can’t remember)

Do not watch Doctor Who if:

  • You have no tolerance for fantasy, nor any ability to suspend disbelief.  There are some slightly holey plot points that may require this ability.
  • You hate sci-fi.  In fact, if you hate the genre, we’re probably not going to do too well here overall.
  • You think British people sound funny and you don’t like them.  Again, if that’s you, we’re not going to get along.
  • You hate having to follow a plot over several episodes to know what’s happening.

In the meantime, happy Netflixing!

*that show will never end up in this series

 

Predicting the Oscars: Best Supporting Actor

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It’s Oscars Week! (Yes, it deserves a week.)  It’s Missing Peace, Ms. Anthropy and Dancing Queen here with our amateur’s guide to the Oscars.  We’re not film industry insiders – we’re avid movie and fashion fans with opinions. Hey! Just like you!  Join us on Sunday, February 27th, for a liveblog of Oscar night, starting with the red carpet arrivals on E! (6 ET/3 PT) and switching over to ABC when the Academy Awards ceremony begins (8 ET/5 PT). We will be talking fashion, surprise wins, loser reactions and speeches that went on too long. E! has nothing on us!

Each day this week, we’ll make our picks for the winners in the “big” categories – the ones that make the careers of relative unknowns and reward those who have patiently waited, year after year, for recognition: Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Actor, Best Actress and Best Picture.  To make our picks, we’re taking a realistic approach, considering performances worthy of winning and factors that may help or hurt a nominee.

Also, you may have noticed that we listed only five categories and there are six days between today and the Oscars. That’s because on Saturday, we will be previewing red carpet fashion: the trends, do’s, don’ts and who will be on the receiving end of the coveted Ryan Seacrest “Cop a Feel” Award. Sharpen your claws, kittens!

Today’s category: Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Last year’s winner was Christoph Waltz for his wickedly terrifying and brilliant performance in Inglourious Basterds. Who will take it home this year?

Nominee: Christian Bale for The Fighter

Christian Bale in The Fighter

Advantage: Seriously dedicated himself to the role – do you see the weight loss and physical transformation?  Although Bale’s currently not working (hence the hot Golden Globes beard and the not so hot Farrah Fawcett do), he has an extremely successful acting career going back to 1987’s Empire of the Sun.  He can carry a money-making franchise like Batman but he also translates well in smaller projects. Bale is a compelling on-screen presence with a serious dedication to his craft.  Sometimes that dedication results in…

Disadvantage:  His Terminator meltdown.  Sure, everyone’s heard the tape and most people still think he’s an asshole, but Hollywood is the capital of assholery.  It would be a bit hypocritical to hold that against him.  It hasn’t stopped Julia Roberts or Russell Crowe or Mel Gibson or…

Nominee: Geoffrey Rush for The King’s Speech

Geoffrey Rush in The King's Speech

Advantage: Rush won an Oscar for 1997’s Shine, so clearly he has some fans in the Academy.  Who doesn’t love a guy who can go from an undead, morally bankrupt pirate to a gentleman spoofing the craft of acting as a royal speech coach?  Rush’s crazy-but-lovable uncle thing makes him an endearing favorite.

Disadvantage: Rush is so solid that he is easy to overlook. In some ways, being a consistently great actor can be a disadvantage at the Oscars. The Academy likes to reward “surprisingly strong” performances. Right, Julia Roberts? This year, is Rush too good to win? Will our imaginary uncle be overlooked for a scruffy ruffian? Will the Academy voters be too focused on Colin Firth’s performance to have checked the box for Rush?

Nominee: Mark Ruffalo for The Kids Are All Right

Mark Ruffalo in The Kids are All Right

Advantage: Dreamboat Ruffalo is a dreamboat (DQ begs to differ but that’s a different story for another day). Also, he comes from a film that was in limited release, which the Academy loves, and has a working actor’s humility and grace.

Disadvantage: To this day, we see Mark Ruffalo as the love interest in 13 Going on 30. And if we see it that way, everyone does, right? Ruffalo’s biggest disadvantage is that The Kids Are All Right is just all right: it isn’t a particularly important film and his performance as a sperm donor with a (misguided) heart doesn’t show the emotional depth worthy of an Oscar.

Nominee: Jeremy Renner for The Town

Jeremy Renner in The Town

Advantage: Renner was a front-runner last year for his performance in 2010’s Best Picture winner The Hurt Locker, but lost to Hollywood favorite Jeff Bridges for his amazing performance in Crazy Heart. In a mere eight years, Renner has ascended quickly, from playing Jeffrey Dahmer to being a two-time Oscar nominee. The Academy likes to reward young talent in the Supporting Actor category, so Renner may be due for a reach-around after last year’s snub.

Disadvantage: AnotherBostonStreetTough. This character is quickly becoming the new ManicPixieDreamGirl and is equally as tiresome. Renner’s performance in The Hurt Locker was far superior to this turn in Ben Affleck’s second homecoming vanity project.

Nominee: John Hawkes for Winter’s Bone

John Hawkes in Winter's Bone

Advantage: Hawkes plays an incredibly convincing scary dude here, with a buzz-worthy performance. The Academy loves drug addicts and dirt bags: Hawkes covers both.  Winter’s Bone may be the best least-seen movie of the year.  And Hawkes is a natural character actor who blends so seamlessly into roles that he can get LOST in them.

Disadvantage: Winter’s Bone made $6.4 million at the box office and, compared to Black Swan, with a box office draw of over $101 million, it’s pretty small potatoes. Have enough hoity-toity Academy members gotten around to seeing this movie yet?

Our pick for Best Supporting Actor:  Christian Bale. Talented assholes finish first. Plus, he sure is pretty. Bale’s strongest competition is Geoffrey Rush – the two have been neck-and-neck through this awards season, making Oscar night a nail-biter in this category.

Your turn.  Who’s your pick for Best Actor in a Supporting Role?

Face Off Liveblog/Loveblog

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Welcome to the Face-Off liveblog open thread! If you’re not familiar with a liveblog/loveblog/open thread, just hang out, watch the show, and comment away! It really is that simple, but I’m sure you already know that.

If you’ve been watching Face Off, you know the deal. Special effects “artists” compete by completing challenges under given time limits, and being ripped apart by a panel of judges. It’s a pretty awesome show, but the absence of Tim Gunn renders it inferior to Project Runway, which incidentally kind of started sucking, but hopefully will be back in awesome action during its next season, but I digress. Like, a lot.

So far this season, they’ve done nude body painting, created aliens from some planet that I guess was made of water, drew/painted/licked on fake tattoos, and something in the first episode that I didn’t watch, so fill in the blanks for me if you like (upon checking the website, it looks like they gave people bug heads). They also slept during challenges, made big boo-boos, bitched, flirted, and made cakes.

As for the contestants, they’re a pretty motley crew, which is to be expected for special effects artists I suppose. I’d love for the producers to throw us someone who is actually unpredictable like a guy who works in a bank and wears a tie to match his socks every day. However, our crew is a pretty colorful bunch and I wouldn’t trade any of them. Except for Tom.

Tom, aka Captain Ego has his own FX shop and I guess actually has somewhat of a career in indie film. Sweet. He has some other interesting things going on I think, but I can’t remember specifics over the sound of his massive ego.
Gage, the token gay cutie with the ear gauges apparently has awesome parents who bought him a special effects magazine when he was a kid because he was terrified of Freddy Kreuger, in an attempt to make him less scared. He was also a protégé of Tom, which Tom was sure to let the audience know in the first episode.

Anthony owns a studio called “Demonic Pumpkins Studio”, which is a pretty kick-ass name. He also won the nude painting challenge in episode 2 and claimed it was “Better than winning any Academy Award”. Aim high, Anthony.
Megan; a 24 year old Pittsburgh suicide girl, has a not-at-all subtle crush on Conor and hasn’t seen a penis in 2 years (true story). She attended Tom Savini’s Special FX school of Makeup, also in Pittsburgh. She’s also way high strung and I predict there will be the throwing or intentional exploding of something messy in the future from her.

Conor is the 40 year old that either likes them young, or is a gigantic tease – maybe both. He apprenticed for the makeup artist for Dick Tracy, although I’m not sure they had scary monsters. Other than Madonna, naturally. He also works on the Vampire Diaries and is an instructor at the Joe Blasco Makeup School. These schools get way creative with their names, don’t they?
Marcel, the 24 year old anti-Top Chef Marcel, already has a shaved head and has yet to use foam in anything. He’s a vet assistant by trade which… wait, what? He seems like a decent guy and actually has skill though, so is he the dark horse of Face Off? Am I even using that term correctly? It’s my first time.

Sam hails from Decatur, GA, where she practices and teaches “permaculture”, creates make up effects – for who or why, I’m not sure, and illustrates the chalk board at her local Trader Joes. I wonder if she’s frenemies with the chalkboard illustrator at Starbucks. She also does corporate art and custom prosthetics and has a hippie mom. Good for her.

Jo is Mila from PR’s hapless doppelganger. She not only fucked up in the first episode, but she painted her model in the nude body painting challenge with latex paint, which the audience learned both has a tendency to peel off of human skin, as well as feeling rather itchy and horrible. The judges liked it anyway though, so she was safe. More recently, she showed blatant jealousy of Megan and Conor’s “relationship” and wore a sour face pretty much the entire series so far.

Finally, there’s Tate, whose mom was an artist and his dad a boxer, which means he’s probably financially supporting them by now. He’s done a few cool things, most notably prop fabrication for Jim Henson studios, which is pretty high on the awesome meter, but he’s not standing out yet to me – the person who has no experience in this stuff beyond going to see movies with makeup effects.

Our host, one McKenzie Westmore has an illustrious career, seemingly due to her family being the Barrymores of the special effects world. Her dad created a whole shit-ton (Yes, that’s a unit of measure, per me) of awesome aliens for Star Trek and her great-grandfather was some other movie guy who was apparently successful enough to get the ball moving on getting the entire family on the Hollywood walk of fame. Also, her dad dresses exactly like my dad, therefore is adorable and by rights should be a republican from western Pennsylvania. Ms. Westmore also has a bit of an acting career, most of which seems forgettable, but apparently she was on NBC’s soap opera, Passions, so there’s that.

Finally, our shrewd judges include Ms. Ve Neill, the brains behind the looks in Pirates of the Caribbean and Edward Scissorhands. That might be a bit of hyperbole, but I like to think of her that way. She also won three Academy Awards, which I hear is kind of a big deal. Also, Glenn Hetrick of Heroes, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the FREAKING X-FILES people, and Patrick Tatopoulos, who had a hand in Underworld, Independence Day, and Resident Evil: Extinction.

For tonight’s challenge, Friday the 13th director, Sean Cunningham stops by to see how the contestants do with creating their very own horror movie villains. Something tells me no one is going to make cute little satanic woodland creatures this week. What do you think the over-under is on a murderous clown being created? How about a SEXY murderous clown?

Ok kids, this is our first time and we want to be able to come back, so dispose of your cigarette butts, roaches, and beer bottles properly, leave the place cleaner than we found it, and be sure to write a nice thank-you note to the owners of the joint before you leave. The show starts at 10 Eastern Time on Syfy, so be there or be… well, just be there really. Enjoy the show!

*So the show starts off with the contestants discussing Frank.  Apparently, he’s one of those hate him or love him types.  Being that he slept during two challenges and openly slacked off, I’m not seeing the appeal, but maybe people like that kind of thing?

*Bates motel!  I think I’m seeing the problem with this show.  These contestants need to start wearing khakis and polo shirts.  This whole multiple piercings/tattoos thing clearly doesn’t work.  Except for with the judges, so… never mind.

*Is “Go big or go home” the new, “I’m not here to make friends”?

*Jo does not like Megan.  She really really super extra does not like Megan.  Ask her about it, I’m sure she’ll tell you.  She’s making a disfigured nun, by the way.

*Now Jo’s having her patented insecure time and fishing for compliments.  I’m a horrible person because I would have told her it was terrible just to shake her up.  As a wise man said, sometimes when you go fishing, you catch a boot.

*Now the contestants are pitching their ideas to the PR girl.  They have to come up with a movie name, tagline, and of course, the villain.  Some are good, some are not.  For example, one movie is to be named “HIM”.  You know, in reference to the guy the movie is about.  Alrighty then.

*Conor’s tagline; “Death is just the beginning”.  That’s been used before, hasn’t it?  In other news, Megan’s super annoying.  I’m starting to see Jo’s side.

*So Tom doesn’t know how to make a teddy bear.  Really Tom?  What have you been doing with your life?

*Marcel made a boo-boo.  He almost didn’t get get his silicone out of the mold, which I gather isn’t a good thing because a.) you kind of need it for your villain, and b.) I hear it takes a long time to set .

*So Nicholas Cage is the official go-to guy for shitty action movies now, right?

*Gage made the same boo-boo Marcel did, only his mold isn’t opening.  Megan comes over to “help” and rips the mask.  Gage is understandably not happy.

*Anthony states he’s re-creating things that have already been done.  As I said before – Aim high, Anthony.

*Ah, Tate’s “Him” is a chick.

*Jo’s proud of her nun, but I’m not sure I should be that impressed.  It’s basically a burned woman with buck teeth.

*Anthony threw his away – it blows.  He said it himself.

*Conor’s is just fucked up.  There’s no other way of putting it.

*Sam’s “Baby Doll” is terrifying.  Absolutely terrifying.  They need to make a movie about it.

*Megan has a creepy photographer guy who looks like Marilyn Manson.  Yawn.

*Marcel’s was pretty ok.  So was Gage’s.  He made some deformed fisherman, which looks like, well, a deformed fisherman.

*Tom’s is some sort of murderous teddy bear humanoid holding a human head.  I can’t wait to see how this turns out for him.

*Conor, Sam, and Jo are safe.  Being that Sam’s doll is going to give me nightmares, I thinks she should have won this challenge.

*Gage gets really good praise.  I guess they didn’t hear about the prosthetic that almost wasn’t.

*Oh, Anthony – “I’m more into mental horrors than a brute standing in a doorway hacking people up”.  The looks he got were priceless.  I’d feel bad for him, but I don’t.

*Megan and her floppy hat are being criticized because her scary photographer guy’s mouth can’t move, so basically, he’s useless.

*Tate got good reviews, and when you look at the creation, he really worked his ass off.  Good job, Tate.

*Marcel just made a reference to the limited amount of time he had to complete the costume.  He did NOT just say that after Tate was up there.

*Ok, Tom’s teddy bear axe murderer is pretty damn scary.  Disturbing, even.  He pulled off a win for this one.  Good job, Captain Ego!  Speaking of Captain Ego, he pontificates that Megan should go home (because the judges asked him).  I have a feeling she’s going down.

*You guys, I can’t imagine how Liam Neeson was able to make a movie about losing his wife after actually losing his wife.  My cold, blackened soul feels sad for him.

*Elimination time!  Poor Marcel and his shitty paint job and concept is out.  I’m never right about these things!  This is why I don’t gamble.

Next week on Face Off – a gender challenge of some sort.  May be interesting, it might be not – the only way to find out is to watch!  Or DVR – that works too.  Goodnight!

Out with the old, and… In with the old!

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Yes folks, some of us have decided to bring back one of the most consistently entertaining aspects of The Place Which Shall not Be Named – Live Blogs!

Our first victim?  Syfy’s own Face-Off.

It airs Tuesdays at 10 PM. If you’re not familiar, Face-Off is a reality competition show for special-effects make-up artists. It has the same format as every other cable channel TV show I’ve ever seen, as in there’s a mini-challenge at the beginning of the episode, then the contestants have a themed challenge that they have x-number of hours to complete, rinse, repeat.

The thing is, the challenges are pretty damn cool and the judges actually have a clue.  We get to hear the words of wisdom from industry pros such as Ve Neill, of Pirates of the Carribbean and Edward Scissorhands fame, and winner of three of those Academy Award thingies, which is cool, I guess.  Also, Glenn Hetrick of Heroes, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the FREAKING X-FILES people, and Patrick Tatopoulos, who had a hand  in Underworld, Independence Day, and Resident Evil: Extinction.

Those Independence Day aliens were wicked cool, y’all. Especially the one that got punched in the face by Will Smith. Ok, so the face punching was the cool part, but still.

Tonight’s challenge apparently involves “Friday the 13th” director Sean Cunningham and the creation of horror movie villains. Sounds interesting. And gory. Mmmmm…. gore….

So, Syfy (Still hate that name) at 10 PM. Hope to see you there!