The NBA is FAN-tastic

Note:  This column is for people who like basketball or at the very least are interested in some kind of sport. If you hate intense discussion about sweaty dudes putting balls through a net then go away, I hate you, and wish all the bad things in life happen to you. Also, click on the photos for video fun.

Basketball, more specifically the NBA is my favorite sport to follow. Considering I am barely 5’10” and have a hitch in my shot that would embarrass Bill Cartwright, it always amazes me the incredible feats of athleticism basketball players are capable of producing on a routine basis. In this humble peasant’s opinion, they consistently pull off the most amazing highlights. Even the most hipster-y sports hater dreams of being able to dunk a basketball. Maybe the sport has never appealed to you; maybe you think college ball is better and more “pure.” I say to you, it’s never been a better time to follow the NBA. Thanks to a couple of stacked draft classes in the past few years and the seemingly never-ending careers of other stars the league has never been full of so much talent. Seeing as how the league’s All-Star weekend is coming up in a few days, I thought it’d be a good idea to break down some of the more interesting storylines of this season.

I am Blake Griffin, Destroyer of Worlds: Drafted by the Clippers in 2009, he promptly shattered his left kneecap and had to sit out a full season, an appropriate start for the heralded savior of one of the unluckiest sports franchises out there. However, this season Blake has shown why he was worthy of that #1 pick and done something no one thought possible, he’s made the LA Clippers worth watching. I could write a post solely about Griffin, but it’s safe to say you have to see him to believe it. He plays with an absolute disregard for his own personal safety and treats the rim as if it killed his whole family. The rim-rocking dunks, the never-ending alley-oops, he’s 21 years old and already putting the fear of god into opponents. His entry into the Slam Dunk Competition promises to be legendary.

Derrick Rose and the Rebirth of Chicago: It’s safe to say that I love Derrick Rose more than my family and wish to have his babies (if it were biologically possible). The humble, mumbly 22 year old from one of the roughest neighborhoods in the city has skyrocketed into the national scene. In a city dominated by crappy baseball and football he has gotten people to care about basketball again. After two solid but unspectacular seasons Derrick has taken the famous “leap” that most basketball players do in their third year. As a hometown kid there was always pressure to succeed but it’s never fazed Rose. He’s simply gotten better in every aspect of the game and done it with an “aw shucks” mentality that is hard to hate. Even at such a young age he has wowed his peers. Other superstars go on Twitter and say Rose is their favorite player to watch. He simply does things a 6’3” guard should not be capable of doing. The perfect combination of size, speed, strength, and big rippling muscles….sorry what are we talking about again?

The Oklahoma City Thunder: Making it Hard to Remember Seattle. Thanks to the NBA assisted swindling of the Seattle Supersonics, jackass grease-ball owner Clay Bennett was allowed to move a franchise with nearly 50 years of history in the Pacific Northwest to the basketball haven of…Oklahoma City? To the surprise of everyone, the OKC residents took the Thunder in and treated them like a newborn baby. They provided endless support to the point that home games remind one of a college atmosphere. With a likable core of youngsters led by Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook, the Thunder have made a quick turnaround from cellar-dweller into perennial playoff contender. The smooth shot of Durant combined with the jaw-dropping athleticism of Westbrook make the Thunder a must-see attraction.

The Miami Heat and the Player Hater’s Ball: By this time everyone knows about the ugly publicity stunt LeBron pulled back in July of 2010. That he left Cleveland for South Beach wasn’t a big deal, it was the absolute shamelessness of forcing a loyal fanbase to watch ESPN for an hour just so they could have their heart stomped on. Joining forces with the “RuPaul of big men” Chris Bosh and very handsome but still giant dickbag Dwayne Wade the Heat were expected to blow the league out of the water.  Though they’ve been downright impressive there’s a sense that no one really fears the Heat. Derrick Rose notably did not bother to recruit James or Wade last summer. The Boston Celtics have smacked Miami around like rag dolls in their three meetings. How will their Eastern Conference teammates treat them during what is typically a lighthearted exhibition game?

Now obviously I’ve only scratched the surface of what has honestly been the most fun 50+ games of basketball since the mid-90s (believe me, I have watched a lot of shitty games). But it does highlight a growing talent pool, which only creates more competitive teams and entertaining matchups. The league has suffered through an image crisis for years due to its close association with hip-hop culture but it’s safe to say the future has never looked brighter for a post-MJ world.