Daily Archives: April 3, 2011

7 posts

Sunday Writer’s Workshop and Sexy Dance Free For All

1 comment

Good evening Honey Badgers and thanks for dropping by. Please start by reading this. Yes, I know most of you have read it, but just take one more look to humor me. The purpose of tonight’s workshop is for us to brainstorm and share ideas for post topics. Please post any ideas you’ve had or things you would like feedback on. To make this work it is essential that we give one and other feedback so please reply to each other. Here are a few suggestions to get people started:

  • Tech and Internet Culture (besides Gawker)
  • Music Reviews
  • Book Reviews or a Book Club
  • City Guides and Vacation Reviews

If you are new to WordPress or are having difficulty with it I highly encourage you to watch this video to help you get situated.

Oh, and here’s a few more tips:

  • When you’re done set the post status to Pending Review so we now it is ready to go.
  • Edit, edit, edit. Please check over your posts for grammar, spelling, and formatting before you put it in the pending queue. This will really help us out a lot and it will make me think you are a wonderful human being if you do it.
  • Your post needs to have an “image thumbnail” that is hosted on Crasstalk. Save the picture to your hard drive and then load it into the Crasstalk media library (it’s in the left side menu). Copy the url after it is uploaded and paste that into the thumbnail space back on your post page. People who insert their thumbnails properly are incredibly sexy. I am just putting that out there.
  • Don’t use HTML tags in the “Visual” editor. It shows up as text and makes us look like a Sarah Palin fan fiction site. Is that really what you want for Crasstalk?
  • When you embed a video you must be in the HTML mode of the editor and you must use the code under the embed button on You Tube. Pasting the url will not work.
  • Preview your post to see how it looks. Make changes and preview again. Then do it again. Make sure it looks pretty.
  • Spell check. Firefox has a built in spell checker.There is no excuse for you to leave this to us. None.
  • Make sure that you spread the word about your posts. When they are published send an email to BooBooKitteh at [email protected] and she will put you out on Twitter.

I want to say a big thank you to all of you who write for Crasstalk. We know that you all have busy lives and we appreciate the time and effort you put in to make Crasstalk fun.

We will win the Internet!

You may now begin the sexy dancing.

The Ultimate Dinner Party

“In the well-planned dinner for ten, there should be (taking out the host and hostess): two sparklies from different fields, four solid listeners and contributors from assorted professions, one charity case and one mystery guest whose classification will not be clear until after being auditioned at this dinner.” Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior by Judith Martin

As usual, Miss Manners’ prescription is firmly delivered, but is it definitive?? Many experts on entertaining suggest that six rather than eight guests is the ideal number for a perfect dinner party. Some assert that the number of men and women should be balanced (and seated boy-girl-boy-girl); a subset of this group even continues to assume that all the guests are actually couples.

Others have a more free-form approach, encompassing, say, singleton invitees (of whom, clearly, there must be two unless you include a ménage a trois among your guests as well) or gay couples (who make the boy-girl alternation infinitely more complicated to carry off). In short, who knows? Well, for purposes of this post, you do. Six guests or eight guests, it’s up to you.

A “mystery guest”? Your choice. Do you dare make every guest an A-list “sparkly” who is used to being the center of attention? Can you pick a group whose conversation will sizzle and pop without turning your dining room into an inferno of disagreement and angry discord?

This little game is your chance to show off your party-planning skillz and indulge your own Inner Miss Manners. Your task is to pick a guest list of six (or eight, but no more) whom you believe would make for an unforgettable dinner party. You may select anyone, real or fictional, from any period in history. Mixing the real and the imaginary is allowed, although true purists will pick one or the other.

If you’re a stickler for the proprieties you can further increase the degree of difficulty by balancing the female/male ratio, specifying a seating chart, or applying Miss Manners’ rules to the letter. More to the point is your brief explanation of: why this person? As a foil for another guest, or a gadfly whose inclusion will liven things up, or just because you personally would like to ask him or her a particular question (and if so, what is that question)? Is your goal to solve the problems of the world by putting Socrates and Thomas Jefferson on either side of Jane Austen, or would you rather foment World War 3 by setting a place for Michael Moore between Jan Brewer and Sarah Palin?? The possibilities are endless.

I’ll begin (though, full disclosure, this is not my Be-All-End-All guest list but simply an example.

1. Alexander the Great – Did Aristotle grade on a curve?

2. Pamela Churchill Hayward Harriman – “Greatest courtesan of the century” (W. Paley).

3. Giacomo Casanova – Will he prefer to romance Pam or Betty?

4. Betty Boop – A toss-up between her and Daria Morgendorffer.

5. Marquis de Sade – Will he prefer to torture Betty or Mary.

6. The Virgin Mary — Well, was she?? And what does she make of the Marquis?

7. Daffy Duck – Exactly when will he blow his top?

8. Emily Dickinson – What will she say at dinner? What will she write afterward?

Over to you, Crassies.

Baking while Vegan

Everyone appreciates a sweet and delicious treat. Everyone with functioning taste buds, anyway. One of the more common questions I get about being vegan is how I make things without eggs or cows’ milk. In fact, it’s actually very easy. Whether you want to impress your vegan friend or your non-vegan ones, here I’ll discuss the common baking substitutes and post a delicious cupcake recipe!

Milk
You can put almost any other kind of milk in place of cow’s milk. Soy, almond, rice, and hemp milk are all options. I would consider soy milk to be kind of “neutral” in taste when baking. Rice milk is somewhat thinner than the other kinds. I love using almond milk in baking, but if I think there might be someone with a nut allergy I’ll stick to the other kinds.

Butter/Margarine
Earth Balance is the best vegan margarine for your fake buttery needs. It’s non-hydrogenated, too, so it’s kind of better for you! It’s not always easy to find, so another option is Fleischmann’s unsalted margarine. For some reason their unsalted margarine is vegan, but the regular stuff is not.

Eggs
Eggs are kind of tougher than replacing cow’s milk or margarine. In general, your go-to egg substitute is Ener-G Egg Replacer, which can be found in Whole Foods and other health food stores. It’s largely made from potato and tapioca starch, and can be used in pretty much any recipe you have. One egg equals 1.5 teaspoons of Ener-G plus 2 tablespoons of water.

Ground flax seeds are very useful in baking, and you can pretend your cookies are healthy too! The best way to go with these is to buy whole flax seeds and grind them as needed. If you buy ground flax seeds, make sure to put the bag/jar in the freezer when you’re not using them to preserve the nutrients. One egg equals 1 tablespoon of ground flax seeds plus 3 tablespoons of water. This website has more info on using flax seeds as an egg substitute.

Silken tofu can be used as well, at a conversion rate of ¼ cup of whipped silken tofu for one egg. Silken tofu is good for puddings and pies, as well as cakes and whatnot you want to be a little thicker and more moist.

Other foods can be used to replace eggs, but the following ones will change the taste of whatever you’re making. Bananas are great to use (especially in recipes that involve chocolate!), as they are good binding agents. Applesauce can also be used in place of eggs, though I would say that this option generally does not help keep everything together as well as the other substitutes. Maple syrup can also be used to an extent, and is my favorite egg replacement when making pancakes.

Finally, as promised, one of my favorite cupcake recipes.

Chocolate Banana Cupcakes, from the Post Punk Kitchen
Ingredients:

  • ¾ cup sugar
  • 5 Tablespoons butter, softened
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • 1 banana, mushed well
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • ¼ cup unsweetened cocoa
  • ½ teaspoon baking soda
  • ¼ teaspoon salt
  • ½ cup milk

1. Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
2. Combine the first three ingredients in a large bowl, mixing well.
3. Add banana, stirring well to combing. You might have to use your fingers to smush some of the larger chunks of banana.
4. Combine the flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt; stirring well with a whisk.
5. Add the flour mixture to the sugar mixture alternately with ½ cup milk, beginning and ending with the flour mixture; mix after each addition.
6. Spoon the batter into 12 muffin cups.
7. Bake for 20 minutes or until the cupcakes spring back easily when touched lightly in the center.
8. Allow to cool, and frost if desired (I highly recommend a peanut butter frosting).
Enjoy!

Easter Creative Manicure Dots

Today’s tutorial is to teach you how to do some super basic, super adorable nail art. You can do this with a dotting tool that you can buy at any beauty supply or craft store, or with any random bobby pin, toothpick, or paper clip that you can find on the floor of your filthy apartment. (Sorry! Projecting!)

Since Easter is coming up, I wanted to showcase some pastels but you can duplicate this with any colors you’d like.

Keep in mind that with dots, the best colors to use are colors that are opaque in one coat, so that they show up right away.

I used:

  • Base Coat: Orly Bonder
  • Base Color: Sinful Colors Unicorn
  • Dots: American Apparel Coney Island
  • Top Coat: Seche Vite
  • Top Coat: Essie Matte About You
  • Additional:
  • Index card (scrap sheet of paper, paper plate, whatever) to use for your dots
  • Q-tips and cotton balls for clean up as needed
  • Acetone/NP remover for clean up as needed

Step 1:

Make sure you have everything you’re going to use neatly assembled.

Prep and paint your nails with your base coat and base color. I chose Sinful Colors’ Unicorn. This is a pastel yellow. The interesting thing about yellow pigments is they are incredibly difficult to work with. They are little bitches. This was streaky and patchy and took several coats for me to be okay with it. I still am not happy with the base. So you might want to pick a less finicky base color if you want this to be easier.

Sinful Unicorn

Step 2:

Put a little tiny dab of your dot color onto your index card/whatever you’re using as a palette.

Dot the index card with a bit of polish.

The thing about this is it can be a bit wasteful of colors so you may not want to use your bottle of RBL Stormy (insert any additional extremely expensive polish you may own here) for making dots. Any of the cremes from drugstore brand Wet N Wild’s Wild Shine line are very opaque. I went with American Apparel’s Coney Island.

After you’ve put a little bit out, dip the dotting end of your dotting tool, be it an actual dotting tool or a bobby pin, into the polish and then quickly dot it to your nail. BE GENTLE. Don’t stab it on. The bigger the end of the dotting tool you use, the bigger the dot.

The more product you use, the bigger the dot.
Dot!

Step 3:

Continue! Dot as much as you want! It’s so easy!

Step 4:

Let it dry before putting any top coat on it. It’d be the worst if you smeared all of your dots.

Because I was going for a very specific Easter egg look, I chose Essie Matte About You (which is now available at drugstores) to give it that not shiny, eggshell look.

Essie Matte About You Polka Dot

If you try this look, please, post a picture!

For previous nail art tutorials and info visit here, here and here.

 

Meet Fabrice Fabrice, the World’s Greatest Craft Services Coordinator

Meet Fabrice Fabrice (the name’s so nice, you can say it… AGAIN). Fabrice Fabrice is the creation of Nick Kroll, a comedian who’s currently on the show “The League.” (Ask your boyfriend about it. He probably knows it well….)

So Kroll, who looks like a typical, married Accord-driving suburban dork from the accounting department, has created one of the most outrageous alter-egos I’ve ever seen. Here he is on John Oliver’s recent Comedy Central special:

Jokes.com
Fabrice Fabrice – Renee Zellweger
comedians.comedycentral.com
Jokes Joke of the Day Funny Jokes

Fabrice Fabrice isn’t actually a performer. He’s the craft services coordinator. Here he is explaining his work on the set of “That’s So Ravyn.” (I also love the way Fabrice Fabrice holds the microphone.)

Jokes.com
Fabrice Fabrice – Craft Services
comedians.comedycentral.com
Jokes Joke of the Day Funny Jokes

Fabrice has strong opinions about Joe Jackson and likes him some John Oliver.

Jokes.com
Fabrice Fabrice – Joe Jackson
comedians.comedycentral.com
Jokes Joke of the Day Funny Jokes

Recipe Sunday: The Classic Bloody Mary

Nothing says Sunday like a Bloody Mary. It’s an important part of many brunches and (depending on your Saturday night and the heartiness of your Bloody Mary) can take on the role of a full meal if you’re not careful. There are also few things less classic then a Bloody Mary in a gigantic A&W mug. But I think that the parfait spoon to dig out the olives helps elevate this to near “classic” status.

So, welcome, hung-over Crasstalkers, to a classic Bloody Mary that could substitute for any meal.

Bloody Mary

  • Large glass mug
  • Three ice cubes
  • Many turns of the peppermill (between 10 and 20 depending, on your constitution and preference)
  • Dash celery salt (or fresh diced celery leaves)
  • Several healthy dashes of Tabasco
  • 1/8+ inch Worcester sauce
  • 1/2 fork-full of  horseradish
  • Splash lemon juice
  • 3 olives (these are an important part of your meal, they have a bit of protein, and they’re solid.)
  • Vodka to cover your ice (and a hair more just because, hey, this is a meal)
  • Tomato juice/spicy V-8 to top off the glass

Add a celery stalk, if you want to feel fancy and have a tool to continually stir your ingredients so you don’t just get a mouthful of sludge at the bottom. (Or in case you are so hung over that you need to check your reflexes by stirring your drink, and patting yourself on the head simultaneously.)

Clearly, these are just rough guidelines. The idea is, don’t be afraid of your Sunday morning and if this doesn’t put hair on your Misters or your “Little Suzy”, then you’re not doing it right. But remember, practice makes perfect.

Especially on a Sunday.