Did you ever think it would come down to Joe Biden? For a second time, the Vice Presidential debates featuring Joe Biden is sure to be one of the most watched Vice Presidential debates in history. And this time instead of a silly governor from Alaska, Biden is up against a workout enthusiast, marathon-lying, interview question-evading wonk from the Beltway. That’s okay. We’re ready. Here are a few things we want Joe to be aware of though.
Don’t Be Cranky
What the electorate seemed to respond to last week were drive, hunger, and vigor. What they will not want to see from Joe Biden is an inability to be flexible, or to hear the same old talking points, or to have Biden seem annoyed or dismayed to be there. You can bet Ryan will come out looking sparkly and fresh like a gleaming, poisoned red apple. While Biden doesn’t have to appear quite the neophyte, because he isn’t, he does want to showcase a repertoire of good ideas which are easy to digest and embrace. Let’s not forget that Ryan is a numbers wonk, and he may rely on those minutiae in a tough spot.
Don’t Be Smug
Yes, we know. Paul Ryan is a smarmy jackass. However, this doesn’t mean that appearing smug will out Ryan for all his faults. By being alert but unflappable, Joe will tell the electorate that he is the mature candidate, the leader, the wizened old tree knob that they’ll respect. By attempting to show up Ryan in obvious ways could make Joe look a bit petty and that’s not what we want.
Don’t Try to Be Bill Clinton
We’re sorry Joe, but no one can break down numbers and statistics the way Bubba can. He just has a way of dissecting and regurgitating complicated information in a way that is easy to understand. Don’t try to emulate this. We’re not saying that we have little faith, we just think it’s better left up to the master. We need Joe to be concise and sharp, not overly longwinded and mired down in extracting small points or explaining big ones for an extended period. His delivery must be crisp, clean, and gaffe free.
Do Ask Ryan Pointed Questions
As we’ve seen from Paul Ryan, when tested or criticized he has a tendency to get exasperated and annoyed, and perhaps he’ll even lash out. He doesn’t like to look like the less than smartest guy in the room. Joe should use that. He should ask questions and follow-ups of Ryan directly. Make him talk about the Romney/Ryan plans, make him defend them, or explain what they are at the very least. This isn’t an interview where he can turn off the mic, or say it would take too long to explain. And if he can’t, and responds by throwing a fit, well, all the better.
Don’t Regale Us with Stories about People We Can’t Fact Check
Urgh. We’re tired of hearing stories about the “Woman in fill in the blank town and what strife she’s suffered.” No, it’s not that we don’t care about our fellow Americans. We do. But these types of stories don’t add much to a debate. For a stump speech, sure. But for a debate we want hard facts, we want to see our guy make the other guy uncomfortable, and mostly we want to hear about how our guy’s plans will affect us as a whole. Save the kitchen table discussions for the campaign trail.
Do Smile and Showcase Warmth, Relatability, and Charm
One thing the Obama/Biden ticket has going for it is the fact that Americans believe that they relatable, that they share our concerns, and that they generally want to help us. Joe should say this with his body language and the way he conveys his commentary. Speak to the American people. Ryan may get lost in the battle to win and may often find himself losing sight of the larger goal. Joe is able to connect. He has hometown charm, and is often able to appeal to the middle class worker. This is a group that finds Romney/Ryan to be unapproachable, cold, distant, and unconcerned. Remember that the people are the goal.
Don’t Tease or Cajole
Well, this goes without saying. But we have little doubt Paul Ryan will say something that will make most of the viewing public want to smack him. It’s just the kind of guy he is. Don’t feed into it. Joe needs to retain his stature as the senior guy and play these antics down so they look like the flailing arms of a kid being told that it’s his bedtime.
Don’t Call Mitt Romney a Liar
Hoo-boy. Yeah. We know this will be hard. But Joe can’t do it. Well, not outright anyway. Matt Miller over at the Washington Post has a good Op-ed on the subject. We like his approach and hope Joe’s given it a looksee. Here’s an excerpt:
“My friends,” Biden should say, “we can’t be sure at this point what Mitt Romney’s ‘real’ philosophy and values are. He governed Massachusetts as a centrist Republican and did things that I applaud – like enacting a universal health plan with the support of Ted Kennedy. That plan became a model for the president’s national reform.
“But then Governor Romney sold his soul to the right wing of his party to get the nomination – and adopted extreme conservative positions on taxes, immigration, health care, women’s rights and more.
“Did Romney call for well-off Americans to contribute nothing to deficit reduction – or for hard-working high school graduates to be deported, though they were brought here as children – or for millions of poor workers to be stripped of basic health coverage – because he really believes in this pinched vision of America? Or did he do it because he thought that’s what it took to win the nomination?
“I have no idea, my friends. And neither does anyone else. That’s the point. It’s impossible to know Mitt Romney’s real values. But it’s entirely possible to understand the conservative forces Romney has pandered to and empowered in his thirst for office. They’re the same extremists who will be calling the shots if you send him to the White House.”
Don’t Wander Off Into the Uncle Bidey Cornfields
Yikes. No, no, no. No off the cuff jokes, no suggestive winks, no stories that go on forever that end with an off color remark. This is not the Joe Biden we want to see tonight. We don’t need the guy who says “Pull my finger” after the Thanksgiving meal. We need serious, sharp-shooting, Joe Biden. The guy that will use his experience to his benefit, who’ll remain calm and calculating, luring Ryan in for the kill. We don’t need any goofy antics or weird laughter, strange faces, or over-reaching commentary that asks the audience to reciprocate in that whole “Amirite, or Amirite c’mon, guys” way. No. No.
Do Attack with Finesse; Not Bombast
Ryan, while an egotistical maniac, isn’t a huge dummy. He’s surely preparing for a fiery Joe performance. He may be psyched to take on that particular Joe. He may be ready to trade zingers and barbs. Well, we need Joe to take his time, think through every bit of double-speak and contradictory information Ryan is bound to spew out. And that’s when we want Biden to zero in. We don’t want him in there rushing the course and setting himself or Obama up for Ryan to get the last shot. Joe’s been through this enough times, and he knows how and when to deliver a winning line. Remember his 9/11 shot at Rudy Giuliani? Ouch. Yeah. We hope he has a few of those stored up, but those that coincide with some real blows to the fictitious plan Romney/Ryan have devised to save America, or buy America, or throw America in front of a train, or whatever it is they’re planning, will work best to do what we need him to do — and that’s right the democratic ticket’s ship
Okay! Ready? Break! Go Joe!
