You may have noticed that this is the first time I have done SSC posts on back-to-back weeks, which means that there is something really special in store.
We’re starting an Eight Week Challenge! For the low, low… LOW price of eight overshares, you’ll get a lovely group of drill sergeants, cheerleaders, and shoulders-to-cry-on to carry you to your next fitness goal. Tony Horton has nothing on this deal. COMMIT NOW or forever hold your peace.
So maybe you have a new morning workout routine. Great! Except it’s hard as fuck to get motivated to exert energy first thing in the morning. That’s where your workout music comes in.
I make no bones about loving club music. I know most people consider it vapid and cheesy. And, well, it is. Most of it is made by the absolute worst sorts of trashy perverts.
None of that matters. All that matters is that it makes you want to (in the immortal words of Big Daddy Drew) run through a brick wall.
So on that tip, here’s some music for your next workout. For each track below, I’ll list the artist (or “artist”), title of the song and the superpower that each particular song will give you.
“Get Down” by Groove Armada
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Proclaim yourself King/Queen of All Bunnies.
“Superdelight” by Heikki L
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Punch a giraffe in the nose.
“Bodymotion” by Way Out West
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Slide across a frozen lake with rockets tied to your shoes.
“Return to Life” by Adam Rickfors
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Die and then come back to Earth as Patrick Swayze so that you can make pottery with that funny-nose girl.
“Unleash My Love” by John de Sohn and Nick Wall ft Christina Skaar
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Use electric eels as weapons.
“Dancing On My Own” (Fred Falke Remix) by Robyn
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Burn people with your laser vision.
“Feel the Hard Rock” (Heiko and Maiko electro mix) by Hardrox
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Use actual ROFLcopters to kill leprechauns.
“Alive” by Mondotek
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Drink 18 cans of 4LOKO without making a fool of yourself.
“Push Up” by Freestylers
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Do those pushups that only insane Marine drill sergeants can do, where you clap in between each pushup.
“My, My, My” by Armand Van Helden
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Throw sharks at the bad people.
“What I Want” by Bob Sinclar Ft. Fireball
This song is makes you feel like you can now: Win a staring contest against Clint Eastwood.