Apocalypse Nah? Continue reading
apocalypse
6 posts
You know it will one day happen. That big earthquake. The mega storm. Kodos getting elected. There is no electricity or water, and you need to live semi-comfortably for three to five days. Here is a list of things you should gather. Continue reading
Good morning gang and especially you Crasstalkers on the East Coast. By the time you are reading this there is probably only a few of hours left before you start to feel the effects of the hurricane. Not ready yet? Go, now. Here’s a couple of things to get you started and a list of emergency contacts and numbers you may need. I have included mostly state government links, but please feel free to add info from your own area in the comments. I tried to include Twitter links for each area so you can get emergency information on your phone if you lose power of internete access. Stay safe and be sensible out there.
Here is a handy list of supplies you might need for the storm. You probably have many of them around your house already, just get them together in one place where you can find them even if it is dark. Additionally, if you live in an evacuation zone you need to have a bag ready in case you need to get on the move quickly. Also, make sure you make a plan to keep in touch with your friends and family during the storm. Below are a few resources by city in case you need them.
The often violent, often surreal, sometimes incestuous world of the Bible contains a lot of horrible and annoying people. Here are my top five: Continue reading
Hello fellow Crasstalkers, it’s that time again!
“What time is that?” you ask. Well, I’ll tell you my friends. Once again the Apocalypse is upon us. In honor of this special day, let’s explore all the previous apocalypses (apocali?) of times gone by.
Back in the 1800s, amateur Bible student William Miller began to study the prophecies of Daniel and using the “year-day” method of prophetic interpretation. Wait, “year-day” method? *frantically searches Wikipedia* ahh, so the word day in apocalyptic prophecy is symbolic for an actual year of time. Just so we’re all clear on how this works out for Mr. Miller here, let’s review: Continue reading
2012 has become the Unified Field Theory of apocalyptic scenarios. Every other theory, from tales of Planet X colliding with Earth to the Rapture, have coalesced under the umbrella of the 2012 myth. This unification of apocalypse scenarios seemed to happen within the past few years, with rumors spreading that the Mayans predicted the end of the world on December 21, 2012. That date caught on in the public’s imagination, most likely because of how close and specific it is. Every theory comes back to the Mayans.
And it’s all bullshit. For the moment, let’s put aside the assumption that the Mayans must have known things about the universe we don’t since they were ancient and therefore wiser than modern society could ever hope to be. Let’s pretend the Mayan religion is the one true religion. 2012 theories would still be bullshit.
First we should cover the origin of this belief. The Mayan calender was incredibly advanced for its day, and envisioned time in cycles not unlike our concepts of weeks and months, with the same patterns endlessly repeating. While our longest unit of time is the year, theirs was the b’ak’tun, a period of 394.3 years. They kept count from when they believe creation began, roughly 3114 B.C. From that point, we are in the 13th b’ak’tun, which is set to end on December 21st (or 23rd depending on the translation) 2012.
That’s actually about it. It’s sort of the Mayan equivalent of a new millennium. Not really significant in and of itself, but fairly novel in that few people ever live to see the calender flip over to so many zeroes. But don’t take my word for it, ask an actual Mayan elder from Guatemala who educates people on his heritage.
Now, aside from the testimony of real Mayans alive today, how did anyone ever come to the conclusion that the end of this b’ak’tun would be the end of time? It was found on one tablet. Just one. It was badly damaged difficult to read. Nothing on that tablet said anything about the end of time, it was just as far as the calender went.
The cartoonist who drew that probably thought he or she was just being a wiseass. That’s really the main argument all Mayan scholars make against 2012 theories. It was one tablet, and odds are that whoever made it figured that by 2012 someone could afford another stone and continue the calender.
Nowhere in Mayan mythology does an apocalypse even appear. They never believed that time ends, they believed it was cyclical and eternal. By all accounts, the very concept of a “Mayan apocalypse” is a pure modern invention that comes with assuming all religions are like Christianity. It’s as absurd as talking about a Christian rain god.
If you’re still not convinced, you should also know that a Dutch scholar of Mayan history recently pointed out our Mayan translations may be off, and introduced a new codex that would put the end of the 13th b’ak’tun in 2220. So please feel free to enjoy the next 2 years.