Tech

477 posts

The Night Watchman: R

The Georgia Guidestones

In an isolated spot in Elbert County Georgia stands one the most mysterious monuments in American history. The Georgia Guidestones are are an arrangement of large granite slabs that are arranged in a manner that allow them to be used as an astrological calendar and clock. This would make the structures interesting enough, but the uncertainty about who built the monument and the cryptic messages written upon it make the Guidestones the object of much speculation from the conspiracy theory community. Continue reading

In Praise of Trolls

A nod to 92BuickLeSabre who wrote and earlier post on anonymity online.

Everybody hates trolls. They are the boogyman who terrorize children in the dark forest of the internet and who ruin the comments section of daily newspapers. Part of the creation of this blog was the desire to escape the trolls and jackasses who seem to be invading Gawker. However, I would argue that trolling, when done right, can be a force for good in the uglier places on the internet. Let’s face it, there are plenty of people who will say and advocate completely reprehensible things online. Trolling is a way of saying no to terrible ideas on forums and sites where bad people are encouraging awful ideas and it is a way to punish individuals and people who break online etiquette. Here’s a couple of examples. Continue reading

Comcast makes me want to stab a bunny

So about nine days ago my internet service at home started intermittently crapping out. Suddenly I’d lose service and it would stay down for an hour or so and then pop back up.

It kept doing this, so I called Comcast. I got through to tech support easily enough, and they were friendly, but they couldn’t call someone out to my house because there was already a general outage in the neighborhood. That policy actually kind of makes sense, unless someone WITHIN the troubled area has a more specific problem.

This went on for approximately five days.

FINALLY they set up a service call for today (Tuesday) between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. Apparently they expected me to just take the day off from work and wait at home all day because they didn’t bother to call me when the repairman showed up, so I missed the appointment. THANK YOU, COMCAST. IT’S NOT LIKE I HAVE A JOB OR ANYTHING. I AM IN FACT THE HEIR TO THE KIBBLES ‘N BITS DOG TREATS FORTUNE AND NEVER HAVE TO WORK A DAY IN MY LIFE. IT IS QUITE LEISUREFUL. I SPEND EVERY SINGLE TUESDAY WITH ABSOLUTELY NO OBLIGATIONS OTHER THAN PLAYING CONTACT BRIDGE WITH A COLORFUL ASSORTMENT OF FILIPINO CARNIVAL WORKERS.

So now I’m not getting internet service restored until at least tomorrow. I hope you get fisted by a Kim Jong Il puppet, Comcast.

And one last thing, I know you’re trying to rehabilitate your company’s rep for completely shitting all over its customers, but just training them to be friendly is not enough. I don’t care if the lady sounds like a chatty Cracker Barrel waitress from Murfreesboro. I’d prefer a rude asshole who can actually fix my shit.

The Night Watchman

Warning: Author is dweeb academic type who does not normally do “creative writing.” She apologizes in advance for any tedium. Thanks Mr. Meat, this is great.

I don’t sleep. Even when I was a kid I was up at three in the morning staring at the ceiling. During the summer I stayed with my grandparents on an isolated farm in the Western Nebraska scrub. My grandmother didn’t sleep either. We would lay on her bed in the still hours and she would read the comics to me while my grandfather slept in the recliner he passed out in at eight o’clock. Continue reading

Apple Hates Your Freedom

Tomorrow Apple is going to announce some BS about iTunes, probably streaming and probably the Beatles catalog.  No matter what they say just remember that Apple doesn’t care about music they care about money.

Streaming audio services have a history of living for a short time and then leaving their users in the lurch.  Apple is a big company but they can choose to exit the business at any time if it’s not making money.

The moral of the story is to own your music and have it free of digital rights management.  Rip it from a CD you own, buy it from Amazon MP3 store or even from Apple’s DRM-free tracks on iTunes.  The catch being that the Beatles probably won’t be available DRM-free.  I’m not saying to do anything illegal, just don’t get caught in the DRM trap.  Buy music, pay artists, but be free to listen to your music how you want, on the device you want at the time you want.

In Defense of Anonymity*

*Not of “Anonymous”

Anonymity is getting a bad reputation on the internet.  Synonymous with trolling and cybervandalism, the obvious negatives have come to define the concept.  But allowing that to happen ignores the internet’s initial promise.  When combined with actual rational discourse (a stretch, I know), anonymity actually does allow us to engage in a public version of private discourse in ways that were never possible before.

Remember when we all lived in villages?  Anonymity was impossible.

It wasn’t even a word until the early 17th century.

Sure, those villages were able to raise children.  But everything about those kids’  futures were planned out for them before they were born.  Just ask John Butcher, William Baker, and Robert Candlestickmakerson.  Want to stretch your wings or think your own thoughts?  Try migration or exile.  Oh, but watch out for slavery and xenophobia while you are out on the road!  Want to branch out here at home?  I’ve picked out a nice jail cell for you.

The modern world? It finally promised us anonymity.  Sure, Debbie Downer Durkheim liked to point out the negatives, but it also allowed us to create new personas, be new people.  If we didn’t like country values, then we could try on city values.  Durkheim meet Draper.

The anonymity of the city did require us to regulate these new public personas – thank god – but it gave us some freedom for the private persona.  Sure, I have to pretend to respect you from M-F, 9-5, but when I get home I have my own little village.  Where my old provincial or new radical thoughts can run free.

Free but necessarily private, and therefore still a domain of tied up and unchallenged thoughts and ideals.

Now, here we are with the internet.  Finally, a world where one can maintain an acceptably professional public persona (that we are relatively able to choose), but where we can also open some of our private self.  Because we are able to do it through an anonymous persona.  A universe of the nom de plume!

And this is great!  Because we do all have our own progressive and regressive thoughts and concerns about controversial matters.  Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll, politics, race, gender and religion.  Thoughts that we want to have challenged, but are afraid to talk about. (Yes, even you.)

For, arguably the first time, we have a way to express them and open them up for discourse, to have them challenged.  To freely develop our private personas.  Even to exaggerate them and try on new ideas that we might not have even been willing to try before.

So what do we do with this freedom?  (Aside from abuse it through irrational trolling.) First step, voluntarily eliminate it!  We tag our online discourse to our facebook profiles.  Which takes us right back to where we were.  Either living in the modern world, of regulated professional conduct and hidden unchallenged private personas.  Or the pre-modern world, where our entire life becomes one big village, merging our personal and private personas in one big oversharey mess.

Well, that, my friends, gets us nowhere.

So here is to defending anonymity.  Use it as a chance to engage in a public discourse without fear of public repercussion.  Say what you really think and see if it holds up to public scrutiny.

Because the world might learn something from your radical new plan for combining the legalization of marijuana and prostitution, but that doesn’t mean you should have to ruin your career as a Catholic pre-school teacher just to find out.