Biz Monkie

293 posts
Boisterous laugh, great smile, serial killer eyes. "the Confucius of Central Indiana" - Botswana Meat Commission - Follow me on twitter: @monkeybiziu

Video Game Review and Commentary: RAGE, and Why PC Gaming Is Important

The first game in history whose title reflects the feelings of it's players. I also would have accepted "Gigantic Disappointment" or "Hey John Carmack, if you and id are going to fuck PC Gamers, at least take us out to dinner first. We like to be wined and dined before we get fucked."

The first “video game” I can remember playing is Midnight Rescue! by The Learning Company. I was 5 years old, and we had just gotten our first computer. The year was 1989.

The first real video game I remember playing was Doom 2, released by id Software in 1994. The second was Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness, released by Blizzard Entertainment in 1995.

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How To Build a Manly Home Theater, on a Manly Budget

There are few things more manly than building a home theater. After all, what’s the point of owning extremely manly movies without being able to watch them on an extremely manly TV, paired with an extremely manly audio setup?

Unfortunately, manly jobs like cops, firefighters, and lumberjacks don’t pay terribly well. So, we’re going to talk about how to build a manly home theater on a manly budget for the manly recession.  Continue reading

On the Congressional GOP Leader’s Letter to Ben Bernanke

As some of you may have heard, the Congressional GOP leadership, including Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, Speaker of the House John Boehner, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, and Senator Jon Kyl (a member of the so-called deficit supercommittee) sent a letter to Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke on Monday, ahead of the two day meeting of the Board Members of the Federal Reserve which began yesterday.

For those of you wishing to read the entire letter (and I suggest you do), here is the text. Continue reading

Early Review of Real Steel

When I was in college, I had the privilege of spending a few weeks training to be a boxer. The guy I trained with was an amateur, but trained with pros in Chicago. He taught me how to move, how to defend, and how to punch. I’m not saying I could go toe to toe with anyone, but I had a ton of fun doing it. Consequently, I have a soft spot for boxing movies.

When I saw the previews for Real Steel a few months ago, I laughed. It screamed “poorly made kids movie designed to push toys”. Let me be the first to say I was wrong. I was very wrong, Real Steel is awesome.

The Ballad of the Cat Man

You’ve seen me before. Maybe it’s in Petco, checking out a cat climbing tower or deciding between bags of catnip like they’re fine steaks. Maybe it’s in Target or Wal-Mart, with a 20 pound bag of catfood on one shoulder and a big bucket of kitty litter in the other. Maybe it’s in the office, where every article of clothing I own seems to have cat hair on it. You probably think to yourself, “Wow, he’s such a dedicated boyfriend/husband to be taking care of his girlfriend’s/wife’s cat like that.”

Well, you’d be wrong. I don’t have a girlfriend or a wife. The little furball I buy cat stuff for is all mine.

I am a Cat Man. Continue reading

Deus Ex: Human Revolution Game Review

If you were given the choice to replace a limb or an organ with a prosthetic that functioned exactly the same way, perhaps even better, would you? Would you give up your arms to get replacements that could lift incredibly heavy items and punch through concrete? Would you give up your legs to run faster and jump higher? Would you give up your eyes to see through walls and in the dark?

This is the fundamental question that the Deus Ex series, including the latest installment Deus Ex: Human Revolution, asks the player. What happens when humanity is suddenly given the opportunity to become more human than human? Continue reading

Lord of the Geeks: How I Fixed My HDTV

My one year old HDTV recently bit the big one about a month out of warranty. This sucks for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that it’s a one year old TV that’s the second most expensive thing I own after my car, and it crapped out after slightly over a year, the exact length of the manufacturer warranty.

Now, I’m an industrious fellow, and I prefer to fix something rather than either replace it or throw it away. Considering my TV was out of warranty, and having it professionally fixed was going to cost $500-$800, which isn’t far from what I paid for it to begin with, I figured I’d see if I could fix it myself.

This is the story of how I fixed my TV.

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What Might a Liberal Tea Party Look Like?

“There must be some kind of way out of here”
Said the joker to the thief
“There’s too much confusion,
I can’t get no relief”

This week on HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, Maher did an extended monologue in the “New Rules” segment on what a Liberal Tea Party might look like. Maher may be a terrible person, but as a political comedian he’s top notch. Regardless, it got me thinking:  what might a real Liberal Tea Party look like? Continue reading