For today’s Daily Sausage, I’m venturing into the dark heart of conservatism itself: the right-wing blogosphere.
Welcome to the Daily Sausage.
The last several weeks have highlighted a divide that exists between conservatives and reality. I’ve written extensively about liberal news, but never have I immersed myself in conservative news. Well, today that will change.
Like Marlow chasing Kurtz down the Congo, I am taking a proverbial steamship into the Heart of Darkness itself: the conservative blogosphere.
I have spent the day reading articles from individuals that left the GOP behind in an effort to understand what I’m about to experience.
Pray for me.
First, we start with Michele Malkin, “‘A’ is for Agitation: Radical Chicago Teachers on Parade”. That sound you just heard is furiouslyred’s head exploding.
The whole article is basically an ad-hominem assault on CTU President Karen Lewis. Intensely irritating, but not what I’m looking for.
I find myself next at the National Review Online, “The Democrats’ GM Fiction”.
What I find most interesting is that the UAW is blamed for “extortionate” labor costs, whereas the “hideabound management” mostly gets a pass. There’s no shortage of blame for GM, but the idea that the UAW was somehow wholly responsible is laughable, while management that failed to recognize and react to rising fuel prices and changing consumer trends gets let off the hook. Why is it that Ford, which has the same union as GM and Chrysler, was doing OK? It’s because they reacted to change in economic conditions. GM and Chrysler didn’t. Yet, they were saved because they represented potentially millions of lost jobs and the collapse of the American auto industry.
I wanted to see something on climate change, and I found this goody on NRO’s frontpage: Patrick Michaels, “Obama’s Drought on Facts”.
Long story short, it’s a haphazard explanation of why the planet getting hotter has absolutely nothing to do with this summer’s drought.
What I did find interesting was this response from the comments:
Are you kidding, do you think Dimocrats and Global Warmist conspirators need facts to push their “make me millions” agendas!
When did Scientists Driving Mercedes become the new Young Bucks Buying T-Bone Steaks?
In what I can only assume is a Malaria-induced fever, I stumbled across this gem: “5 Funny Sandra Fluke Graphics From Around The Web”.
WARNING: INDIVIDUALS WITH HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SHOULD NOT CLICK THAT LINK, AS YOU MAY STROKE OUT.
No journey into the dark heart of conservatism would be complete without stopping in to see what Rush Limbaugh has to say.
“How Long Do We Have If Obama Wins?”
This is paranoid, apocalyptic conspiracy mongering at it’s finest. I mean, it’s really Grade-A stuff.
In a rare moment of sunshine, I came across this wonderful bit of news: “Daily Caller barred from CAIR press conference on Islamist attacks on Libya and Egypt”. The CAIR is the Council on American-Islamic Relations, and they called The DC a hate group.
Not gonna lie, I smiled at that one.
I made my way to RedState, which, although stupid, wasn’t as inflammatory as I’d hoped.
I did find this though: “Why Conservatives are Better than Liberals”
“Well,” I thought, “This oughta be a hoot.”
And sure enough, it was.
In places like New York City and San Francisco, the liberal elite enjoy sitting around their boutique coffee shops, discussing just how dumb those redneck conservatives are, and how liberals are so much MORE sophisticated and intelligent.
Or Indianapolis. In a hot tub. With a moderate and a conservative. But do go on.
Those rednecks in places like Texas, Arizona, and Louisiana are too busy promoting hate against women, illegal aliens, and homosexuals, to understand even a fraction of what the typical liberal THINKS he or she knows!
I don’t need to go to Texas, Arizona, or Louisiana for that. I can just drive to the south side of the city.
One such courageous (please read into my sarcasm) liberal-warrior is Sam Bacile, who decided to show the world just how smart he truly is by making a film that he no doubt thought was “brilliant”!
Well, that’s all nice and good, except that there’s no evidence that Sam Bacile is liberal, and even less that Bacile actually exists.
The next time some idiot like Bacile has an idea for a brilliant political movie, perhaps he should first ask those rednecks in the south if they don’t mind risking their life to defend his freedom of speech!
We have an all-volunteer military. If those southern rednecks are uncomfortable defending the right to free speech with their lives, perhaps they should not be soldiers.
In what is probably the strangest turn on this journey, I found this at Free Republic: “Josh Sankey will travel across America using only bacon as money”.
Well then. Moving on.
Breitbart was entirely graphic tragedy porn, so I decided to spare all of you.
Hot Air was also uninteresting. At this point, I’m not so much outraged as I am bored. Every site is the same thing.
Newsbusters is the same thing. Just “Look at the liberal media beating up on Poor Mitt Romney”.
The formatting on Instapundit is so bad I don’t even know where to find anything.
Now I’m in the dark heart of conservatism, I’m sure of it. Atlas Shrugs and Newsmax. The home of rampant Islamophobia and Birtherism. Surely here is where I will find my Colonel Kurtz.
Well, Atlas Shrugs is a bust. More tragedy porn.
Oh. Oh my.
Finally, something good.
From Newsmax, “George W. Bush will be seen as a great President.”
Oh yes. That’s the good stuff. HIT ME AGAIN.
From WorldNetDaily, “CLAIM: Obama hid ‘gay life’ to become President”
YES. YES. YES. FINALLY.
And yet, for as funny as this is, I am unsatisfied. I expected frothing at the mouth insanity, and all I got was bored. Maybe it was the day, but I was singularly unimpressed.
The Daily Sausage resumes it’s regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.
